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im very depressed and i have nobody to talk to is anyone on here? - February 3rd 2013, 07:39 PM

I am only 19 years of age. I come from a home where my mom never really cared about me and i see different men going in and out our home when i was little just so she can find love. they took things from me i never had anyone to talk to they would beat her. i had a boyfriend but he beat me and nearly killed me. my second boyfriend i started dating him at the age of 13 because i had to be careful who i chose after my first breakup. i been with him since i was 13 and now im 19. we are not together recently. last year things have changed. it became all about sex and im not that type of person. i only done it because i felt he would have sex with someone else. i always planned to get things over with and go back to how they use to be between us. things changed when he really started to be with his friends last year. our last visit together he made it to where he knew i wanted sex...but i planned it but it wasnt for that day we met it was too soon. i was pregnant and i miscarried at 5 months. it was a boy. he always told his family and friends stuff that was not true about me and they hated me. they still do till this day. what he tells people and others are totally two different stories becuase thats not what happens behind doors. out of nowhere came this 18 year old girl from the army. i was actually blocked from calling him because he was with her. they been together only 3 months now and i see everything in complete detail about them on her twitter page. she moved in with him and his family on their first month of dating. i even tried suicide 3 times over him because i felt so low and down. this is the only bad life i went through with him and i feel she has something i dont have. i have 2 jobs...college...car...own apartment. she dont have any of those. she always tells about her life how nobody want her and how she get put down alot and how she not happy. they argue so bad and much. i tried everything i could possibly think of to get things back together. out of nowhere i texted "i love u and miss you" to him. i called the next day i was unblocked and i checked days before that and i was blocked before i sent the text. now im texting hes not answering. shes living with him and being with him 24/7 more than her own family. everyone likes her...i just sit and cry everynight wondering why was i so stupid and allowed this. we always use to go back and forth like nothing happened but there is a girl involved this time and its hard. i really want him back in my life but i dont see the point of him callign the operator to unblock me if he aint talking to me through a text message. hes about to turn 22 in a couple of more weeks. what should i do? hes gonna come back but i cant wait nomore.,...a girl was involved...i done everything and i feel stupid...i lost friends and everything...he even came to my family door step months back asking them can they tell me to stop textin him. i always think its my son wanting us to be together...i miss my son alot...i watched my mom get beat on and i watched her almost get killed off food when i was gone for the day at the house....shes suppose to be getting deployed next week but im not for sure shes a chemical specialist but they deployment start next week
   
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