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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Chewy Offline
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Unhappy Suicide - September 4th 2012, 02:25 PM

My name is Skye and I live in South Africa. I am seeing a therapist, but I don't think that its helping. I cut and use drugs. My best friend told a teacher that I cut, and the teacher told my parents.

A month ago I attempted suicide by taking an overdose. I thought that it would make everyone's life better if i died. I collapsed at school and was rushed to hospital.

I have lost LOTS of weight in the past month because I haven't been eating. The reason I do all these things is because of my family. They don't care. They prefer my sister... My dad abuses me and my mom left. I now have a pregnant step-mom who is quite nice.

I dunno what to do with myself anymore. I just want to DIE!!!!!!!!!
   
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Re: Suicide - September 4th 2012, 03:25 PM

Your post broke my heart. Listen hun, you are amazing and killing yourself isn't the way to deal with this. 5 weeks ago today, I OD thinking that everyone would be better off if I wasn't here. Killing yourself isn't the way to deal with our troubles. As hard as it can get life is a beautiful thing worth living.

I am here if you ever need to talk! <3
   
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Re: Suicide - September 5th 2012, 12:44 AM

Hi there Skye,

Firstly, well done for coming to us here at Teenhelp. I know that it can be really scary talking to people and reaching out for help and I think you've done incredibly well coming to us and being honest with us so well done. You should be really damn proud of yourself for it.

I also think it's good that you're seeing a therapist even though you don't feel like it's helping you. Can I ask in what way you don't feel like its helping? If you feel its the way you're both working together, maybe you can talk to your therapist about it and you can both plan on how you're going to work together in the future to make your sessions more beneficial for you. How long have you been seeing your therapist for and what kind of things do you go through in your sessions?

I am wondering what you get out of cutting? I know people use self harm for different reasons such as wanting the pain or feeling they deserve it need to punish themselves but I want to know your reason. How do you feel cutting yourself helps you? And the same for the drugs. Tell us a little more about why you behave in this way and how it helps you or if you even feel it does help you. Have you tried looking at our list of alternatives to self harm? If not maybe that'd be a good thing for you to do. I'm not going to say everything on that list will help you because it won't. But there will be ones which do, its just about trial and error so don't give up when you come across things that don't help. Keep on trying new ones.

How do you feel about your friend telling you teacher? I think I would be annoyed a little but I hope you understand that she probably did it because she was worried about you and wanted to help you get the support you need. And your teacher had an obligation to make sure you're well and safe and she needed to inform your parents. Can I ask how your parents have re-acted to knowing you self harm and if your school has helped put any support in place for you etc?

Overdoses are painful, I know that and I can understand the thought patterns of thinking it would make everyones life better but it honestly wouldn't. It would have a bad affect on the people around you. People who go through losing a loved one to suicide question a lot. Why did they do this, was it my fault, why didn't I realise what was going on and so on. Its hard for people to cope with that. And not just your family and friends but even kids in your school who just see you in the corridor and the teachers and even us here. A person committing suicide leaves a lot behind for those who are left to pick up the pieces. And by no means am I saying you should fight through this for those around you, you need to beat this for yourself, but I want you to know that other people would not be better of with out you. You're loved and cared about, a lot.

Can I ask why you think your family prefer your sister? What has gone on to make you think this? Have you told anyone about the abuse you suffer from your dad? I know talking to people about it can be hard but I also know that if you do talk to someone about it, they can help you. That you won't be left to fight this alone. I am sorry about your mum leaving you. I can understand that must be really hard for you all. Do you get on well with your step mum? Is she someone you can perhaps talk to about everything that is going on for you right now?my mom left. I now have a pregnant step-mom who is quite nice.

I know this is hard for you but you have your whole entire life ahead of you and things can and they will get better. But don't be alone in this. Talk to people and let them support and help you through this hard time. Whether that's us here at teenhelp, your friends, family or even a teacher or school nurse etc. People care about you and they can help you if you let them in. You're worth a lot and you're loved and cared for. Don't give up, you have so much potential and you can do anything if you set your mind to it.

Keep smiling,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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