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m_dr Offline
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Exclamation I dont know how long i can keep going - April 7th 2013, 04:17 AM

So lately I've been having too many thoughts. I feel so lonely. I have so many friends, people who care, people who come to me. But at the same time, I just feel so lonely. I know that I'm fortunate to have friends who care for me and stuff, but I still feel lonely.

My feelings are coming in from so many different places. I'm a straight male who just recently had a gay experience with a friend and part of my feelings is that my friend and I are no longer capable of being in the same room as each other. In addition to that, I just feel lonely.

My friends ask me what's wrong...and I don't even know. I was going to a psychologist until last week when she told me that I was fine. :/
But I don't think I'm fine. I've been spending time on my own and am feeling so much pressure to just go back to my old habits of cutting...and when I'm really feeling lonely, I think about how maybe I would be happier if I weren't alive.

My thoughts are scaring me. I don't want them to get the best of me...I don't want to impulsively take my own life.

I just...don't think I can make it much longer.
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Re: I dont know how long i can keep going - April 7th 2013, 07:07 AM

Hi, there!

I'm sorry about what you're going through. I thought I'd mention that I can relate to some of your feelings. I too, have had lonely feelings even having others around who care about me. It's really difficult, it's hard, but it eventually gets better and easier. I think this is like a rough patch in our life but it doesn't always stay this way.

I'm really glad that you've been talking with someone, and you know it to yourself that you don't wanna take your own life. I'm glad you've reached out. That's really good. I think it'd be best if you talk to this psychologist about this again and explain that you're not okay right now. Or get another professional that'll listen and try to help more. And in addition to that, I think it'd be a good idea that you reach out to your friends and family around you. They care about you and love you, so telling them how you're feeling may help you a lot. I think it'd be good if you start out by talking to this person you had the gay experience with. Even though it's difficult, it could keep bugging you till you talk about it with this person and express your thoughts on it. Even doing it through a note/letter or even a text could help to make it easier.

Another thing that I thought I'd mention, is that self-harm really doesn't help in the long run. I know it may help right now, but it's only temporary and it drowns out your healthy coping mechanisms and replaces that with self-harm which is bad and brings more negative feelings into the picture. So I think it'd really help if you work on recovery from self-harm. It's really hard at first and there will be relapses but it's so worth it. You have to wanna give up self-harm and be dedicated to it though. I'm almost a month free and I can say that it honestly feels better not having to rely on it anymore. To help in stopping self-harm, you could try the Butterfly Project and take a look at the Self-Harm Alternatives list. Keep in mind that different things work for different people so it can take a little time to find some that work for you.

Whenever you're going through a hard time in life, while getting support from those around you, you need healthy coping mechanisms and distractions. So get out and go do something, do something you enjoy, take up a new hobby, go for a walk when you're feeling sad. Write down your feelings in a journal. Make sure to remind yourself of all the positive things about yourself, and the day itself. Focus on that.

Remember that things get better, okay? Reach out while you can, help yourself before it gets too hard to do that. Keep a positive attitude. Your life does matter and you've got a future ahead of you, a good one, one where you can be happy. Don't throw that away.

I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to PM/VM me or E-Mail me.

Stay Strong <3
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cuttergirl17 Offline
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Re: I dont know how long i can keep going - April 7th 2013, 10:23 PM

everyone can feel lonely even when their really not, i think you should go back to your theapist even though she says your fine you should tell her about these thoughts and talk everything out, just because u feel this way now doesnt mean you always will, we as humans have our ups and our downs but committing suicide isnt any way to handle life
pm me if u ever need to talk
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