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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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It's been five years and i'm tired - January 8th 2013, 03:32 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have lived with these feelings for five years of my life. I used to cheer myself up that things will get better if I keep on fighting, but now it's like I have learned it's never going to really get better and i will have to live like this for the rest of my life. It's all getting worse, I can sleep all day, and I do not want to talk to anyone anymore. I'm normally a good student but now I do not want to read, to study, to do anything but sleep. I have lost my teenage life for depression and now i'm going to start my adult life with depression. Just can't imagine what kind of adult I will be - weak, worthless, hopeless, and cannot even take care of myself?

I have lost the will to live, and the strength to hold myself together. I do not have any strength to tell myself to keep fighting anymore and i'm tired of arguing with this person in my head about the point of living and killing myself. It's painful that i cannot die and i'm not living too. I'm just tired. I do not want to kill myself, I do not want to cause pains to others, I do not want to go to hell because of killing myself, but I want to rest. I want to lay myself down in peace, in my bed and never have to open my eyes ever again.


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Re: It's been five years and i'm tired - January 8th 2013, 04:31 PM

Hi Katie,

I'm sorry you're struggling and that you've been feeling so low for a while, I know it's not easy to have to feel this way most of the time and I know it's not a nice feeling being tired with life. The first step in order to change how you feel is to go and see your GP. They may refer you to a therapist or counsellor who can work with you and explore these feelings and thoughts you're having but for it to help you need to have a positive mindset and talking about absolutely everything that makes you feel this low. I find that activities can be very helpful as well; you could try going out for some walks, taking up a sport you think you'll enjoy or try something like meditation or yoga, writing in a diary, watching a film or having a peaceful bath. We all need to be selfish once in a while and take some time out to do something for ourselves that we enjoy and to make us feel more relaxed and positive. People can help you along the way as much as possible but you need to want your life to change for it to change for the better.

I hope I have been of some help. You're more than welcome to PM or VM me any time about anything and I'll try my best to help as much as possible.

Take care,
Lex
   
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Re: It's been five years and i'm tired - January 8th 2013, 08:25 PM

I agree with Lex, definitely seek help to find ways to make yourself feel better. Counseling isn't that bad. Also, she's right about taking time for yourself. Do something you like, and maybe you don't really feel joy in doing anything anymore, but maybe try doing something you used to enjoy.

I know the feelings you're describing, and sometimes you do lose the battle with that voice. But don't stop fighting, because you're strong. You've been fighting for five years now, don't give in. Just because every day feels like a struggle doesn't mean it's not precious.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM or email me. I know you don't feel like anyone will understand, or you just don't want to talk to anyone or be around anyone, but believe me when I say, even though you're a stranger to me... I care. Why? Because I've been through it, and I'm still going through it. Fighting one day at a time.


Every rose has its thorns.


"No matter how adverse the circumstances, there is never any reason to give up." ~Charles Lachenmeyer
   
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Re: It's been five years and i'm tired - January 8th 2013, 10:12 PM

id say talk to someone be it on here or in real life


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Re: It's been five years and i'm tired - January 10th 2013, 09:47 PM

I have gone to psychiatrist and on meds now. It doesn't help though. But thanks anyway guys.


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Re: It's been five years and i'm tired - January 10th 2013, 09:53 PM

how long are you on the meds now , give it time it takes 4 - 8 weeks for them to fully take effect


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Re: It's been five years and i'm tired - January 12th 2013, 09:14 PM

I have been on meds for 5 months now


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