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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
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suicidal - September 15th 2012, 09:32 PM

I feel incredibly depressed. All the bad feelings are back stronger than ever. I really want to kill myself i've been drinking to make me feel better. I've been unable to sleep properly. I can't cope with sixth form. I don't know what to do.


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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Palmolive Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 15th 2012, 09:43 PM

Hi there :-)

Firstly, well done for coming to us. I know that reaching out and telling people how it is can be really hard and I think you have done really well to come and tell us what's going on.

You say you feel depressed. Can I ask what you feel inside? Do you know of anything that is making you feel this way? You don't have to talk to us about anything that you don't want to but I want you to know that if there is something bothering you, we're more than happy to listen to you and to try and support you in some way. Sometimes just talking about things can be really useful and can help us feel a lot better in ourselves. Feeling depressed isn't nice at all and I can understand that but it's important you know this feeling won't stay forever.

Do you know what has brought all the bad feels back, even stronger than ever? Has something happened to trigger these strong feelings you are experiencing? Do you honestly think you're gaining anything from drinking? I know in the short term you may think it helps but in reality it doesn't. Its not solving the problem but it is creating a new issue as well as not solving the underlying problem that is making you feel the way you are feeling.

What are you going to get out of killing yourself? Yes, you'd be dead so you wouldn't have to feel this way, but if you keep on living, you also don't have to feel this way forever and therefore with choosing life, you have a chance to live and be happy. If you choose death, you choose nothingness and emptiness and I think that's a dark place to have to go to over life.

How is your bedtime routine? Do you get to be at a reasonable time and wake up at a reasonable time? Do you go to bed and get up roughly the same time every day? Are you getting physical exercise? Are you eating well? Are you avoiding caffeine in the evenings and nights? Do you read or watch tv etc before bedtime?

What is it about sixth form that you feel you can't cope with? It might help to talk through the problems with school and see if we can find a way to prevent those problems or find a way to help you learn to manage the problems and you emotions and thoughts around the situations.

I know this is hard right now but I also know that if you find ways to learn to manage and to cope with what's going on for you right now and you work hard and stay determined, that you can get through this and reach the other side and be happy to be alive and well.

I hope this helps in some way and I hope things start to get better for you.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: suicidal - September 15th 2012, 09:53 PM

Hey,
Sorry your feeling like this. Its not a nice feeling and I’m glad that your posting this because it means that you want help.

Sixth form is hard but so will be many things in life, think about working to being that person you dream of having the job you want..

Don’t give up. Stay strong and talk when you need help.


One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure its worth watching.


Memento mori - Remember you must die

Memento Vivere - Remember to live

Carpe diem - Seize the Day


“Man cannot discover new oceans unless he has the courage to lose sight of the shore.” -Andre Gide
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 01:08 AM

U have taken the 1st step letting someone know,,, do you have someone to support you.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 01:14 AM

You took the first step of asking for help so well done there.
You can talk to me anytime about whatever you wanna talk about.
Do you have anyone that will support you?
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 09:18 AM

I feel angry and afraid. And then I feel sad. And then empty. And then sometimes I feel happy, but it's not happiness. I can't think straight. I feel crazy. And I still want to hurt myself I'm just not crying. People say that it's like I've taken drugs when I feel like that but I haven't. And then I go back to feeling angry or anxious and then I end up feeling empty and alone again.

I went back to school. I hate school. I have to be around people who hate me. My last relationship was emotionally abusive and I have to face him and his friends at school every day. The workload is too much already and I'm finding it all so hard. I found last year incredibly difficult as well and I don't actually know how I got through it. I almost didn't.

When I drink I feel happy. The more I drink the less things matter. I don't want to be sober I hate being sober. When I drink I can eat better. I can talk to people. I don't feel anxious. I can just have fun. Plus if I didn't drink I wouldn't be included in the group, and I need my friends. I have no one else without them.

I've been fighting for so long to be happy. This all started about nine or ten years ago. It's exhausting. And it's not happening. I'm not feeling better. I'm just getting worse. What's the point in fighting? What's the point in keeping going?

I've been trying to have good routines for sleeping. Turning off the computer and the TV, reading nonfiction with pictures to calm my mind instead of novels which you can't put down, drinking mint tea, or milk, anything without caffeine, avoiding painkillers with caffeine in after about 3 PM, opening windows, closing windows, using hot water bottles, changing my bed clothes, praying, I don't know what's left to try. Doctors can't help because it doesn't happen all the time. It's not insomnia. But I take ages to fall asleep or I wake up constantly through the night or I wake up at the crack of dawn and can't go back to sleep. And when I am sleeping I have dreams that then haunt me all through the next day, week, month.

I'm so tired of living. I don't want to be tired of living. What's the point in it if there's no pleasure?


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 09:47 AM

Hey mate,

Don't give up, there are so many who love you on here and we all want to see you pull through to the other side!

I know how hard it is to keep fighting, and I don't know what year 6th form is but it WILL get better!

Keep strong!

Jay. (I'm here if you would like to talk it out).


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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 09:49 AM

Sixth form is year 12 and 13. I'm in year 13, so it's my last year of school. How will it get better? It's just going to get harder. I'm going to be an adult on my own in the world trying to do university and get a job and I'll move away from everybody. It's going to get harder and harder.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 09:56 AM

Wow it only goes up to year 12 here :/

Listen, univeristy will have so many new experiences and new people there, people who don't know you and can't judge you. You can make new friends and keep in touch of old friends.


Just take it a day at a time, don't stress about things you don't know about yet. Just keep strong.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 10:03 AM

If I even survive this year. Last year I attempted suicide in October, I was struggling so badly. I've already tried to over dose this year.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 10:11 AM

Something is keeping you hear. You've tried twice but you are STILL here!

You're amazing! You know that? You help so many and you're going to help so many more with your stories. Stay positive.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
Evanesco Offline
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Re: suicidal - September 16th 2012, 10:24 AM

I'd tried more than twice but I'm just a coward and I never manage to do it properly.


Join the Skeleton Clique on TH
Do you wanna come with me? 'Cause if you do, then I should warn you - you're gonna see all sorts of things. Ghosts from the past. Aliens from the future. The day the Earth died in a ball of flame. It won't be quiet, it won't be safe, and it won't be calm. But I'll tell you what it will be: The trip of a lifetime!

Don't trust a perfect person and don't trust a song that's flawless.
RIP Granddad Terry. I'll miss you.
   
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