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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Maddiystic Offline
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Society - August 5th 2012, 02:01 AM

If there is one thing I don't understand, this is it. Society.
-------------------------------
1: Appearance
--
I don't understand at all why appearance really matters. Yet people judge on it-- mostly with being "fat" and skinny.
Everyone has different body types-- I'm tall with a wider frame. I get mocked for it so much whenever I go to school, etc.
Why is skinny= pretty and "fat"= UGLY?
WHY? And what exactly is it to be "fat"? Just by not looking skinny; having an odd build?
Why do people judge based on LOOKS?
What should you care if I want to dress how I feel like dressing-- it's appropriate and all, but obviously not what society wants me to do--
I don't like makeup, I don't like wasting money on brand-name or "stylish" clothing- I'm happy with simple clothes. But none seem to understand. Once again. mocking ensues.
--------------------------------------------------------
2: Mental Disorders
--------
Alright, this is going to be a bit of a touchy topic, so let me clear some things up now:
I know that there ARE serious mental disorders that are the reason for mental difference. I respect this fact.
However, there seems to be a disorder for every single small difference people have between each other. Why? You're just a little different-- how does this make one 'unstable', 'insane' or 'impaired'? I mean, differences don't make that. Why do we define every difference we have, label it mental illness and have an excuse for society to either look down on you, or to have an excuse as to why you're different?
Once again, I understand there are serious illnesses and I respect that fact.
----------------------------------------------------------------
3: Acceptance
-----------------------------
Let's call this person... Jill.
Jill used to be a bit overweight. That's fine; she can fix that.
People bullied Jill over that. Jill already had plans to lose a little weight, and went trough with it. Afterwards, people were mean to her over different things. Unfortunately, it got to Jill and she decided to keep changing to not be what the people called her out as. It never really ended.
(This was someone I knew.)
Why did people never accept Jill? She was a wonderful person.

-----------------------------------------------------------
4: Social
-----------------
So what, THIS is how I see society and people. This is a reason why I prefer to be alone. SO, why don't people leave me alone after that? They try to get me to talk to others and just won't take "No, I prefer to be alone" as an answer.
---------------------------------------


These are some problems I've had with people within society in general.
I see clearly that I don't fit in well.
I can't say I want to fit in with it though.
_-------
The problem from here is the fact that I don't see reason to live in a world like this. It's cruel and imho not worth it at all.
-----------------------
Story-telling medias: video games, books, movies.... they all make great escapes from reality. But you can't live in them forever. Even if the world around you is unbelievable.
-------
Honestly, I can't take it anymore-- It seems most can't even accept differences. Most can't accept that physical 'beauty' doesn't matter.
I'm sorry, but I don't see a point to a world like this.
I don't really plan on leaving this world right now.
But I don't understand how I can stay in a place like this.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Society - August 5th 2012, 04:03 AM

1. People have always judged appearance.. In some countries, the 'fatter' you are, the more beautiful you are. People will always judge appearance, and honestly, that's all there is to it. But that doesn't mean that you have to judge based on it too. You may not be queer (gay, bi, pan, etc).. but look into this amazing ever-growing movement going on right about now, especially in New York. "Fat Femme" or "Queer Fat Femme" and "Body Positive Parties".. It might make you rethink the limits that you seem to set on yourself by listening to other people define who and what you are. Embrace your body type, regardless of what other people define it as, and be proud. Like those women in that movement, I know so many women who identify as "fat" and they really do feel empowered by the word. It's not a degrading word anymore. It can be a very beautiful thing.
One day, you'll leave high school and realize that even though some people will still judge looks (clothing, makeup, etc..), it doesn't matter much. I'm 19 and I barely wear makeup.. I'm lucky if I feel like putting mascara on.

You're better than them, and you always will be.. Because you notice the things that those judgmental fools will not. Don't let them stop you from growing, because if you keep pushing on, one day.. you'll be the one looking down on them.



2) Sometimes people want attention, they want other people to sympathize.. and some medical/psychology professionals love making money.

And then.. you have to realize that people are afraid of things that are different, they're afraid of change.. So they put social pressure on other people to be confined to a specific lifestyle, and if they don't.. there's "obviously something wrong with them".. which is bull.


3) Because people suck. Some people will never be able to accept other people because they can't even accept themselves. I'm sure Jill is a wonderful person, but she's not worth the time of people who can't realize that.



So this is where I say "blah blah.. life is wonderful, keep going.. society doesn't suck that much.. blah blah.." But I'm not. You're right. Society is quite terrible.. But why want to get out of it?

Don't let society change you, you have to change society.

Don't like something? Speak up. Be an activist, a pacifist, an all around revolutionary. Sitting around won't get anything done.. Be knowledgeable. Read up on things, learn about society.. and change it.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Society - August 5th 2012, 06:06 AM

How can one person change it? Haven't people tried? Honestly, I do speak up. I get shot down by all. What's the point?


And I thank you for your words, but after everything said, why would you want to stay IN it?

