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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Flora Offline
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Unhappy Feeling like it's all my fault - August 31st 2012, 07:39 PM

Me and my parents went out to Whitby today. But on the way there I started feeling a little bit sick, not sure whether it was caused by heat or travel, either way it couldn't have been helped. When we got there I felt so sick I was shaking and felt very weak. My dad, as usual, got a bit annoyed when he found out. I thought it was going to pass by the time we got to the town center, but it didn't and I continued to feel ill for the entire trip.

Because of that, my poor dad stayed with me the entire time. I could only manage a few minutes inside one shop, and that was my fave shop down there. I feel particularly bad about that bit because I really wanted to look at the stuff, and my dad was going round saying 'look at that' when he saw something he knows I would like, but I couldn't even think about looking around.

So me and him spent most of the trip stood outside whilst my mam looked around. I feel like my pathetic body has totally ruined his day... at the time I tried everything I could to make myself better, but nothing worked. Now I feel like I should have been less selfish and ignored how I was feeling, it's not like I actually ended up being sick.

My mam got annoyed at the price of the food, which wouldn't have been a problem if we had brought it all at the same shop, but no, we couldn't because my digestive system was giving me hell. My dad got annoyed because my mam was annoyed, and then my mam got even more annoyed... I can't stand being around her normally so you can probably imagine how it was for me. We've been home since 4pm now, and even my brother knows somethings wrong, and he came in at 5.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is I feel like all of this could have been prevented if I wasn't feeling sick.. I've went back to punching and cutting myself because I feel I need to be punished for it.. but it's not enough. I feel like I deserve to die because I've ruined the day, and my dad really deserved to have a good day. And now he's depressed again... I need advice on how to deal with this, i feel so guilty





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Chuuya Offline
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Re: Feeling like it's all my fault - August 31st 2012, 08:34 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry that the day didn't go as well as you planned, but you can't feel like it's your fault, sickness isn't something that we can always stop, it happens to everyone. It wasn't your fault that the day didn't go so well. About a year ago, a similar thing happened to me, only my mom just took me home and she was kind of annoyed because of the gas and the waste of time, but it wasn't my fault, I couldn't help being sick, and neither can you. I know it's discouraging when our parents get upset and annoyed over it, but try not to let it bother you too much. It wasn't your fault at all.

You don't deserve to die or hurt yourself because the day didn't go well, it was an unfortunate accident, and it happens once and while, you just have to do your best to move on. You might try going and spending time with them, try maybe watching a movie. Next time if something goes wrong, try using alternatives instead of hurting yourself. Watch a funny movie, do something you're passionate about it, listen to music, go for a run, or talk to a few friends. Here's a list of alternatives that might be of some help: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/ Just go through the list and try out a few and see if any of them help. If they don't, just keep trying until you do find one that works for you!

I also recommend talking to someone you trust about it, you might even talk to your parents about how you're feeling, tell them that you feel bad and you didn't want the day to go badly. I bet they will understand, they're your parents and they love you no matter what. Sometimes getting our feelings out to people who support us is all that we need.

I really hope that I helped a bit, feel free to send me a message if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'll always be happy to help! Good luck and take care!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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Flora Offline
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Re: Feeling like it's all my fault - September 1st 2012, 05:41 PM

Thanks for the quick reply, I really needed someone to comfirm whether or not it was my fault. I still feel a little guilty about it, and I was thinking about apologising to my dad to see if he would say anything.

On a brighter note, everything seems to be back to normal. My dad seems happy again, and I've managed to steal a bit of mother-daughter time with my mam, which I hardly ever get. We went to the local carnival together, and it seems to have lifted her mood a bit. I feel I kind of made it up to her, even if it wasn't entirely my fault.

And about talking to someone about all this, I start sixth form 'properly' on Wednesday, and I'm not sure whether I should maybe go and meet their counsellor... In my secondry school I became depressed in year 10, and never really got back to normal. I refused to see the consellor until my last month of year 11, and only then because it was affecting my work. I never told her about SH or anything like that incase she told someone. I hadn't done it for the whole summer before now, I thought I was over it. Clearly I'm not. I'm just not sure whether I should continue counselling, as I didn't really achieve much in the short time I had before.





“There are wounds that never show on the body that are deeper and more hurtful than anything that bleeds.”

   
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Chuuya Offline
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Re: Feeling like it's all my fault - September 1st 2012, 06:01 PM

No problem at all! I think you should try talking to the counselor at sixth form, I know you said you didn't achieve much with another counselor, but this will be a new one, and maybe it will be different? It never hurts to try, you know?

I don't know how long you talked to this other counselor but maybe it wasn't enough time for you to make much progress? It does take time to get over things like this, and I'm sure you can, just keep your chin up. Good luck!


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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