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I've become obsessed and paranoid - March 11th 2013, 11:49 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I've posted here before about how a lot of my friends are depressed. Well, there are a couple in particular I'm especially worried about attempting suicide. They've attempted in the past, and while they're taking medication and receiving counseling which is helping them through the daytime at least, all it takes is one time for them to feel especially self-loathing. The main reason I know about all this is because they post stuff online, which I found sort of by accident. Since then it's been one of those "cannot be unseen" things and I've been obsessively checking what they post online and being very observant of the things they say in person. It's borderline stalking. Also, unless I'm given a clear sign that they're currently feeling at least OK, I'm paranoid of whatever they're doing or trying. I still feel like I'm doing the right thing, but when they do post something or I do hear something, there's not much I can do and that freaks me out even more. It's taken awhile for me to admit it, but I think I have to now. It's become an obsession. I'm pretty sure I have other friends who know about the suicidal friends and I don't know how they deal with it. There have been times that I've really wanted to tell my friends who don't know, but I stop myself because it's sort of a violation of privacy and also, I don't want them to go insane like I have.
This can't be healthy for me, but I'm not the depressed one. Should I keep going on like this? What should I do?
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Re: I've become obsessed and paranoid - March 12th 2013, 04:35 AM

I'm really not sure...On one hand they could flip out if you tell them, but on the other hand you could help them, talk stuff through, you know? I really don't know what to tell you...Maybe realize that you can't play savior, but still pay attention to any warning signs. I say, check the posts but don't let them become your life. Just my two cents. I really don't know. Sorry. This is a pointless reply; I'm not even saying anything useful!
I hope you figure something out. And I hope your friends get better.
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Re: I've become obsessed and paranoid - March 12th 2013, 01:11 PM

Hi, there.

First of all, I've done something like this with a friend that's still very close to me, and it drove me crazy whenever he'd post something negative. I was so worried and felt like I needed to make sure he was okay but when he did post something negative I was just a mess and couldn't do anything. Although suicide wasn't involved in this. I am really sorry about this though, I know how depressing it can make you for something like this to go on and I think you're an amazing friend for worrying so much and trying to make sure that person is okay.

I don't know your friend so I can't really say this and be sure, but I'd tell that person you saw their posts and you wanna help them. Let them know that you're sorry for looking and their posts but you're just really worried and wanna be there for them. Ask how that person is every couple days, ask to hang out etc. Try to make that person smile, send them something nice in the mail like a written letter, just something to show that you care and are thinking of them.

Looking over posts and stuff would make you kinda crazy worrying so much, so if you really think that by that person's wording of the messages posted, that they're at risk of suicide, then please reach out to someone. There's no need in keeping it to yourself. Plus, telling someone could help you too.

Meanwhile, distracting yourself is the best thing to do. Whenever I'm worried about my best friend, I always listen to music, play games, watch movies or tv shows or do anything that distracts me and makes me happy. If you have to take a nap, do that too to get out of your thoughts and refresh your mind. I know this can be really stressful. I'm so sorry.

Hope you and your friend feels better. Remember that whatever your friend is feeling, it's not your fault and you're not completely responsible of anything so please never blame yourself. I'd stop looking at the posts though if you tell someone. Well I want you to know that whenever you're like worried or something, feel free to message me anytime and I'd love to chat.

Stay Strong <3
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