Yeah, I do hope one day it'll be better. But there's only ever one guarantee in life, and this isn't it.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Society - August 5th 2012, 03:24 PM

You have rights, don't you? I mean, as a woman.. if nobody tried to change anything.. You'd still be property, right? Your family might own slaves. The US wouldn't even be the US.. it would belong to France or Spain, and those people would still belong to the English. Tell me again that one person can't change it all. Sure, most of those were group efforts, but don't you realize that one person had the ability to get their ideas heard enough to have others follow or cooperate with them? Please, tell me how it can't be changed.
You get shot down because you allow yourself to get shot down. For someone who wants to seem so open minded, you're closing off a lot of possibilities. I stay in it because while others go through life looking forward to the future, I go through it creating my future. Don't like something? Don't just sit by and complain about how much it sucks, do something about it. I don't mean to be rude, but why not live in this society? It's the perfect place and time to make an impact, no matter how small. If you're not seeing change, create it.


"Although only breath, words which I command are immortal." Sappho

"Sometimes I feel nothing at all. Sometimes I feel everything is my fault.
Sometimes I feel the hate break my mind. Sometimes I feel they deserve it this time.
May the bridges I burn light my way." - I, Alone - Otep

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Society - August 5th 2012, 04:17 PM

Hi there.

Im sorry you have such a negative view on society

Firstly, yes SOME people do judge but honestly? Shit happens. I guess we can't change everyones view on how to view people by their weight, body type, clothing, hair, etc. And thats the way it is. Its up to us who don't judge people to bring up our children to be 'nice' and not to judge and its up to the people who do get judged, not to let it badly affect them. We can't stop people from judging others. I personally don't know a lot of people who think skinny is pretty and fat is ugly. I know a lot of my friends just like to be healthy and to them having curves is good and 'pretty'. I guess it varies in the world, where you live.

Wear what you want and do what you want; don't worry about what others think. That's their life and their problem - not yours.

Personally, I don't have the same view you do about mental illness. I dont know anyone who thinks they have a mental illness because they like things straight or because they went through a week of feeling 'low'. Again, that might be because of where we both live, I don't know. But I don't come across that.

Not everyone is going to get along. People are going to judge and not accept. Right now, its part of life but its down to the individuals to change and its also down to the individuals not to let what's said bother them. Yes it can knock confidence but its up to us to work on our own personal skills to prevent it from causing us doing harm to ourselves.

Go out with friends, get experience and adventure. Do what you want to do because you want to do it and wear what you want to wear because it's what YOU want to wear. Don't worry about people judging you. Like I said, that's their problem not yours. You're still you and that's fine. You're going to get people who don't like you and you'll get people who do like you. Not everyone likes everyone and I think that's okay. Don't get hung up over these negative views on society.

Im glad you came to us and I hope ranting and talking about it helped. I know writing things down often helps me. I know its hard to accept things that go on in the world but its important you learn to cope with them so they don't affect your life. You can do this so keep on smiling. You're worth a lot and you're beautiful the way you are.

Keep smiling and keep talking if it helps.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: Society - August 5th 2012, 07:09 PM

1. Because people naturally judge others we are born to organize our world and catagorize everything including people, and appearance is easy for us because it's the first impression we get of someone. I completely agree with you though, what's considered acceptable or not or pretty or ugly are all socially constructed concepts.

2. I have to tell you before I get into this one that I have a mental illness and I'm going into the counseling profession. I take offense to the "some just love making money" comment most don't even make that much and most people who go into it don't do it for the money. Even given that I still somewhat agree with you. Yes there absolutely ARE people with SERIOUS mental illnesses and MOST people who seek or need treatment are NOT attention seeking. However, there are things that are considered disorders that are just differences. It seems to me like if you can't function or contribute to society the way that it believes that you should be able to then there is something wrong with you and a lot of times it's considered a mental problem. Again we are looking for ways to make our world make sense so if something (or someone) doesn't fit then we have to explain it somehow. That doesn't make it okay to discriminate, mistreat, or be prejudiced towards those individuals, but it happens. There are mentally ill individuals who are respected, contributing members of society and mentally-healthy people who aren't. There are also people with mental illnesses who use them as excuses not to have to do things which reflects poorly on everyone with mental illness. I know most people don't, but that's something that gets to me.

3. Because some people are shallow, mean, and have nothing better to do than to tear somebody down. I don't know why they do it either.

4. People are natually social beings we are drawn to relationships with others and we can not function when completely socially isolated. That doesn't mean that some of us can't enjoy solitude. Some people just don't understand when to back off because they can't accept that just because they want to be social all the time doesn't mean that everyone else does.


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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Society - August 9th 2012, 06:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palmolive View Post
Hi there.

Im sorry you have such a negative view on society

Firstly, yes SOME people do judge but honestly? Shit happens. I guess we can't change everyones view on how to view people by their weight, body type, clothing, hair, etc. And thats the way it is. Its up to us who don't judge people to bring up our children to be 'nice' and not to judge and its up to the people who do get judged, not to let it badly affect them. We can't stop people from judging others. I personally don't know a lot of people who think skinny is pretty and fat is ugly. I know a lot of my friends just like to be healthy and to them having curves is good and 'pretty'. I guess it varies in the world, where you live.

