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A.J. Offline
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Unhappy Depression - November 14th 2012, 02:53 AM

God, well here it goes. I am new here so forgive me if i screw up. i need help on what to do. I'm tired of hurting people. No matter how hard i try i cant seem to make everyone happy. I got an f and d on my grade card. i told my parents that id try to make thing different this year and i was devastated when i found out i fail at something yet agian. my aunt hes gotten a divorce, my cousin was sent away to live with one of my uncles to be straightend out, i always tried to talk to him and hang out with him but i knew i shouldve tried harder to get his attention. now i feel horrible. . My uncle is gay but only me and my household family know about it, but if my other family knew that they would alienate him. my parents always talk about other family members situation yet they never seem to try to do anything about it. also my father and i have a strianed relation ship. we are soo different. my mom is always stressed at work, and they always say they love me but asks what happened to the old me? it tears me apart. i had anger issues, i was violent, then i held it in vowin to never let it out, but ive done it few times and its still eating me apart. i always try to help others and say have courage but lack that courage when it comes to emotions
   
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Re: Depression - November 19th 2012, 03:30 PM

Hey A.J,

You are trying your best, your very hardest and yet you are so hard on yourself? You should be proud that you are trying really really hard to excel in school and other things.

Do you know what is holding you back from being proud of try your very best?

What you do not everything will please that person. Lets say, I dislike fish and you gave me the fish not knowing I dislike fish and you surprise me with a fish to eat. I look at it and say, "I don't eat fish and I dislike it." Your down because you should of gotten something else. A.J not everything you do will satisfy others.

When you say, "No matter how hard i try i cant seem to make everyone happy." you don't need to make everyone happy. Like I said above not everyone likes the same thing so therefore wont make them 'happy' don't be hard on yourself if you can't fulfill their need to feel or be happy it's not your role to make others 'happy' sure you can help but it's their choice whether or not they want to feel happy.

Which brings me to my next question, do you feel in-control of your own feelings? What I mean is do you rely on others for your happiness? If you do, can you think of things that make you happy for yourself? If you don't rely on others for your happiness, how does that feel?

A.J your not responsible for how others feel and what happens in their own life. Yes, it can impact on your life but your not responsible for what happens to others only yours.

It's really amazing how you are able to help others, it shows a great deal of what kind of person you are. Can you describe yourself; caring, non-judgmental, etc.,? If not how do you feel about it?

Not being able to deal with your own emotions is okay, not many know how to handle their own emotions, maybe that is why you used to be violent? Trying to deal with those pent up emotions that you aren't sure how to handle? Have you thought of boxing or going to the gym or even school sports to help with those pent up feelings?

With regards to your grade card is there anyone at school you could go to for tutoring or even speak with your teacher(s) about extra help to understand the material better?

A.J do know your doing your best at what you have.


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Re: Depression - November 19th 2012, 04:18 PM

Welcome to TH

I noticed that everything you posted seemed to be really negative. Perhaps you could let us know the positive things going on in your life? What makes you happy, what do you enjoy to do, what things do you look forward to doing?

Holding in your anger isn’t the best idea, that could lead to you just breaking down one day. Working with anger management techniques is much healthier and you will start to feel better after a while of using them. Here is a really great list of idea to do when you get angry: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/ang...gement/MH00102




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