Log in (
...
Confusion? (TRIG)
Posted January 31st 2012 at 02:28 AM by Ennui.
Tags community service, emotions, motivation, suicide, thoughts
I had a pretty good week last week I guess. Nothing major happened. But yet this week, still nothing has happened and I find my negative thoughts have returned.
My motivation has been down the toilet for a while but yet I still get upset when I don't do well on something. I haven't felt any strong emotions but yet I'm still sitting here thinking all negatively. I'm a failure who will never get anywhere and I feel ugly and wish I could get hit by the nearest bus or something because I'm too chicken to do anything. And this is all while barely feeling any emotion. Or so I think. I don't even know. That's what's confusing. What's wrong with me? Therapy can't come fast enough.
I don't want to do community service tomorrow. I've stopped enjoying it for some reason and unless my friend comes I'm going to isolate myself and feel so alone and...I don't know. This is something I want to do and keep doing but it's not as fun anymore.
My motivation has been down the toilet for a while but yet I still get upset when I don't do well on something. I haven't felt any strong emotions but yet I'm still sitting here thinking all negatively. I'm a failure who will never get anywhere and I feel ugly and wish I could get hit by the nearest bus or something because I'm too chicken to do anything. And this is all while barely feeling any emotion. Or so I think. I don't even know. That's what's confusing. What's wrong with me? Therapy can't come fast enough.
I don't want to do community service tomorrow. I've stopped enjoying it for some reason and unless my friend comes I'm going to isolate myself and feel so alone and...I don't know. This is something I want to do and keep doing but it's not as fun anymore.
Total Comments 1
Comments
-
I can definitely relate to the negative thoughts thing. The trick is to find something that helps you deal with them; for example, I turn mine into poems or stories. You can also try, with every negative thought, flipping it into a positive. Like, if you think 'I'm not good at anything', remind yourself that 'Hey, that's not true, I [insert achievement here]'. It can take a while, but going against the negativity like that can help.
I may not have all the right words, but I do care about you. I'm always here if you want to rant/talk/whatever. I've been where you are, and I hate seeing such a lovely, caring person feeling so low, so if there's anything I can ever do, just say the word.
Posted January 31st 2012 at 10:26 AM by Storyteller.
