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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Gidig Offline
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Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 6th 2012, 07:47 PM

Hey everyone!

If you're even looking at this topic, I hope that you are alright, and will be safe. I am in no way promoting suicide by any means. I am trying to understand it more thoroughly for a project I am doing for school. But if you are suicidal, please seek help, either through a professional or this site. I'm not on here very often, but please feel free to private message me if I can be of any help. <3

So, as I said I'm doing this for a project for school. And I am curious, what are the factors in your life that you feel contribute to suicidal feelings? I can list many myself, but I am curious as to all of your responses.

Thank you so much!
Maria. <3



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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 6th 2012, 09:15 PM

Hey there, seeing as I attemped 21 days ago, I think what mainly contributed was:
Crap from my mum,
abandonment issues,
PTSD,
anxiety disorders,
depression,
feeling worthless,
feeling like life just had no upside,
not being able to have any breaks to look after me,
and that I hated myself because I couldn't give up self harming.

Now though:
Dreading,
major changes happening,
taking too much on my shoulders
My BDD (body dismorphic disorder),
my empathy for others (I can actually feel their pain, no joke),
My weakness.

Jay.


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Last edited by Validity; November 7th 2012 at 02:04 AM.
   
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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 6th 2012, 09:23 PM

Hi there, I have borderline personality disorder, which, in my case, means I can become suicidal at the drop of a hat. I had an argument with my kinda ex kinda girlfriends dad on Sunday and now hehates me. Knowing that I've upset someone can trigger it, my parents and their lack of understnding about mental health is another one, people leaving, not answering calls, etc... Anything that leaves me feeling useless or unwanted or rejected. Or tough memories - those of my assault and abuse trigger them without fail. Also, my ed is triggering those thoughts at the moment... A friend managed to explain it quite well; After years of trying and trying to get rid of this voice you find yourself realising that there are two options – let the voice kill you, or get there before it does.

I'm fortunate enough to have survived my numerous attempts, and be having a better day with regard to those thoughts, hopefully others are too. Good luck with your project.
   
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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 7th 2012, 12:21 AM

Sometimes I just feel like a failure and think that it would be better to commit suicide rather than deal with it. So I guess a lot of it is a feeling of worthlessness and feeling like a failure.


   
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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 7th 2012, 12:52 AM

I always feel like killing myself, but my triggers that usually have influences on it are my parents, medication, self injury, and my eating disorder. Just life in general is exhausting.


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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 7th 2012, 12:58 AM

  • My mums illness (depression) and being a young carer for her. This included hospitlisations and suicide attempts
  • My dads breakdown to which he seriously attempted suicide
  • Having no contact with any of my mums family due to abuse
  • My sisters anorexia and being a carer for her
  • Because self harm only works so much
  • Because the guilt from eating is overwhelming
  • Because I hear voices that tell me too kill myself. And see it happen
  • Because I hardly sleep, I get so tired I don't know what to do
  • The flashbacks ans nightmares

I guess all of those things, more so together, make suicide seem like the best way out.


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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 7th 2012, 01:00 AM

I think suicide is ALWAYS an option. Whether you are a child or an adult in pain- you have a right to life and therefore a right to death, regardless of what ANYONE says.
   
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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 9th 2012, 11:03 PM

I have horrible nightmares that are awful, disorienting, and I wake up not knowing whether they actually happened or not.

To stop the nightmares is one reason.
So that I'll never have to get depressed again is another.
Because the future seems so bleak and pointless.
Because at times, for reasons I don't understand, I hate myself and feel I deserve to die.
There are monsters in my head. Not voices, not hallucinations, just dark places that feel like they're eating me alive.
Sometimes I genuinely believe I am evil.
The concept of death in my head is a peaceful one.

I think there are other reasons, too, but this is all I could come up with off the top of my head.
   
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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 10th 2012, 04:01 AM

For me, it's a wide mixture of things. This was a first for me--I was actually thinking about committing suicide about a half hour ago because I've just had enough crap from certain people--but I wanted to commit suicide to punish my parents. All my life, they've pushed me so much and I've done as much as I could to help them out--I practically raised my four younger siblings--and yet they can't do something as simple as listen to what I have to say. It's frustrating because I wouldn't be where I am if my parents would just take a moment and actually LISTEN to what I have to say and consider my views. If they didn't listen to me when I'm alive, what difference would it make if I was dead? Either way, I don't have a say.
   
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Re: Why do you feel suicide is an option? - November 11th 2012, 07:27 AM

I guess it's just mainly because I'm tired. And I also get the feeling people would be better off without me. They wouldn't have to worry about me or try to fix me anymore. I wouldn't accidentally hurt anyone anymore. It's just the only way out of hurt and pain.


I tell people i'm
tired. But in reality

i'm just sad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-4wU...C66B1A12A9745D


Never regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted


   
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