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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Audree Elizabeth McCray
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Unhappy Why Did I Do It? - September 7th 2012, 12:50 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I open another bottle,
this one has a white lid an orange container.
I pour its contents out onto my bed.

I just stare at them for what seemed like hours,
I pick the first one up and put it to my lips,
I say a silent prayer and insert it into my mouth,
then I put another in,
then another then another, until I can't put any more in my mouth,
I gulp it all down using the liquor to wash it down.
*i hate being alive anymore i thought things was getting better but thay aint they got worse everyone is telling me the same thing*oww everything will get better we promise lovely* its all fucken bullshit


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Re: Why Did I Do It? - September 7th 2012, 08:05 PM

hey, what's going on in your life? If you want to talk to someone im here.
   
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Audree Elizabeth McCray
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Re: Why Did I Do It? - September 9th 2012, 02:36 AM

im done i just took pills and drank beer im worthless well thanks everyone


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Re: Why Did I Do It? - September 9th 2012, 06:05 PM

Hey Audree,

It's clear that things are difficult for you right now, and I know that hearing the same thing over and over again and yet finding yourself back in a bad place can make you lose a bit of faith in recovery, but it is possible and it wont always be like this. The thing you seem to have been missing when people tell you it can get better, is ways to help yourself or get help from others. Honestly, it's hugely important when you're struggling so much to reach out and find people to support you, because doing this on your own is insanely difficult. It's not impossible to over come this on your own, but it's a lot harder and no doubt will cause you a lot more problems, and you really don't deserve that.

If you have just taken the pills and drank something, I urge you to get yourself to the hospital and get some medical attention for this. It's not a healthy thing to have done, which I'm sure you know, and it was in no way the right choice to make. You're not worthless in the slightest and by hurting yourself, you're hurting others who completely disagree with your opinion of yourself. As a human you have as much worth as anyone else. You are alive and that's a big enough reason to be happy with who you are and your life, and not to throw it away. You have time to find some help and get yourself physically better so you can start to become emotionally better and I really, really hope you take the chance to do that.

I don't know what has happened to lead you to what you say you've done, but I want you to understand that nothing is ever a good enough reason to harm yourself. You're worth a hell of a lot more than anything that has upset you and you deserve to live. You should never, never make the decision to harm yourself permanently over a problem which can be, and is, temporary. Please try to get the help, you deserve it, and next time you get the urge to hurt yourself, remember to breathe. One of the best pieces of advice I've heard today is to just breathe, because everything else is optional. Regardless of how hard it is ti avoid the temptations to do something harmful, it's optional, and it's avoidable. Just breathe.

I hope this has helped and I really hope you manage to find yourself some support.
Take care,
Hollie.


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
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Re: Why Did I Do It? - September 11th 2012, 04:22 PM

Hey, Hollie is completley right. It is extreamly difficult to tdo this on your own. I myself have gone through periods of self harm, and was once stopped litally seconds before i oded on pills. I know how lonely and it is and I know what it feels like to feel worthless. Please talk to someone, because someone does care about you. If you dont think anyone around you cares then talk to me or Hollie. Audree you are loved, and you are worth so much more than you think. Please PM me
   
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