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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
That.girl Offline
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This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 11th 2013, 10:02 PM

I have been thinking of killing myself for some time now. I overdosed a while ago trying to kill myself but my parents found me in time to take me to the ER, that was back when they gave a damn. I have been to counselling but it never helped. Last night I came very close to killing myself and I called the national suicide hotline, which did very little good. I know it's not right to kill myself and I am searching for help. That's why I'm here right? I am a meth addict and I have been trying to quit looking everywhere for help but can't find any. My parents have come to hate me (I'm not just saying that they really do) and won't pay for any treatment. When I told them I am suicidal my mom told me to stop being a pussy and kill myself then so they won't have to deal with me. I have no friends only people I use drugs with that only care about my money. I am very close to the edge have it all planned out but there's a tiny part of me that wanted to ask for help one more time.. Although I'm beginning to believe there really is no help for me. No one cares about a stupid methhead. I'm worthless and I hate myself more than anyone could ever hate me.
   
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Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 11th 2013, 10:13 PM

So, I haven't been through anything like what you're going through.
However, I STRONGLY suggest that you listen to that part of you that's asking for help.
There ALWAYS will be help. You just have to find it!
I can GUARANTEE you that you are SO MUCH MORE than a "stupid methhead".
If you go through with it, the world will be short of a person with an amazing and inspiring story; but you have the pen.
"All stories have an ending...so stop acting like there won't be one."
Everyone has an obstacle; no matter big or small.
Just know that people are here to listen. I'm here to listen if you ever need someone to!
I will listen, I will care, and I will help in anyway I can.
I really wish I gave you some hope.
Please stay strong. ♥


ιмαяι
   
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
zandermander95 Offline
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Thumbs up Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 11th 2013, 10:17 PM

Don't Do It!!
You might think yourself worthless and you might think everyone thinks you are worthless.
I don't.
I think that the fact that you are asking for help is a sign that you are not worthless and that you are worth something.
Heck, you don't even know me. So why should you even listen to me?
Because that is just it—you don't even know me and I don't even know you, and yet, I am taking the time out of my day to convince you that you are worth living.
You might think that your life sucks, but think of it in a more optimistic point of view...You got this far! Why stop now?
I am really sorry for the way that your parents are reacting to all of this. But you know what? Prove your parents wrong! Stay alive and show them that you are strong and that you can truly be better. The fact that you wrote something proves that you are better.

I know you don't have to listen to any of this, but that makes it all the more reason why you shouldn't kill yourself. Because you ARE reading this.
Someone in the world cares.

About you.

So i am asking you with all my heart, PLEASE make my day by living yours to the fullest!!

Your friend,

Ben

P.S.

I write inspirational poetry. It might be worth something to check it out.

www.youtube.com/BENeficialPoetry


and please STAY STRONG!!
   
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Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 11th 2013, 10:35 PM

Like the others have said, please don't kill yourself. Your in a tough situation right now, and I'm sure that it's really really hard. But your life is precious and you are worth it. I'm sorry that your parents are refusing to help you, that's really tough but there are so many other options, especially if you feel that you are a risk to yourself. You could take yourself to the hospital and tell them that you are suicidal and they will get you the help and resources that you need to get better!

Please keep fighting. I'm here if you want to talk. <3


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 12th 2013, 12:28 PM

Darling,

I'm so sorry about everything that's going on and what you're dealing with, but before I go any further, take it to heart those posts up that and mine, and remind yourself that you do matter, why else would we post here? This is a sign that you deserve to live your life, not die. I'm so glad you posted here, you're not giving up by posting here, this was really brave of you and shows you still got some fight left in you. You can do this.

Parents sometimes react in anger and name-calling when they're really worried, they may not hate you. It may just be a way of expressing how worried they are for you. They don't really have much to blame it on and don't know how to get those feelings out so it comes out in anger.

Can you get any money for rehab from any relatives or anyone? And also, as Sammie said, you can go to the hospital and let them know you're suicidal. They'll help you. That's another option to try, it's worth trying too.

You know, life is so beautiful to just end. I realize you're going through a really hard time, I do, and I know it's hard to see but down the road, things do get better and you finally realize that life's worth living for. You can't forget that. I know things are hard, but wasn't there a time when you were happy? There's gotta be. So think back and remind yourself that you can have that again. I know you believe you're worthless, but that's not true at all. Depression blinds us from the beauty that we all have, you can't lose sight of that completely. Things can't always stay this bad, y'know? There'll be chances, opportunities, so many things worth living for that you haven't even gotten to see yet. Life is precious, sure it can be stormy but there's always that rainbow afterwards. The silver lining. You may not believe it, but you have a purpose here, you're here for a reason. You've got the ability to have children, create life, I think that's pretty amazing, don't you? That can happen for you one day. You can experience tons of new things, date, then there's marriage, because not everyone is the same, there's some really good people out there that would love you. And you could make someone really happy with that in return. Don't you wanna have love? That's possible too. I know how difficult things can be, but please hold on, because things do get better even when they seem they never will. You cannot lose sight of hope, it's always there so don't close your eyes. With every passing day, going through tough times, we gain strength and that makes us so much stronger and better for the days ahead. Use this time to focus on each little thing, try to improve the little things and learn to love yourself because you are amazing. You can be who you wanna be, with time and effort. Please hang on. The fact your parents saved you, is a sign that you're meant to live. You survived when you tried to get out. How's that for a sign? You're a very a survivor that can offer your experiences and inspiration for others in the future, you can say that things get better and mean it.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to. I don't always know what to say but I can listen and try to offer advice, so don't hesitate to message me anytime, hun.

You can do this,
Stay Strong <3
   
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Exclamation Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 12th 2013, 08:16 PM

I found my radial artery, used a syringe (yes im an IV user) to make sure it was an artery it hurt bad and the blood was bright red so Ik it's not a vein. So close to the surface it would be so easy to slit right up my wrist along the artery, I will do it right don't wanna fail at killing myself again. Then again I don't wanna die please help me make me stop why can't I get these thoughts out of my head! Im crying I'm gonna do it everything's ready got the razor make it stop, make them stop these voices in my head keep telling me just do it! Do it now! Do it right! Do it deep and don't look back. Am I gonna die today? probably I'm scared so very scared. Is there hope is there help for me? Please someone...
   
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Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 12th 2013, 08:56 PM

Its a cliche, but killing yourself is NEVER the answer.
Would you want to be a meth addict who killed themselves or someone who USED to be a meth addict and had the strength to get help and live.
You could help other meth addict as you know what they're going through.
Making a decision (especially as important as this one) when you're scared is never a good idea.
I really hope this helps. You deserve to live.
You can PM me anytime.


Things get better. Maybe not today, but it WILL get better
   
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Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 13th 2013, 11:37 PM

Don't do it, it is not the solution of your problem, suicide is never a solution to any problem, in fact it is another problem.

Please continue to live, I know there are still many people who cares and will give you support, just do not lose hope.

Try to talk with your family, if not with your friends, if not a psychiatrist, there are still many things we can consider.
   
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Re: This is not a joke i am very close to killing myself - March 14th 2013, 12:48 AM

I know it's hard... But can you go to the hospital? Let them know you're suicidal and you might seriously hurt yourself. They'll help you. It's worth a try. So sorry you're going through this.
   
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