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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Zayn1992 Offline
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Name: Zayn
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Question does anyone else feel like I do? - August 27th 2012, 06:26 PM

I'm Zayn, I'm 19 years old. Things aren't going so great right now and I can't get out of this dark place. I have depression, and I'm pretty sure it's the bipolar type where I have a few months of depression and despairing, but then briefly comes a time where I feel like I can get through, and I really try to get better. I feel like I'm about to sink back into the depression state. So I have a lot of problems that really distress me and I don't want to have a pity party, I just want to know if there are other people like me?

I have this horrible driving phobia...I space out a lot and I'm terrified I'm going to kill someone and go to prison. This is always in my head...I wish I didn't have to drive, but I have two sisters who have to get to school and a job, so I have to. I try so hard to keep focused, and most of the time I'm ok as far as not spacing out, but in my mind I always feel like I did almost cause a fatal accident. I know this is REALLY stupid...but I do feel this way and I feel like I am going to prison no matter what and that I'm not worthy of the space I take up. I've been sincerely trying to get over this, but easier said than done unfortunately. It's really embarrassing. I realize I probably have some sort of disorder. Thats not only where my depression comes from but it does take up a fair percent, I think bc it causes me so much emotional distress.

I don't like talking to people about my problems but I want to try. I don't have anyone at home that I feel like I can talk to. My mom has alzheimers, my brother's dead, my dad isnt a talker, and frankly just isnt very nice a lot of the time. And my sisters are definately too young for me to throw this on them. I really want to better myself and enjoy life, any advice? I am truly making an effort to get better.

I'd love to hear back from anyone who ever experienced anything like this.
   
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Re: does anyone else feel like I do? - August 27th 2012, 06:36 PM

Hi there.

I don't have a lot to say to you. I have myself struggled with depression and still do and I can understand that this is hard for you. You say you don't really have anyone to talk too and again I can relate to that. Do you have someone else you can talk to outside of the home such as a friend or perhaps if you're in school/college you can always try and talk to someone such as a teacher or a school nurse/guidance counsellor etc. These people can be great sources of support and can really help. I know I spoke to my pastoral support officer for four years until I left school and in my last year I spoke to my head of sixth form a lot too. They both helped me more than anyone I have seen in mental health teams. Don't be afraid to reach out. I know that doing so is hard and scary but if there is a chance it might help you feel better then it's going to be well worth it. If you don't feel you can physically say what's going on and how you're feeling to someone you can always write the person a letter instead. I do that often and find it really helps me to tell people what is going on and how I am feeling. If you felt comfortable doing so, you can always talk to your doctor as well. This is all about you. You talking to who YOU feel YOU can and YOU getting the help YOU need and deserve.

You're not alone in this. Keep your chin up, you've got this.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Zayn1992 Offline
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Re: does anyone else feel like I do? - August 27th 2012, 06:45 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Palmolive View Post
Hi there.

I don't have a lot to say to you. I have myself struggled with depression and still do and I can understand that this is hard for you. You say you don't really have anyone to talk too and again I can relate to that. Do you have someone else you can talk to outside of the home such as a friend or perhaps if you're in school/college you can always try and talk to someone such as a teacher or a school nurse/guidance counsellor etc. These people can be great sources of support and can really help. I know I spoke to my pastoral support officer for four years until I left school and in my last year I spoke to my head of sixth form a lot too. They both helped me more than anyone I have seen in mental health teams. Don't be afraid to reach out. I know that doing so is hard and scary but if there is a chance it might help you feel better then it's going to be well worth it. If you don't feel you can physically say what's going on and how you're feeling to someone you can always write the person a letter instead. I do that often and find it really helps me to tell people what is going on and how I am feeling. If you felt comfortable doing so, you can always talk to your doctor as well. This is all about you. You talking to who YOU feel YOU can and YOU getting the help YOU need and deserve.

You're not alone in this. Keep your chin up, you've got this.
Jessie
Thank you Jessie, you are so kind. I am scared to reach out because I'm embarrassed of myself, but I am willing to try anything, and I know once I get over myself it will be worth it in the end. thanks
   
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