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Just... (TRIGGERING)
Posted February 29th 2012 at 02:03 AM by Ennui.
I'm sorry about how worried I am about myself, how often I have thought about ODing or jumping. God, I get nervous with how deep I want to go when I cut, and how deep I WOULD go if my parents wouldn't catch me.
What sucks is I'm scared of how much of this I'll actually go through when I'm 18 but it scares me just to have those thoughts. Hopefully my therapy will take care of this before I hit 18.
And now on to the sappy shit. Only one person will actually know what I'm talking about here.
I don't know why but I couldn't say it to their face, but I want them to find this. <3
I'm sorry when I don't go to you when I relapse. I'm sorry when I have to turn down your invitations because you KNOW that I would if I could, right? I'm sorry when you are venting to me and I don't know what to say, I really wish I had more life experience to say the right thing, I WANT to see the right thing and make it all better. I'm sorry about how any time we're texting and you compliment me or say you're there for me I basically cry. I DO worry about you, you know. If something ever happened to you, you don't know how sad I'd be. Just... I love you, okay. <3
What sucks is I'm scared of how much of this I'll actually go through when I'm 18 but it scares me just to have those thoughts. Hopefully my therapy will take care of this before I hit 18.
And now on to the sappy shit. Only one person will actually know what I'm talking about here.
I don't know why but I couldn't say it to their face, but I want them to find this. <3I'm sorry when I don't go to you when I relapse. I'm sorry when I have to turn down your invitations because you KNOW that I would if I could, right? I'm sorry when you are venting to me and I don't know what to say, I really wish I had more life experience to say the right thing, I WANT to see the right thing and make it all better. I'm sorry about how any time we're texting and you compliment me or say you're there for me I basically cry. I DO worry about you, you know. If something ever happened to you, you don't know how sad I'd be. Just... I love you, okay. <3
Total Comments 1
Comments
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Hey Dez,
I know things will get better, just give it time. Talking to your therapist will help in time if you let them. Open up to them and whatever they give for advice to help you, take it. I know things can be scary and all but you can get through it. Just keep your eyes on your goal of getting better. <3 I'm always here if you ever need to talk about anything, anytime. You know how to reach me and you know I rarely ever sleep. ;P :hug;Posted February 29th 2012 at 03:15 PM by ilovecountrymusic
