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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Thinking about murdering someone. - February 28th 2013, 09:16 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Wasn't sure where to put this so please move if appropriate.

So yeah, I don't want to go into too much detail but I've never met him but know where he lives and could easily find out. I want to hurt his gf and make her blame herself, so she can know what I feel like since she destroyed my life. I fantasise a lot about stuff in my head and I never really do the things I think about but I don't really like thinking about this.

I'm worthless anyway so I may as well be a murderer, and I'm not afraid of going to prison because I will kill myself beforehand anyway. I don't think I'll actually do it because I'm pretty clumsy and probably couldn't pull it off, plus my parents would be upset and I don't really want to hurt them but at the same time I feel like I have to do this to get them to stop loving me. I originally planned to just threaten him with a knife to leave his gf but I'm worried he won't take me seriously, in which case I could stab him in the leg which sounds like the best option still, but sometimes my fantasies go abut extreme and I say we'll what if he refuses and I'll have to kill him.

I'm not likely to do any of this stuff but I don't really know what will happen if I keep feeling like this. Plus if I do stab him it will be entirely her fault and it is only right that she should suffer. If I'm wrong about that, then I'm worthless anyway and so there's not really any point in me proving myself by not killing him and her because I'd rather be a killer than a worthless piece of shit nice guy.

Last edited by Jack Lowden; March 1st 2013 at 01:48 AM. Reason: Added prefix.
   
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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 1st 2013, 11:22 PM

Please don't. All life is sacred. Why should you kill an innocent human being? Why should you kill at all? You have no authority to judge. Don't. Please. Think. You would end a life, ruin a family. Send his friends and parents into grief. Stop and think please. This isn't right. There will be other girls. There will be other, better days. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. I beg you. You will regret this. It's not a threat, it's a guarantee.
Please.
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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 2nd 2013, 04:58 AM

Ally is right.

You have no right to judge. I understand you must be hurting, but this isn't the way. If it was the other way around, think of how you'd feel? Imagine the families lives this will ruin, grief will take over. There's already too much grief and sadness in this world without more to add. Please do not do this. Life is precious.

Hurting someone's feelings is one thing, but this is wrong. Killing someone is drastic, it's serious, it's nothing to take lightly. Please talk to someone and try to help yourself before you hurt someone.
   
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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 2nd 2013, 12:55 PM

Yeah, I know you're right. I wasn't disputing that. I was really just asking how I stop these feelings when I get them. I kinda feared people would have this reaction...
   
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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 2nd 2013, 01:40 PM

Ohhh. I thought you were just telling us your plans... Okay. So first I think you need to work on forgiving what the girl did to you. It may take a while, but keep forgiving. Maybe go to a help group or a church. You can even google how to forgive. I don't know if you're Christian or not, but they believe God can't forgive them if they don't forgive others.

And God is right in telling them to do that. If you keep all this hate bottled up it will eat you up and become you. You'll turn bitter, maybe angry. Just let it go. You don't need to hang onto those feelings of hatred and hurt. Once you forgive, your murder plan should lose its luster, sort of speak.

I'm not sure know hard it would be for you to forgive, it's different for everyone, but whether you believe in God or not, you should give a Christan counseling thing a shot because the Christian faith is based upon forgiveness. People do wrong, repent, God forgives. And when we became so drowned in our sin, God sent Jesus to make the New Covenant, scarificng His own life to pay for all our misdoings.

Just let the hurt go. (Easier said than done, I realize.)
I wish you the best of luck.
And sorry for misinterpreting your first post.
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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 2nd 2013, 02:40 PM



I'm not the only person that's going to say this, but I think it would be good to talk to a counsellor like this. You're not the only person that has felt this way and you're strong enough to let go of this anger. This girl has hurt you and the automatic response is to want to hurt her back - I get that cos I've been there before. But think about how much better you'll feel about yourself in years or even months to come when you're able to look back and say that you got through this by yourself, and were able to be the bigger person and let it go. You know yourself that these thoughts aren't good and that they're dangerous to have, that's why you posted here,so I would take the steps to start moving on from them and feeling better about yourself and everything else, and I really think counselling would be a good way to do this. Best of luck x


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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 2nd 2013, 04:57 PM

Yeah tbh I'm not actually feeling that way anymore so thanks for the advice but it seems like this was just a temporary thing.
   
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Re: Thinking about murdering someone. - March 2nd 2013, 09:46 PM

Oh, I am so sorry about my misunderstanding. I really do apologize for that. O.o As for your question, I agree with Ally.

   
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