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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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SouthernBelle. Offline
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Name: Anna
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Unhappy Just... It's not good. :( - October 29th 2012, 12:48 AM

I've been posting like mad lately.

But I just feel so depressed...

I don't want to get out of bed. I've done nothing for the past two weeks but go to school, come home, lay down, and watch TV. I just cleaned my room, and it was enough to make me cry, and I'd even had to work up my strength to do that much.

My grades are failing. I'm probably not going to make the National Honor Society like I thought I would; I got my first ever F. And I just don't have the strength to do my homework for the classes I have A's in. Dammit, I barely even have the strength to get out of bed to exercise anymore.

My friends are all drifting away. My best friend has a new girlfriend, and for all he knows, I could be laying dead in a street somewhere. My other best friend went behind my back to steal the guy I like; he'll barely look at me now, for her. My last best friend just miscarried in her first pregnancy, and she's... She's making me more depressed. And that was all the friends I had in the world, that I have the opportunity to talk to.

Despite the fact that I keep getting healthier and healthier (and I mean seriously healthier, not anorexic), my self esteem just keeps sinking lower and lower. I don't feel worth the clothes on my back. My hair is a mess, I feel like I constantly look like shit.

On top of all of this, I'm realizing how mediocre my life is. I live in the middle of nowhere, am involved in nothing in this place, I have no friends, no boyfriend, no job, no goals. No faith, no matter how hard I try to believe in God. And that makes me feel like my life is even more worthless. If there's no Heaven, then what's the point in living, if I'm just going to die and not exist anymore?

Nothing makes me happy anymore.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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Re: Just... It's not good. :( - October 29th 2012, 01:02 AM

Hey there,
I know how hard it is to manage to get the strength to do things through a depression. You should go and see a doctor and perhaps get prescribed something for it or even go to someone, whether it be an older person who you respect or even a therapist and talk about how you feel.

Depression is hard to come through, it really is, I suffered with it for around 3 years off and on and am now on a off period where I'm happy. But, it WILL get better. Keep striving to overcome it or take a break for a few days to recuperate.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
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My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

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Re: Just... It's not good. :( - October 29th 2012, 01:24 AM

I've already talked to my mom about it. We've scheduled plenty of appointments with my doctor, but for some reason something always seems to get in the way. Like tomorrow, when there's a blizzard predicted for our area, and last Friday, when we overshot the appointment by twenty minutes instead of fifteen.

I can't go on medication. I'm already depressed enough without not being afraid of suicide, too. It scares me. But, I'll talk to my doctor and see if there's a place I can go for professional help -- just someone to help me work through my problems.

Thanks for replying. It really means a lot to me.


Anna's Personal Keys to Happiness
1. Do what you want within the bounds of reason, whenever you want to, and regret nothing. 2. If you have an opinion, don't beat around the bush, or there isn't a point in saying it. 3. Don't keep the company of anyone who won't like you and will try to change you.



   
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Re: Just... It's not good. :( - October 29th 2012, 03:04 PM

Hey girl. I know how hard these things must be... I've been there. But I just want you to know that I'm a Christian, and that I do believe in Heaven and God, and especially Hell and the devil. All of the things that are happening to you are tragic and I'm so sorry... honest. But the best thing to do is get better, or try to. One of the things that make me feel better and good about myself is to literally read the Bible. (I'm not trying to shove religion down your throat, I just want to give you options.)
At first, I didn't know what to read, but then I saw that Proverbs has 31 chapters. Hint, a chapter a day, for a month.
But you can look stuff up on the internet to do, too. Like, I like to do crafts and make things. So I go on Pinterest and look up some DIY stuff for me to occupy my time with. What I'm saying with this is, find something that makes you happy, and do it when you feel really depressed.

I'm struggling right now, but I hope everything will be okay for you.(:
   
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