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Posted January 19th 2014 at 09:14 PM by Wheek!

It all hit me again. 65 in science isn't going to get improved because I realized from the start of everything that I can't do it and have more work for that class loaded on top of me to add on to all of it. Fun. Spent the other night crying because I realized how much of a failure I really am. Haven't studied. Any time I think about it I cry.

Math: Apparently what we are doing has a lot of "simple algebra" in it. Simple? God. I can't even do any of it.

Maybe the person who told me I should take an English major was right. But I can't see myself doing anything else other than public health or biology. But the more and more I try and get through, I realized I'm not going to be capable of doing any of it.

Just want to sleep.

Just want to stop trying.

Even the little things bother me nowadays.

Want to cut. Part of me just wants to let loose on my arms and take my chances with my parents. I'm gonna be fucked when I go for my physical within the next month or two because my thighs are so scarred up and she WILL tell. Last time, my doctor told my mom even though there were only a few little scars. There's more than a few now.

Part of me wants to die or at least give up. Part of me wonders if I'll ever end up being hospitalized in the future.

Oh well.
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  1. Old Comment
    Thereishope's Avatar
    Hey there! I know school is tough, been there done that. Don't give up though, keep working as hard as you can but also don't stress yourself out either. Do the best you can with your work and I know you really want to work in certain areas but maybe there's something more suited for that might end up being better in the long run. Just take things step by step, Don't let everything get to you to the point where you want to SH or feel like giving up. Anytime you feel yourself stressing over something just remember to take a step back and relax, I can honestly tell you that there is NOTHING worth getting that worked up/stressed over. Hang in there, stay safe and remember I'm always here for you!
    permalink
    Posted January 20th 2014 at 12:42 AM by Thereishope Thereishope is offline
  2. Old Comment
    coolkid98's Avatar
    Hi there, please don't give up. School can be tough but if you keep working hard you will get there, try not to worry about it. You could ask your teachers for extra support in the lessons your struggling with.
    Keep strong and keep fighting. I'm always here if you want to talk
    permalink
    Posted January 20th 2014 at 08:09 PM by coolkid98 coolkid98 is offline
 
 
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