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Evanescent Offline
Love Is The Movement
I've been here a while
Evanescent's Avatar
Name: Nicole (Nikki)
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 1,697
Blog Entries: 6
Join Date: January 29th 2009

:( - September 22nd 2012, 11:34 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I'm in the hospital, once again for suicide, I've been here for two weeks and one day. This is actually the first hospital I have been in where they have a computer we can use. It's mainly for checking e-mails but I couldn't help but get on TH. Things went way down hill again. One of my very best friends walked into her house and found her brother dead, it was quite a shock to me so I know it completely came by suprise to her. I am worried about her. Her and her mom went to Virginia for a few weeks to try to get away, I don't even think they had a funeral for him. Nobody even had the slightest clue except for him. When I first heard I thought they were going to say it was suicide but there was no notes or pills or anything. Then they found out that he had went to the doctor earlier that day and the doctor told him he was going to die so he went and got all of his money out of the bank and everything he had and left it to his mom. Like I said I'm worried about her but there's not much I can do while I am in the psych-ward. I ended up here because I started cutting again, I had gone almost 4 months without doing it and I did it because I was trying to put off the suicide attempt by self-harming. Well that didn't work, my case-manager figured out that I was going to kill myself that night and now I am here. My parents want to put me back into long term residential treatment. They say that they can't keep me safe and the only place I am safe is somewhere where I have someone watching me 24/7, and hosestly I think they are right. The only way to end all the pain I am in is to commit suicide. I'm going to keep trying until I succeed, and it's not because I want to, it's because I know that it's the only way that I can be okay.

"Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll land among the stars."

"For those who don't care, for those who can't see, never give up, always thrive to be free."

Smile, you are beautiful www.operationbeautiful.com

Blessed Be!
Nicole AKA Nikki
Artist, Poet, and Future Social Worker
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