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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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TheQuietGirl Offline
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Pressure is Off - September 25th 2012, 07:45 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I've learned that nobody gives two hoots about me. That certainly takes the pressure off in the event I do end this ridiculous existence.

Okay. There are *maybe* two people in total who would care. And those people are my friends from the Internet. My family would be sad at first, but I'm sure they would get over it fast enough. My three sisters don't treat me like part of the family anyway, and my parents have other kids to take care of. What's one less?

A current example. Today, I came into school feeling like I was going to throw up. So I walking as quickly as I could to the bathroom, and my two friends walk out. They say hi, and I pass quickly saying "I do not feel well" and run into the bathroom. They just smiled, gave this little laugh, and left. I was in the bathroom for about 15 minutes, and they never came back. So I ran across the street to the nurse, and ended up going home.

She's now texting me sass-ing me because I brought it up, making up excuses and trying to turn it around and blame me.

I have other reasons, but that would take too long. Moral of this story, nobody cares about me. Online people seem to, but that's probably because there is something seriously messed up with me that you only notice when you hang out with me in real life. I don't know.

But I'm turning numb to everything, and I'm just done. I don't know what to do. All I know is that the pressure is off, because nobody would care if they woke up to me dead tomorrow.


   
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Re: Pressure is Off - September 25th 2012, 08:18 PM

Please don't do that, it'll get better with time. Your family probably does care about you and just doesn't know how to express it. People in school can be mean though, it doesn't mean there's something wrong with YOU. As for online friends, that means lots of people like your personality and who you are. As people in real life judge you before they even know you. You are a beautiful and unique person that deserves to live. So live. If things can change and get this bad, they can also change to be better again. Just give it time. Do things you enjoy doing and maybe the numbness will go away. Talk to friends online about how you're feeling.

Your life IS worth something, and someday you'll have someone really special in your life that makes it all worth it. You're a special person, Abigail, even if you don't believe it you are. Everybody finds a place in this world.

If you ever need a friend to talk to or feeling numb/sad, you can PM/VM me if you want and I'll try to help you out. Good luck hun. I care about you.
   
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Re: Pressure is Off - September 25th 2012, 08:33 PM

There must be something wrong with me if so many people are having issues. I doubt I'll have someone special. No guy in their right mind would fancy me. And my friends all ditch me.
And everything does get worse. They said it won't get worse, fell off a horse and lost some eye-sight. Couldn't get worse, had to have knee surgery on my bone because it was disintegrating. Now this.

And I'm really not that special. See, when online people say that though.. It doesn't make sense. How do you know me?

Thanks though, it means a lot <3


   
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Re: Pressure is Off - September 25th 2012, 08:36 PM

I read your about me. You like helping people and your future intentions are very nice. And because, everybody is special in their own way.
   
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