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Nothing. (Triggering)
Posted May 10th 2014 at 05:17 AM by Ennui.
Tags anxiety, cutting, depression, irritability, self harm, therapy
I got a new blade. Again. My friend sent me this one. Cut today for no particular reason except to try it out. This one works the best out of all of them. But it's still not enough. It still won't give me the satisfaction I want since I can't slice myself whenever I want. Now that summer's coming I have to be even more careful but everyone will find out at my birthday or graduation party anyway.
I can't stay happy for long right now anyway. I can be all happy and excited but it's like there's this dark shadow hanging over it, waiting to roll in. It's always hanging over my head.
Apparently I haven't hid how irritable and angry I get over things well, though. My friend notices it too. I wonder who else has.
Therapy isn't enough anymore. I don't know what is.
I can't stay happy for long right now anyway. I can be all happy and excited but it's like there's this dark shadow hanging over it, waiting to roll in. It's always hanging over my head.
Apparently I haven't hid how irritable and angry I get over things well, though. My friend notices it too. I wonder who else has.
Therapy isn't enough anymore. I don't know what is.
Total Comments 5
Comments
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Dezi! I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I understand how hard it is to fight off the bad feelings but you can do it. You are strong enough to overcome this. As I keep saying you can talk to me anytime about anything. Hang in there Dez, you got dis! :) :hug:Posted May 10th 2014 at 06:11 AM by Thereishope
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Dez <3
I am so sorry you are going through this. You are strong Dez. You can overcome this,I know.
You can talk to me anytime, I am always here
Posted May 10th 2014 at 09:15 AM by Chai.
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mermaid (new nickname cuz you're adorable)- firstly: i dont understand what "friend" would send this. when it comes to cutting- nothing will ever be enough. you need to stop before it consumes you, though by the descriptions it sounds like it has. sadly, i also understand, so never hesitate to talk to me
there is always hope.... i was clean for around 5 years and it felt amazing, one day i hope to get there again....Posted May 11th 2014 at 04:38 AM by Darkened_Empress
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Hey, I hope you get through this and feel better soon. I just read this post and felt so sorry that someone as nice and beautiful as you has to go through such dark stuff. I don't really understand what you're going through, but trust me, if you wanna talk, I can talk for hours. I swear, I'll even google funny jokes for you to make you smile.
Stay strong, beautiful person. I love you. :*Posted May 11th 2014 at 07:44 AM by random.mess
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I dont get why your friend would send you a blade either. Does this friend know about the S/H and such like or did they just like send you a blade ? It is okay to not be okay. You know where I am if you need me.Posted May 11th 2014 at 05:14 PM by WhisperingSilence
