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I hate who I am - September 26th 2012, 01:05 AM

I absolutely hate who I am. Whenever I look in the mirror, I expect to see someone else, but see this ugly and hideous being looking back at me. People used to say that I looked relatively good, up until last year when I got really stressed, lost a ton of sleep, and was plagued with acne. Now I have permanent creases under my eyes and terrible skin. I tell myself that looks don't matter, but they do! I'm received differently at school and I just don't know what to do. How can I change my outlook of myself? Why do I have to be so freakin' ugly! Ugh! Please help.
   
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Re: I hate who I am - September 26th 2012, 11:21 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry your view of yourself if so negative right now; I can identify with that a lot. First of all though, the word ugly is an extremely strong, subjective word. In my personal opinion, nobody on earth is ugly. We all have things that aren't perfect, but along with that we all have things which are beautiful, and all of these make who we are, and that'd good enough.

Stress can understandably make you look tired and affect certain things, but in no way does it change: a) who you are, and b) the fact that you're beautiful regardless. My advice to you here is to make sure that you're living a healthy lifestyle so that the stress doesn't get ontop of you again int he future. Ensure you're getting enough sleep, eat a balanced diet, exercise, drink plenty of water. Making sure you're healthy may help your skin and make you look generally brighter and healthier.

If you're received differently at school, those who have changed their attitudes towards you are not worth it. Honestly, it's not even about what's on the outside, a friendship or relationship with anyone is based mainly on personality. You've probably heard the saying 'those who matter dont mind, and those who mind don't matter', and that's very relevant. You're exactly the same person as you always have been, and if people are turning a blind eye on that because you look a little tiny bit different to before, they're not worth your time! There are people who will treat you just as they did before, and those are the ones whose opinions you should listen to, because I bet they'll tell you you're great.

There are things, as I've said, that can help with the way you look, but I think this kind of thing is fairly typical in young people. At this part of our lives, we're going through changes and we're exposed to many stressful experiences. A lot of people, for example, suffer with acne in their teenage years, and I myself have creases under my eyes and ALWAYS look sleep deprived! Don't let it affect the way you look at yourself. It's not as uncommon as you think it is and you have a right to still feel confident in your own skin even while you're going through this. Try not to use the word 'ugly' or anything to describe yourself, because it's really and truly not correct. It's such a strong word and you really are beautiful regardless of flaws and imperfections.

I hope this has helped, if you need anything at all, feel free to shoot me a message and I'll be happy to give you a hand.

Take care,
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Re: I hate who I am - September 26th 2012, 11:27 AM

Firstly I welcome you to the site we are glad to have you here.

Secondly, nobody is ugly, you may of changed but so what, I'm guessing you are still a teenager and that is what happened when we hit puberty. We start to get acne, some get insomnia, but it'll all work itself out later. Enjoy your youth, because you only live once (well, if you don't believe in reincarnation and second lives and all that). Love who you are because you're going to be important to someone some day. nobody should be allowed to walk away if someone changes, physically, but they're not true friends if they do.

Keep strong,
Jay. (feel free to PM/VM me, I'm always around.)


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Re: I hate who I am - September 26th 2012, 11:29 PM

Thank you so much for your support. I really appreciate it!
   
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