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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Unhappy How To Help A Friend Who is Depressed - April 21st 2012, 06:54 PM

Hi there, I'm new to this website, and this is my very first post. I joined to hopefully get some advice about how to handle some "situations". So as you can see from the title... I have a very close friend who is suffering from depression... I understand whats he's going through since my daddy has depression But my friend has resorted to things like alcohol, smoking, and drugs to try and make the pain go away. He has tried talking to his parents about it but they don't understand it. And I was wondering if anyone had any advice about what I should say or do when he gets down? Thanks in advance

and btw i'm not sure if this is the right forum for this or not :S
   
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Re: How To Help A Friend Who is Depressed - April 21st 2012, 11:20 PM

First of all welcome to Teen Help! I'm glad that you are reaching out. It's totally understandable that you are concerned about your friend.

Do his parents know everything that he has been doing? I think it would be a good thing for him to be open and honest with them. I'm sorry you said that they dont "understand". But my best advice would be for him to see a professional and talk about the underlying feelings of sadness that he has. As you said, he is acting out as a way of coping, many people do. But there is more out there for him! Even though he doesn't realize it, and it's a lousy situation.

The only thing that you can do personally is be supportive of him, not his "actions", but telling him "Hey, I'm here if you need to talk about anything." and even encouraging him to try to get help could be a good thing, but if he is resistant to it, you cannot force that. Just be a positive influence in his life. If it becomes to much for you though, it would be understandable to need a break from the relationship.

I'm sorry this is happening for you and your friend, that would be so difficult.
I hope that this helped in some way and that you feel a little more at ease.

Message me anytime!
Shelby


   
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Re: How To Help A Friend Who is Depressed - April 21st 2012, 11:36 PM

Be Aware of the situation and your friend

Be Able to help your friend

Be Prepared to help your friend

I'm really sorry about your friend. A way you can help is by being a friend.
1)Acknowledge and tell your friend that you know about him suffering from depression.
2)Do not pretend like nothing is wrong.
3)Find out why your friend is depressed.
4)Take your friend's reasons for depression seriously.
5)Listen to everything that your friend has to say.
6)Don't make jokes when they are talking to.
7)Try to understand what your friend is going through.
8)What not to do. Don't tell your friend that life is still worth living and that this situation will improve and the sadness will get better. This trivializes their pain and will not help. Do not try to make them feel better by reminding them how much better their lives are than other people's. They know that and it makes them feel guilty about their condition because they feel like they should just be able to be grateful for life because they have it better than a lot of people yet they can't seem to do it. Don't ask them to "cheer up" or "snap out of it". People with depression aren't capable of just doing it so simply, so be sensitive to that. It'll only make them feel more guilty about their condition. NEVER tell them that their problems are stupid or that there is nothing to worry about. They'll stop talking. This can lead them to more suicidal tendencies.
9)Be patient
10)Don't push too hard


"There wouldn't be a song called 'You Found Me' had God known'How to Save a Life.'"

"Concern yourself with only your matters." -E.A.W.


R.I.P. Tatyana Sawka June 20, 1998- April 9, 2012
R.I.P. Patch Herrmann January 29, 2000- Decmeber 6, 2012
   
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