Wear what you want and do what you want; don't worry about what others think. That's their life and their problem - not yours.

Personally, I don't have the same view you do about mental illness. I dont know anyone who thinks they have a mental illness because they like things straight or because they went through a week of feeling 'low'. Again, that might be because of where we both live, I don't know. But I don't come across that.

Not everyone is going to get along. People are going to judge and not accept. Right now, its part of life but its down to the individuals to change and its also down to the individuals not to let what's said bother them. Yes it can knock confidence but its up to us to work on our own personal skills to prevent it from causing us doing harm to ourselves.

Go out with friends, get experience and adventure. Do what you want to do because you want to do it and wear what you want to wear because it's what YOU want to wear. Don't worry about people judging you. Like I said, that's their problem not yours. You're still you and that's fine. You're going to get people who don't like you and you'll get people who do like you. Not everyone likes everyone and I think that's okay. Don't get hung up over these negative views on society.

Im glad you came to us and I hope ranting and talking about it helped. I know writing things down often helps me. I know its hard to accept things that go on in the world but its important you learn to cope with them so they don't affect your life. You can do this so keep on smiling. You're worth a lot and you're beautiful the way you are.

Keep smiling and keep talking if it helps.
Jessie
Thanks for the response. I'm not sure how to respond to this post itself; but thanks.

@TheCrowning:

You bring up valid points; I see what you mean and feel better/motivated by what you said. I agree with all but one. Thank you for the reply.

@Kate: Thanks for the response.
2: I'm sorry to hear about your illness and I apologize for any offense I myself may of caused you. I didn't feel like I worded the above right-- I do understand there are actual and serious mental illnesses that people are suffering from. My best wishes to all. However I have seen some where it is something extremely small to the point of where it's just a medical term of defining a way how someone is different-- it doesn't really mean that they are mentally ill, but rather some of these definitions I find are really just differences we have between one another.
---
I also know there are 'milder' mental illnesses which are actual illnesses which will need help to be treated. I'm also more leaning towards the people who use these definitions either against the person titled to it or the person themselve sand taking advantage of it-- exactly as you stated.
4: I guess I'm just starting to realize some people handle other's differences differently-- like in ways like this.
.....To put it correctly, I have known this, but never truly realized it.
Heh.... I guess this helps build up empathy between people.
--------
Thanks for the response, Kate!
   
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Re: Society - August 9th 2012, 07:11 PM

You didn't offend me, because like I said I agree with you. I haven't studied the DSM (ginat book of mental disorders) yet, but I have looked through it and one of the reasons they go through and update it (supposed to be every 5 -10 years) is because they are taking things out that no longer fit. For example in a previous version being gay was considered a mental disorder! so they took that out and now they're working on the next one. Anyway my point is that some of the disorders listed in there are just excuses to diagnose people when they're really just different not "abnormal"which could lead to them either using diagnoses as excuses or labeling themselves negatively. Again, MOST people with disorders don't do this, but I'll admit I have been tempted. The general rule is if somone can function in daily life and their issues don't get in their way they don't fit the criteria for a "disorder"


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Re: Society - August 10th 2012, 04:39 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kate* View Post
You didn't offend me, because like I said I agree with you. I haven't studied the DSM (ginat book of mental disorders) yet, but I have looked through it and one of the reasons they go through and update it (supposed to be every 5 -10 years) is because they are taking things out that no longer fit. For example in a previous version being gay was considered a mental disorder! so they took that out and now they're working on the next one. Anyway my point is that some of the disorders listed in there are just excuses to diagnose people when they're really just different not "abnormal"which could lead to them either using diagnoses as excuses or labeling themselves negatively. Again, MOST people with disorders don't do this, but I'll admit I have been tempted. The general rule is if somone can function in daily life and their issues don't get in their way they don't fit the criteria for a "disorder"
Ah, that clears it up.
That's interesting to hear! I never knew they thought you were ill if you were homosexual. Thanks for the response.
   
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Re: Society - August 10th 2012, 06:23 AM

In my opinion You get shot down because you allow yourself to get shot down. For someone who wants to seem so open minded, you're closing off a lot of possibilities. I stay in it because while others go through life looking forward to the future, I go through it creating my future.
   
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Re: Society - August 10th 2012, 06:33 AM

hey maybe you can think of it this way...with all the stupidity, injustice, and problems in the world, you can be someone who works aginst it. Make your life count for something big and be the change you want to see. Im almost 19 and i wear jeans, a tshirt, no makeup and im kinda pudgey. The people who matter in my life love me for who i am, those who judge me can judge all they want.. i just dont care. You are only responsible for you. But guess what? i have good friends, an amazing boyfriend, and a bright future. Just gotta keep on trying and dont let the little things slow you down.


"One day at a time, this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering." -Ida Scott Taylor
   
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