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cuttergirl17 Offline
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1 year of depression - November 6th 2012, 02:14 AM

About one year ago I started getting depressed, n over the coarse of about 4 months it got worse, I cut myself, I was a wreck, than my parents found out n they made me go do stupid therapy shit, finally I just said I was fine again and they backed off, the depression was off and on for awhile but now 1 year later it's just plain back again, and Now it's one year later... I rlly want to cut myself again, I dream of running away, I have to bite my wrist so no one can hear me crying, I cry a lot, and even tho ik I would never kill myself, I do have those thoughts... I'm at the point where I'm just gonna live my life whether I'm happy or sad or whatever, n keep all my feelings inside... It feels like I'm a dead soul trying to live a happy life... Yes it gets better at times but I believe this depression will always come back...always
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Re: 1 year of depression - November 18th 2012, 03:09 PM

Hey there

The thing about depression is that you need to deal with it instead of leaving it lying around. If it is not dealt with by you , it gets worse. Sometimes we are not able to deal with it on our own. But that is alright. There are people around us who can help us. But at the end of the day, we are the ones who can help ourselves. It is up to YOU to help yourself. Anyone else can only guide you on how to go about it. It is up to you to take other people's advice. And it is up to you to reach out and talk about how you are feeling.

What I'd like to ask you is why didn't you want to go tho therapy? Is it because you were afraid to talk about how you had been feeling? Or is it because you didn't like the therapist? If it is the former, then it is okay to be scared. There are ways to deal with this. What you can do is-

-Write a letter/e-mail instead of talking. This will help you to get all your feelings across without getting interrupted.

-Talk to your therapist on the phone instead of face to face. You can just ask them to listen and not say anything, you can discuss things during the next session.

-Find a place in the room to sit where you don't have to look at your therapist, ask them to not say anything until you are done talking about your feelings. And then, talk.

If you are not comfortable with the therapist that you had gone to, then try to go to someone else. It usually takes a bit of experimenting to find a therapist that you click with.

If you are not comfortable with talking to a therapist, then here is a list of people than you can talk to. People want to help you. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with seeking help. It is perfectly fine to do so. When you get stuck while doing homework, what do you do? Take help, isn't it? There is nothing to be shy about. You only get to learn about how to deal with the problem.

When you are sad, it is not the best idea to stay alone. So move out, make friends, make plans to go to the movies and concerts with them and do what you enjoy. Take up a project. You can join hobby classes such as dancing, drawing, cooking. It is also a great way to meet and socialize with new people. Or you can start volunteering somewhere if that makes you happy. The point is to keep yourself busy.

You haven't talked much about why you started feeling this way or why exactly you didn't like going to the therapist. You are always welcome to make another thread about it or PM me or any other Staff member about it. You can also use TH's other resources like HelpLINK and LiveHelp.

You can make it through this, you are strong enough. You must believe in yourself because at the end of the day, only you can help yourself. Not me, or any therapist or anyone on this site. We can show you the paths, it is up to you to choose between the different paths and decide which one will help you.

I hope that this helps.
Take care and stay strong.

"Words are, in my not so humble opinion, our most inexhaustible source of magic, capable of both inflicting injury and remedying it."

-Albus Dumbledore, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
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