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Pants Offline
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Name: Anna
Age: 30
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Location: Chicago, IL, USA

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Join Date: December 24th 2010

I relapsed. - December 9th 2012, 10:59 PM

I live in a new city. I've been here for two months now, but since I haven't been able to find a job and I'm not in college, it's been extremely hard to make friends. It was fine for a while, because I had my roommate and my boyfriend. But my roommate left the state for a while, so I've been completely alone. My boyfriend's dad passed away a little over a week ago, so understandably he is emotional and sad and I haven't seen much of him.

He asked me before not to shut him out. Told me that that's what would hurt him the most. But I've been trying and trying to tell him lately how depressed I've been, how terrified and anxious and so, so sad. And last night, I relapsed - I haven't SHed since I was sent to the hospital in February, but now it's started again.

I tried telling him that I know he's going through a really, really difficult time and I'm trying hard not to be needy, but sometimes I need him too. And his response was that he's not in a place that he can be relied on and his family needs to come first. Which is fair. But where does that leave me?

I have no one here. And it's not fair to tell people far away what's going on because they'll panic because they know how serious my depression can be (I've been hospitalized twice for it). I'm lost and scared and hurting so much and I don't know where to turn.
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Re: I relapsed. - December 10th 2012, 02:05 AM

Hello Anna,

Moving to a new place is scary and can be very lonely. When I was 22 I did the same thing. Its to bad about what happened to your bf. What I would do is if you are lonely try telling your bf that you just want to hang out, even if its listening to music together or watching a movie. You don't have to talk about anything.
Have you started to look for a job? Even if its something part time at a local diner or the mall in your area, you might not be so lonely knowing you have a job to go to. The anxious and terrified feeling you have, believe me everyone gets that at some point in their life.
What are you into? Drawing, reading, writing, you can probably find somewhere to volunteer your time before you get a job, that helps as well. I've become friends with lots of people through volunteering.
Don't think of your relapse as bad, you have come on here telling people that's very courageous of you and I think you have it in you to wake up each day, smile and quietly say today is a new day, I can do this


Live, Laugh, Love

Don't Let Your Character Change Color With Your Environment, Find Out Who You Are And Let It Stay It's True Color - Rachel Scott
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