Triggering (Suicide): i dont know what to think anymore

[jamesd94]

so, like i dont know to right this as this is hard for me and i have never told any one this before..

so, i know people have it much harder than me but i get stressed easily and i have tried doing this many times before to..

its like, i meet this girl online that i have been talking to for quite along time now, we have talked about everything, she has told be about her best friend that committed suicide and, its like i dont want to do that to her, we talked about me doing attempting this before, she made me promise that i would not do this, she made me promise that i would never feel like this. and now its like we have told each over that we love each over and that one day we will meet, for her now to throw it all back on my face by saying that this will never happen now matter how much i tried to make it.. but i love her and now she does not want to know anymore.. i have trusted her with my life and i have done the same to her.. i managed to talk her out of killing her self.. and now she she does not want to know anymore.. i have told her things that i have never told anyone else before.. she is the only person in my life that i actually live for. and with out her feel as if there is not reason for me to live anymore.. and i know that people say that there are many other girls out there it would never be the same for me. i could never love someone else like i love her.. i just want to go.. i feel like i annoy here when i talk to her i dont want that.. i just feel like i should leave her alone i should just leave this world. I cant live without her.. i should go..

ok so i know this may not seem to be much of a big deal, but for me this is, this is not even all of what i think. i just dont know what i should write here... i just want someone to talk to about this.. i feel alone..

im sorry if this is also in the wrong section or anything.. i just want to get this out.. i need to tell someone this before i do something stupid.. im sorry

[Collies R Us]

Tell her how you feel. Maybe she will understand. Don't kill yourself please. There are other things worth living for.
- Collies R Us aka Ally

[Odyne]

Wow. Sounds exactly like me a couple of years ago.
You are having a hard time, and so is she. Maybe it's a good idea not to talk right now.
It's a difficult situation, but don't kill yourself.

It's really brave of you to tell us about it, and I know you can tell someone you trust about this.
You need help. And you deserve help.

I'm sorry I'm not for much help.
If you need someone to talk to, just message me.
But don't expect I can fix it all. I can only support you.

Take care
Lucy

[jamesd94]

Originally Posted by Odyne

It's really brave of you to tell us about it, and I know you can tell someone you trust about this.
You need help. And you deserve help.

Take care
Lucy

the thing is i cant trust anyone anymore, i have tried but people give me reasons not to.. i have tried so hard this time.. but now i wonder why i even bother with people, all i do in life is try and to get it all thrown back at me, i just cant take this anymore, she was the only one i have ever trusted since my dad left when i was a child, that has been a long time, i mean i have never met her in person, but i knew i could, but i guess i thought wrong.. she wont even message me anymore, she messages my friend to message me, like last night she messages him to message me if i can go on the web cam with her and my mate.. whats so difficult... i dont get this anymore..

[Odyne]

Go see a doctor, sweety.
I understand it's difficult, but you need help.

[Odyne]

Go see a doctor, sweety.
I understand it's difficult, but you need help.

[jamesd94]

Originally Posted by Odyne

Go see a doctor, sweety.
I understand it's difficult, but you need help.

im sorry..
but a doctor cant help me now.. im crushed.. i dont want to do this but i feel i need to.. im doing people a favor... no one needs me.. my so called 'friends' dont even talk to me.. she was the only one who did.. the only one i could talk about my problems with.. she understood me.. and with knowing what is happening scares me.. im confused, lonely and i dont know what im doing.. i just dont know what i can say.. i want to say something but it will just be ignored....

[Odyne]

We don't ignore you, we care.
It's not too late. Don't do this. Please.
Your friends don't know how you feel, they don't know you're sad and suicidal.

You need to talk to someone. They can help you.