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Ah, screwed. (Triggering: SH)
Posted March 24th 2013 at 01:28 AM by Ennui.
I go for a prom dress at the first week of April.
I want to wear a short dress. I'm NOT letting my scars stop me from that, unless of course I fall in love with a long dress.
I'm buying my first pair of shorts since elementary school this summer if I find a pair that looks good on me. I'm NOT Letting my scars stop me. Self image maybe.
But I just cut again. My one last hoorah before my mom sees my thighs and I can't anymore. I'll tell her that they're from before I sent her the letter, but will they be healed enough for that in time? I sure hope so.
New cuts are incredibly visible. Healing cuts are too. Maybe some of the new cuts will be less visible because I'm not getting overly short. But I'm still going to have to explain these to my mom. I'll say they're before I sent the letter, that I only showed her my arms, not my thighs. That I should've shown her my thighs too and she can check after but this is all she'll see on them. That I'm getting help from my counselor now and that I haven't self harmed since the letter. They'll be two weeks old at that point so they'll have healed some, right?
My brother in law will see these in the summer so I'll just have to explain the letter to him too and watch him flip out. And the rest of my family, too.
The bad part is: I want to do more.
I want to wear a short dress. I'm NOT letting my scars stop me from that, unless of course I fall in love with a long dress.
I'm buying my first pair of shorts since elementary school this summer if I find a pair that looks good on me. I'm NOT Letting my scars stop me. Self image maybe.
But I just cut again. My one last hoorah before my mom sees my thighs and I can't anymore. I'll tell her that they're from before I sent her the letter, but will they be healed enough for that in time? I sure hope so.
New cuts are incredibly visible. Healing cuts are too. Maybe some of the new cuts will be less visible because I'm not getting overly short. But I'm still going to have to explain these to my mom. I'll say they're before I sent the letter, that I only showed her my arms, not my thighs. That I should've shown her my thighs too and she can check after but this is all she'll see on them. That I'm getting help from my counselor now and that I haven't self harmed since the letter. They'll be two weeks old at that point so they'll have healed some, right?
My brother in law will see these in the summer so I'll just have to explain the letter to him too and watch him flip out. And the rest of my family, too.
The bad part is: I want to do more.
Total Comments 2
Comments
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I would love to give you some reassuring words, but the reality is people react to scars. And their reactions will often hurt you and confuse you, and you probably won't know what to say.
The important thing is don't hide any more.
By having your scars, and your healing cuts, out in the open, you have to be honest with yourself, and honest with the people around you. Sure you will struggle, and they will struggle with it too, and you may often think of relapse. And you may relapse. But it's okay.
You've taken huge steps in the last few weeks. And when you get that prom dress . . . I want to see you in it!
<3 stay strong Dez.Posted March 24th 2013 at 08:01 AM by i_like_black
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As I mentioned to you the other day, I'm pretty confident that as long as you let them properly heal aka don't pick at them, etc, they should fade enough to not be alarming. Also stating that this was before the letter will help as well, since as you said, she didn't check there before.
Glad to see that you're not letting this get in the way of picking out a dress though! I bet whatever dress you pick you'll look stunning. :)
Remember I'm always here to talk anytime you need too! You got dis! :dem: :)Posted March 25th 2013 at 03:45 PM by Thereishope
