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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Kiuiv Offline
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Unhappy I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 08:46 PM

I dont see a point in living anymore... i don't have any friends i'm being bullied at school ( by a boy i used to like, but then i did something stupid like I always do... ) I'm so ugly, nothing will i do will make me look like models in the magazines and the girls in the movies.... there's no point in living if i can't be beautiful.. I'm a slut, i'm stupid ( My math grades are HORRIBLE, although I am good at science and english I just don't have the will to do it like I ussed too anymore so those grades are going down the drain. ) I don't even know my full times table I'm so retarded.. i hate myself so fucking much why can't I just die? I deserve all the cuts on my arm.My arms all fucked up from older cuts the newest one is small because i know cutting is bad. I'm in a outpatient day program for the cutting but it isn't helping AT ALL it's only making me worse..
nothing helps, not my antidepressants, not my therapist NOTHING.

i will never get better I should just kill my myself and spare myself years of torture, i can't take anymore of this. I just want to pick the lock on my dads gun closest/ get his key and shoot myself with his shotgun. I am seriously condsidering this, I started considering it on my school visit today IT WAS SO HORRIBLE. I'm relapsing but i'm worse then before because I'm 100% serious and not confused. The boy who helped me, who cut like me likes another prettier girl and now he isn't here to stop me from cutting or even killing myself because he is off hanging out with her and talking to her she is even skinnier then me.
You say it will get better but it won't.
I tried calling a suicide hotline but it just isn't helping i'm so scared.

This is a rant, please don't call me a attention seeker i'm very sick i've been dealing with depression for most of my life and I can't take it anymore.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Kiuiv Offline
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Re: I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 08:51 PM

I knew no one could help me.
why am I even looking for help? i should just go ahead and shoot myself already.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Thereishope Offline
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Re: I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 09:22 PM

If you want to talk about anything feel free to pm me or find me in chat..i'm sorry no one replied to you before.
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Blahhhh101 Offline
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Re: I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 09:39 PM

Suicide Is never the answer. Please do not take your life. You are beautiful just the way you are. Please do not let anyone put a lable on you. If you are being bulllied then tell someone you trust. There is a point to live. God gave you this life for a reason. There are ups and downs in life and you just have to find away past the downs. I'm here for you if you ever ned to talk pm me i'm always on.. Calling the suicide hotline might be a good thing. I know you are scared but I believe in you. I hope you can get through this and find hope to continue to live. I believe you can get past this and I have hope for you. I will be here for you.. Hang in there. Take care

Eva (:
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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
~Divergent~ Offline
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Re: I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 10:11 PM

Please, PLEASE don't commit suicide. You might not see it now, but you have too much to live for. Your life has barely begun, and you have lots of potential just waiting to be put to good use. You are worth so much in this world and you have so many people who care about you and would be devastated if you died. I know you might think that I'm wrong, that I can't possibly know, that no one would miss you - but I've found that people often care so much more than we could possibly imagine or that we can see with our own eyes. You might not be able to see it right now, but you have lots of people who care about you!

I really encourage you to just talk to someone. It doesn't have to be your therapist. It doesn't even have to be a family member. Just talk to SOMEONE. I can tell you from personal experience how much it helps to just talk. You don't have to ask this person to solve your problems for you and you don't even have to tell them everything, but it helps so much to know that someone else in the world knows what you're going through and that they're there for you if you need them.

You CAN do this, I promise. It isn't going to be easy, but it's possible. This isn't over! Since what's being done right now isn't working, you've just got to do something different: see a new therapist, try new medication, make new friends, talk to someone different. There's light at the end of this tunnel, I promise. Just think about your future, 5 or 10 or 15 years from now. You could be happily married with kids and a house and a dog and your dream job. That future is waiting for you around the corner - you just have to get through the muck first to reach it.

Good luck with everything, and stay strong, okay? <3 If you ever want to talk, please feel free to PM/VM me anytime. I'm always happy to talk. <3

Member since 9/27/12
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Last edited by ~Divergent~; December 30th 2012 at 10:27 PM.
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Kindred Offline
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Re: I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 10:15 PM

Breathe, darling. Sit down, count the number of green objects in the room around you, and keep breathing. In and out. Everything is going to be okay, I promise.

You know what? You are beautiful. I don't care what you look like, your soul is beautiful. It's taken a battering, it's been through a fight, and it has a long road ahead of it. But it will get there, y'know? Beauty isn't something that can be measured, or defined. It's in the eyes of the people who love us. I don't look like something out of a magazine. But that doesn't mean I'm not beautiful. My silly little quirks, the fact I have one eye bigger than the other? It makes me, me. And it makes you, you. I know that might not be what you want to hear right now, but just look at yourself. You're you. You're solid. You have a purpose, and no one is going to defeat me- you hear me? Good. Because you aren't giving up on me, no way.

You know yourself you aren't stupid. You have good grades in other subjects. Everyone is a genius, but try to get a fish to climb a tree and what will happen? Depression is going to make you feel like this. It is going to try to bring you down. It is going to focus on the negatives and shield your eyes from the positives. There are so, so many good things ahead of you, and so many things you have right now to be grateful for. You can't see them right now because this illness is acting like a blindfold. But you can beat this. You can open your eyes and shatter the illusion of helplessness. All you need to do is wake up.

Waking up is easier said than done. When I talk about waking up, I mean making a commitment to beat this. I mean talking to your therapist, talking to your friends, talking to your family, being strong, resisting the urges to self harm, WINNING this battle. Scars will fade, try not to make any more, and they'll fade even faster.

Keep your head up. You can do this, and feel free to PM me at anytime <3

Take as long as you need.
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
ESJ Offline
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Re: I just cut myself and i'm suicidal HELP - December 30th 2012, 10:28 PM

Honestly, suicide is never the right answer no matter what question is asked. Really. I know that it seems like the last thing left. But don't. We will all miss you. As they say:
Society: I hate that ugly slut.
Girl: commits suicide
Society:She was so beautiful and amazing.
Now, you are amazing in every way. Don't believe them- what they say isn't true.
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