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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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boxzy Offline
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Time to seek advice... - August 30th 2012, 11:16 PM

So I think that I have stood at the metaphorical "cross roads" and advice is necessary. So perhaps my current problems first... I have three problems; thought of suicide, a problem with "should I come out" and drinking + drugs...
I am a very successful 16 yr old in the UK from a migrant family, with top grades and many offers for further study etc... The bothering factor is my family... My father was an alcoholic and a drug addict along with being a born looser, mother who was, is and probs will be an alcoholic and a sister who is a bitch and lives with boyfriend who I detest!
My dads drinking made us move while mum drinks since I can remember, all the time! She lost loads of different jobs and I had some scary moments with her as a child: hiding money from her, trying her not to drink, saving her from drowning in a bath, having her trying to kill herself and many many more... Until this january when she has found out she can die as her liver is pretty much a fat tissue... She STOPPED! But who knows for how long.. The doctors say she can also die anytime...
I tried to commit suicide 3 times... I also prayed for my death but the worst for the death of my mother at some stages when she was drunk and so weak she couldnt get out of the bed for weeks... I wanted her and my pain to stop... I hate myself for that.. and I don't understand how I can want it.
I get hunted by all them scenes from the drunkness of mum and dad in my mind often.. (and don't get me wrong I live well in a nice house and there is enough money for everything (bills, food, etc) but it's just more than that.) I started drinking a LOT myself and smoking bit too much of weed.. I like it too.. I also started going for smoking fegs to chill...
I'm also gay and I am thinking of coming out but I'm afraid to and flustrated inside...

All I want is a bit of advice.. I always deal with stuff myself but this is bit complicated..
   
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Re: Time to seek advice... - August 31st 2012, 01:36 AM

Drinking and drugs r not a good thing. My parents smoke and drink, i have never seen anything good come from it. I used to have a friend addicted to weed, which eventually tore his life to part and now he has nothing left. I'm not going to give you a lecture about drugs and alcohol. Just stay away from them. There are better ways to escape reality without the danger that drinking and drugs carry.
I suggest finding a hobby. 5 months ago i couldnt take or accept the way i lived and how people look at me. The answer for me was music. I found an acoustic guitar in dumpster. I repaired it and began teaching myself. This guitar saved me from self destruction. I was at my limit, but then i found a way to escape reality. I am assuming that drugs and drinking is what you do to not think about your current situation. Everybody has something and needs something to escape reality. If you dont, the results can be catastrophic. My point is, try to do something else than drugs and drinking. Find a guitar and go on the internet and teach yourself. I can even help you with guitar if you want me to. There are other things you can do to. Such as writing for any reason, making music through instruments or programs, or doing something that you love that doesnt inflict self harm or to the people around you.
Being gay isnt something bad. Dont be self couscous about it. My mom said walk tall with your head held high. Be proud of it because its you. If people in your life have a problem with it, so what? Drop them. If they cant accept for who you are and what you stand for, then they are not your true friends. There are 7 billion people on this planet. There are people out there that will accept you for you. I accept you. I dont know you personally, i dont have to though. I have respect for you. By the way, when you wrote this, you already came out. Idk if you believe in God or not. But no matter what you do or how you look, he loves you and accepts you without question. Many people believe if your gay, its a sin and that God doesnt love. WRONG! The bible says God will always love you. I already have high respect for you because you had the courage to say that you were gay. There is nothing wrong with that. Its something that you believe in. You got to stand up for your beliefs with boldness and pride.
Its hard not to think about suicide. You cant control your thoughts. In this life you have to find happiness and people that will accept you. I believe that life and reality is cruel. Life is a bitch. However, there is a beautiful side to life. Everybody has a different opinion about life. To defy reality is happiness. I couldnt the way i lived. So i changed that. You can change your life if you have a will to do so. I did. So can you. Dont ever believe that you are alone. There is God and now you have me. I want to help you. Its my reason to live. I thought 5 months ago that my life was meaningless and that it was a cruel joke. WRONG! Your life only happens once. You cant trade it for another, you cant start over, and you cant give it to someone else. You are your own person. Dont blame the world or others for your problems. You are your problem and your solution. If you are thinking about suicide then that means you cant live your life. So defy reality. Dont accept the things that have happened. Change your life for the better. You can do it. Its hard, but its possible. Dont ever think that its over. Its not over until you say so. Your life is precious. Find a reason to live. If you kill yourself then what is your mom going to do? If you do that, then you proved to your mom that going on living is to painful. Use your life, to show others that life can be successful and joyful. Help others get out of your situation. Live to be an example that suicide isnt the answer. You say that you have great grades in school. Thats gift that God gave you. Use your intelligence to change this world to a better one. Be the change that you want to see in the world. That brain of yours, can be used to help people. Remember, If you kill yourself, it effects everybody. You were given life to do something important. Thats why you were born. I know you didnt have a good childhood, but learn form the mistakes that your parents made and dont repeat. The same path that they went is the same one you are going on right now. I hope i gave you some good advice. I am praying for you and i am with you. Your not alone.
   
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Re: Time to seek advice... - August 31st 2012, 07:35 AM

Thank you! U made my day with your post...
As to a hobby I do a load of music; I'm a pianist and a jazz trumpet player with a concert calendar in the UK, Ireland and France which although gets me to travel and play (and make money) but missing days at school and preparing concerts is very stressful at times... I do some art to escape that... The offers for further study are in music.
It's a bit harder to come out in real life than it is online. I'm coming to a point when I have accepted my sexually which I did find important and hard.
I am Proud of who I am but sadly I don't think there is anyone who knows really who I am... They see a happy musician and a student who has a varied life...
Drink, drugs and fegs may not be the best at 16 but some things are bit hard to leave...
   
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Re: Time to seek advice... - September 1st 2012, 01:38 AM

Its going to take a while to get off of drugs. Try to limit your amount if you can. Never give up. Always have confidence in your abilities and for who you are. Take pride in everything you do. Even if you make mistakes its nothing to be ashamed of. Everyone makes mistakes. No one may know your true self, but when you meet new people, be who you want to. There are many people who will accept you for who you are. I am happy that i could be of some help. If you need help in anything just PM me.
Oh i almost forgot to tell you. People see me as the gamer because i made a reputation of myself on xbox live in my town. I changed my image though. Instead of wearing regular shirts i started wearing guitar shirts and i have a necklace thats my pick holder. Not a lot of people notice the change in me, but slowly people realize i changed in what i like. If you want people to realize that you are not who you used to be, change your image to what you want people think of you. There are people that will say terrible things, but they dont matter so dont pay any attention to them. My dad was having trouble with his life when he was 18 years old. Hey joined the Navy and they fixed his life. They made him into a great person. i am going to join the United States Navy once i am done with high school because i want that pride in myself that they force you to change into. Maybe the military wouldnt be a bad choice for you. Just think about it but idk what country you live in so the experience could be different depending on what country. Just stay strong and try to enjoy your life even though it may not seem good at the current time. U are your solution to the problems in your life. Dont forget that.

Last edited by Guitar LvL Legendary; September 1st 2012 at 01:48 AM.
   
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