TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives

You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Cora Offline
Daydreamer
Not a n00b
**
 
Cora's Avatar
 
Name: Cora
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Winchester

Posts: 76
Join Date: July 13th 2012

I have to die - September 17th 2012, 01:48 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Today at school, a receptionist made me take off some makeup and then told my mum after the headteacher commented on it. He hates me and always has, always targeting me for makeup. This receptionist told my mum in really gossipy tones and then preached about how young girls don't need makeup. I was coming home from school sick, so my mum told me that I had been stupid and couldn't wear makeup for the rest of the year (my last year) when she was driving me home.
It doesn't sound like much but no one in the whole school has ever seen me without makeup and the idea of having to go into school without it is literally making me want to kill myself.
As soon as we got home and my mum left I think I had some kind of breakdown. I was crying and screaming and hitting things, praying aloud to God to help me, at several points I collapsed on the floor from sheer exhaustion.
With me now, I have about fifty acai berry tablets, a packet of nurofen plus and some ibruprofen but around the house I probably have some more miscellaneous pills and cleaning products that I could use to kill myself.
I have the rest of today off alone and I'm going to try and convince my mum to let me have tomorrow off too.
Basically, I have until tomorrow evening to decide whether to live or die.


"I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it."
— Alexander McQueen

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Adam the Fish Offline
The Skittlemeister.
I can't get enough
*********
 
Adam the Fish's Avatar
 
Name: Adam
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Location: Bristol

Posts: 2,343
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: August 24th 2012

Re: I have to die - September 17th 2012, 02:52 PM

Hold on in there

This is makeup. I completely understand that you're upset, and I would have to agree that makeup in school is fine so long as it's not excessive - and I doubt that yours could be considered "excessive".
But...well, it is just makeup. If someone at school picks on you unfairly, that's really not on - but, well...that's life, it happens. You need to get on.

Whatever your mum said, I'm guessing you two are probably pretty close, which is why it hurts so much that she told you off without really thinking about what she was saying properly. But, seriously, talk to her.
Be completely honest. Tell her how you feel, and - if you're ready - let her know that you considered harming yourself.
If you can, I'd also recommend speaking to a councillor - it's really great that you've come here for help, well done, but TH can't recreate telling someone in real life. Similar to TH, however, a councillor will not judge you - he or she will also have to keep anything you confide in them anonymous and confidential.

I really hope you pull through this, if you want to talk to someone privately, I'm always open .


Skittlify me up...
Adam the Fish | 26/08/12 | 08/10/12 | 02/12/12 | 09/02/13 | 01/06/13 | 30/08/13 | 25/11/13
...spreading happiness and joy around the Internet!
...well, I try, anyway. .......................
private message.visitor message.profile.email
"May we always remember that we are the rainbow."
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Cora Offline
Daydreamer
Not a n00b
**
 
Cora's Avatar
 
Name: Cora
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Winchester

Posts: 76
Join Date: July 13th 2012

Re: I have to die - September 17th 2012, 03:25 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael98 View Post
Hold on in there

This is makeup. I completely understand that you're upset, and I would have to agree that makeup in school is fine so long as it's not excessive - and I doubt that yours could be considered "excessive".
But...well, it is just makeup. If someone at school picks on you unfairly, that's really not on - but, well...that's life, it happens. You need to get on.

Whatever your mum said, I'm guessing you two are probably pretty close, which is why it hurts so much that she told you off without really thinking about what she was saying properly. But, seriously, talk to her.
Be completely honest. Tell her how you feel, and - if you're ready - let her know that you considered harming yourself.
.
Ideally, I wear quite alot of makeup to school, but because of the headteacher's comments, I have toned it down more and more until it is about the same as everyone else, but he still remarks on it.
It isn't my mum telling me off that's making me need to do this: I cannot face my friends seeing me without makeup. It would destroy me, worse than dying. I can't talk to my mum about it, for a long time we had a terrible relationship and telling her this would ruin what we have now.
I honestly think I'm having some kind of mental breakdown.


"I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it."
— Alexander McQueen

   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Cora Offline
Daydreamer
Not a n00b
**
 
Cora's Avatar
 
Name: Cora
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Winchester

Posts: 76
Join Date: July 13th 2012

Re: I have to die - September 18th 2012, 07:26 AM

I feel a little better today, but I still have the pills and I'm still terrified.


"I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it."
— Alexander McQueen

   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Validity Offline
Member
I can't get enough
*********
 
Validity's Avatar
 
Name: Jay
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: In the deep, dark, treacherous place called my mind. Oh and Australia!

Posts: 2,459
Blog Entries: 23
Join Date: August 23rd 2012

Re: I have to die - September 18th 2012, 07:47 AM

Hello there,

Listen, my friends and I are like this, hell, even my mother is. But the truth is, mkeup only brings out the natural beauty and boasts it. I bet you look amazing without makeup and you don't have to feel insecure about others seeing you without makeup. Just, perhaps leave it for a while and then put a little bit of foundation and mascara on, something minute which can go unnoticed for a bit. I've been wearing makeup for weeks and my friends only noticed today :P

Stay strong,
Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Cora Offline
Daydreamer
Not a n00b
**
 
Cora's Avatar
 
Name: Cora
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Winchester

Posts: 76
Join Date: July 13th 2012

Re: I have to die - September 18th 2012, 11:05 AM

I know I look bad without it, but it's more that not showing anyone is my way of protecting myself from everyone and I can't cope with not having any. To be honest, I could cope with just some foundation and mascara and my headteacher might be okay with that (saying that, he usually picks on me even though I have less on than some people, just because I am a suspect for wearing alot), but now my mum won't let me wear ANY for school and I'm really scared.


"I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it."
— Alexander McQueen

   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Cora Offline
Daydreamer
Not a n00b
**
 
Cora's Avatar
 
Name: Cora
Age: 21
Gender: Female
Location: Winchester

Posts: 76
Join Date: July 13th 2012

Re: I have to die - September 18th 2012, 06:22 PM

I'm feeling better now, I have tomorrow off school again (I think!) so I'll try and stay strong even though I'm buy myself. I still have the pills and can't bear to get rid of them, but I don't think I'll need them x


"I think there is beauty in everything. What ‘normal’ people would perceive as ugly, I can usually see something of beauty in it."
— Alexander McQueen

   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
breakdown, death, die, freedom, makeup, overdose, pills, suicide

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright ©1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.