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My job is ending earlier than expected. (TW: Suicide)
Posted September 2nd 2022 at 05:56 PM by Ennui.
I thought my job was ending in December but it's really ending between November 15-17th. I thought I had more time.
I'm panicking because that means I'll have to apply for jobs and I'll never find one with this good of a boss and this much flexibility to make my own schedule, AND one where I make this good of money. My therapist said I'd be good for a part-time job but I'm going to have to go full-time if I want to make enough to pay the bills. I don't know if I'll be able to cope with that.
When I look on Indeed, the job openings website, there's nothing that stands out to me and everything is not flexible. I'm going to hate what I do. Then, what if I lose my insurance because if I make more money being full time? I wouldn't be to afford all my prescriptions and doctor c oopays. I have thousands of dollars worth of prescriptions.
Part of the issue is I don't have my driver's license but the anxiety around that is still very bad and makes me want to die.
I had said I'd kill myself after a certain date, when I was no longer working and had nothing left to look forward to. I still have things to look forward to now, but part of me wants to ignore them and push that date up now that I won't have a mob and feel so hopeless.
Why not just die?
I'm panicking because that means I'll have to apply for jobs and I'll never find one with this good of a boss and this much flexibility to make my own schedule, AND one where I make this good of money. My therapist said I'd be good for a part-time job but I'm going to have to go full-time if I want to make enough to pay the bills. I don't know if I'll be able to cope with that.
When I look on Indeed, the job openings website, there's nothing that stands out to me and everything is not flexible. I'm going to hate what I do. Then, what if I lose my insurance because if I make more money being full time? I wouldn't be to afford all my prescriptions and doctor c oopays. I have thousands of dollars worth of prescriptions.
Part of the issue is I don't have my driver's license but the anxiety around that is still very bad and makes me want to die.
I had said I'd kill myself after a certain date, when I was no longer working and had nothing left to look forward to. I still have things to look forward to now, but part of me wants to ignore them and push that date up now that I won't have a mob and feel so hopeless.
Why not just die?
Total Comments 2
Comments
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I'm so sorry about this Dez. I'll send you good thoughts your way so that you will be able to find the perfect job for you and your boss is going to be very nice, always helpful to you, you will be able to make your own schedule and the pay is really good.
I don't want you to die, I would miss you too much. I love being friends with you and working with you on Teenhelp. You are so sweet and always helpful. I hope you will be okay soon.
Posted September 3rd 2022 at 01:15 PM by Arabesque- golfing girl.
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I'm so sorry you're feeling this way, Dezmaid. I wish there was something I can do for you; but all I can say is that you've been such a wonderful friend. You are the literally the only one on this website that has put up with me consistently for all these years; with the occasional disappearances here and there, but you've always come back!
:hug: <3Posted September 11th 2022 at 07:00 PM by
