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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Guitar LvL Legendary's Avatar
Name: Court Reeves
Age: 22
Gender: Male
Location: Texas, USA

Posts: 20
Join Date: August 29th 2012

I was used the whole time, i need advice - September 11th 2012, 02:25 AM

I've loved this girl for three years. She ignored me for six months because she found someone else because i was to slow. Then she started talking to me after i wrote a letter to her. She said she liked me and i told her i did to. For four months she tried to decide who she like more. Me or him. He beat me. Then i told her i couldnt talk to her because she needed to talk to her boyfriend. Two weeks later i told her i was sorry. She was pissed. For a week things seemed normal. When school started she said that things were complicated between us. We talked about it. Afterwards she didnt talk to me for a week. Today she told me something that broke my heart a third time.
She told me that she dosent want to talk to me anymore, that im awkward. She said she used me for those three years. She has had a troubled life so i always gave her advice and told her it would be ok. She told me that was the only reason why she would talk to me. Just because i could ease her pain. She said she doesnt need me anymore. She threw me away for good.
Were those years a lie? She used me the whole time. I truly loved her. But now, im destroyed. It was bad enough that she wont talk to me. But now she said that she used me. That whole time. Was it all a lie? Im alone in this. What the fuck am i supposed to do. I cant stop thinking about her. I was her puppet. She can destroy me and put me back together. My heart has been broken three times by her. I cant take another one. Its not fair. Why did this happen to me? Why is love so twisted when its supposed to be good? Its like i never existed in her eyes. All those nights i spent with her helping her, was just for her benefit. To tell me that she used me this whole time, is just cruel. Is this all there is in love? Its not fair. Now i truly cant get up. Not by myself. I dont know what its like for someone i love to help me. To tell me it will be ok. Its so messed up. I have to see them together every day. I, i cant take it anymore. I desperately need love. I cant get up anymore without help. I have nothing now. Just myself and my guitar. Thats the only thing i look forward to. I dont have many friends. Only 2. I cant do this alone anymore. I want someone to love me so badly. The other girls think that im ugly and weird. Yet im the nicest guy out there. Im friend-zoned by every girl. Its not fair. Someone needs to tell me what the fuck to do. I my hearts been broken three times in three years. There is only so much pain i can take. I cant take anymore.
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lilmissdontwannabehere's Avatar
Name: Lex
Age: 22
Gender: Female

Posts: 238
Blog Entries: 7
Join Date: December 17th 2010

Re: I was used the whole time, i need advice - September 11th 2012, 04:45 PM

Hey Court, did it feel good to get all that out? I understand that you have been hurt, I know how bad it can feel when someone you love doesn't love you back, but to find out you were used by that same person, I can't say i completly understand. Have you tried writing a song about this? I have found that writing can really help you cope with pain and even more importantly work through. I am the same age as you so I don't mean to sound like a therepist, but it actually works. On the issue about what the girls think of you just let it roll past you, try not to pay attention to it. Because in the end it won't matter what they think because you will be off at college or at work with an extreamly lucky girlfriend who saw something special in you and acted on it. Nobody reallly needs to tell you what to do because you will figure it out, trust me. And you really shouldn't have to take the pain anymore. PM me if you want,-Lexie
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