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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Breathe~me Offline
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Exclamation Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 2nd 2013, 01:17 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm so freaking confused now because my life is perfectly fine, except I'm not
Externally (bullying, home life,school) everything is fine but internally (emotions,feelings,thoughts) I'm an emotional wreck
I carry all this emotional pain around everyday and hide it from everyone around me
because i know that if i told someone who cared about me it would make them concerned and worried
I really wouldn't want to make anyone be hurt or concerned from my pain since I care about them enough to want to only see them in happiness even if it means I'm stuck with a death wish
I don't think I can beat depression, and I've gotten so use to it that I don't know whats wrong with me but I dont think i want to anymore..

I just want an easy way out.
Where I can be happy.
Not trapped in a world that leaves me astray in a world that doesn't understand my pain


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 2nd 2013, 02:10 PM

Hi, sweetie
I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I think it's sweet that you care that much about others to keep all this to yourself. That shows a lot about your character and that's a reason to live. Even though things have gotta be tough, and I understand that, but you gotta keep all the good moments ahead in mind. You're 16 and you have your whole life ahead of you, you can do anything you want with it. In the future, you'll have the chance to marry the love of your life and feel loved, not lonely, you'll feel as things finally work. That's what love that do. You have the ability to create life with the person you love, and that's amazing and fascinating. Why throw away the opportunity? There are many reasons to live.

Can you speak to a therapist or counselor? It might help, plus, if you feel sucidal please call a hotline. Also, I know you don't want your family and people to be sad over this, but listen, do you think your family would want you to suffer in silence and be at risk of suicide? And wondering what they could have done? Sure they'll be upset, but it'll be a good chance of recovery if they knew, it could help you.

I'm always here for you as well. Stay strong <3 You can do this. I know it. There's a rainbow after the storm.

You're an amazing beautiful person and there's no one just like you, that makes you unique and special. Realize you're perfect in your own way and I see your beauty. So does everyone else. Please, suicide isn't the answer.

~ Christabel
   
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 2nd 2013, 09:54 PM

Hi,

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling. You can beat depression! That's the demons taking, they're saying you can't. But I know you can!

I really do think you should talk to someone. They may be worried, but that's because they care about you. You could start small, with depression and then tell them about how you're suicidal. I can promise you talking about it really does help.

You don't deserve pain, nobody does. Suicide isn't the answer, living is.

Please, don't become a statisic. Live your life to the fullest.

Hang in there. Send me a message if you need anything <3


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 2nd 2013, 11:28 PM

There really isn't that much going for me in life, I don't really see the point in going to school-> getting a job to pay the daily expenses of living->having a family -> then dieing. It doesn't mean anything to me, and i don't know why people do it ...
I'd call I suicide helpline but they aren't completely confidential, and if i suicided people wouldn't have to worry about me, since i wouldn't have a future.
My parents know i have depression and they had to deal with all the BS last year when it was at it's worst and i never hid anything :/
but i feel guilty for that know because after causing them so much concern, I'm still alive

I have a counselor though i can't say around 80% of the stuff that I really need to say because of the confidentiality agreement (duty of care) she has :/


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
http://lostinfragility.deviantart.com/
  Send a message via MSN to Breathe~me  
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 3rd 2013, 01:23 AM

Never be sorry for living and having others be concerned about you. Being alive and having people care for you is a blessing. Seeing others upset because you're going through a rough time just goes to show that you do matter. By the way, your family never has to deal with anything from you, they're in it with you. They wanna see you recover and they'd be distraught if you decided to end it. How about sitting them down and explaining to them how you feel and explain it saddens you that they have to deal with these things? Honesty.

I know it may seem like there's no reason to live, but that's just right now in this moment. Remember a memory in which you were happy and realized what life is all about. Always remember that things won't always be this bad, because life has a meaning, a good one. It's just the depression tinted glasses need to be changed. The head isn't just a hat rack, of course there's gonna be sadness but it's about overcoming it and becoming a stronger person in the process. Not giving up.

I also know that a person can only be happy if they want to recover and they have to really try. Remember that only you can change how you feel. Start tomorrow. Know that you are strong enough to do this, have a motivation like your family. Do it for them. Try seeing all the things in a day and look at the positives and pay more attention to them. Keep a smile on your face, even if it's fake it'll eventually become real and true because what's a frown gonna do? Recovery is always possible, hunny. You can do this, I know it. Do it for us, do it for your family, do it for you.

Someday when you get through this, and you're with a special someone. I honestly think you'll look back on all these feelings and say to yourself: "What was I thinking? Life doesn't matter? That's crazy...". My thought. Someday you'll be thankful you decide not to commit suicide.

~ Christabel
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 3rd 2013, 03:25 AM

I don't think talking to them about it will make a difference, they wouldn't understand..
Nothing would get fixed/resolved, my pain would not go away and in the end all that would happen was I would be putting stress/concern on them.....
I just don't want them to be hurt with my problems at all.
and I know that ending it won't hurt them like using them as a trash bin for my problems will...


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
http://lostinfragility.deviantart.com/
  Send a message via MSN to Breathe~me  
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 3rd 2013, 04:17 AM

It'll hurt them a lot more than you realize. A problem isn't forever, death is. I understand not wanting to upset your family... So how about a counselor? I care about you and want you to live your life to the fullest. I want you to realize you're special.

~ Christabel
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
Breathe~me Offline
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 3rd 2013, 05:33 AM

Anything I tell a counselor regarding my personal safety and well being goes straight to my parents because my counselor tells me that my parents will come to her if I do anything stupid and say 'why didn't you tell me.....'. I even told her that If I do get the help to make the depression and thoughts go away then I wouldn't have a reason to want to die... so regardless of how fked up my emotions feel. I can't tell her a lot of the stuff that makes me feel so alone, and I really need someone to help me so badly that I'm at the point where I regret everyday I spend on this earth :,(


~ Words scar, Rumors destroy and bullies kill ~
~ I'm just another nobody.
~ You can't tell how much suffering is on a face that's always smiling </3
~ Be my friend.
hold me.
wrap me up.
unfold me.
I am small and needy.
Warm me up and breathe me.

❤❤❤
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Subscribe to me on Youtube <3 http://www.youtube.com/user/xJustAnotherNobodyx1
Or follow me on DeviantArt
http://lostinfragility.deviantart.com/
  Send a message via MSN to Breathe~me  
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 3rd 2013, 11:04 AM

I'm really sorry to hear... But listen, you have me and so many others on TeenHelp that'd be glad to listen to your feelings and what you have to say. You aren't alone. I really hope you feel better, you deserve happiness. And I do think you'll obtain that one day. You can do this.

Stay strong <3

~ Christabel
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Whats it worth when all you live for is pain ? - January 14th 2013, 04:21 PM

Hi Hun. I understand the pain your in. I know u want it to end. I'm so sorry your in so much pain I used to think everyday about ending it. But then I thought of what my family would go through If I did. At first I didn't give a crap caused I hated everyone so much. then I thought of them finding my body/or looking for my body And it made me sick. I know it must be different for you. It's worth it cause when all of this pain subsides life can amazing. I know u don't know me but I want to help and be there for u. If u want email me @ nataliabundy@hotmail.com
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