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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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One step forward, two steps back. - April 18th 2013, 06:24 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Whenever I start to feel like I'm making some sort of progress, there always has to be something hindering that progress. I can't remember if I've mentioned it in another post or not, but in mid-January I told my mom that I was feeling depressed and such, and on February 1st, I started seeing a counselor through my mom's EAP. And at the end of May, I will start to see a psychiatrist. And I mean, I guess the counselling is helping to an extent, it is nice to talk things out with a neutral party, but with all the progress I feel is being made, there have certainly been some setbacks. And increase in suicidal thoughts, mainly. Which is something I haven't told my mom about. But I'm actually planning out how I would do it. But that being said, I don't actually have any intention to kill myself. If that makes any sense.. I could never do that to my mom, I'm the only actual family she has left. But I do think about it. And there are times when I really would like to do it.. but I wouldn't. Not now.

Sorry, I don't know where I wanted this post to end up. Like most of my previous posts, this one kind of just trailed off into nothingness.. I just had to get that off my chest I guess..
   
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Re: One step forward, two steps back. - April 18th 2013, 08:14 AM

hey, you need to tell your mum that you are having suicidal thoughts she will help, but you say you wouldnt actually kill yourself which is good because there must be a reason and enough hope left.i feel the same right now i have suicidal thoughts but could never do it hope it gets betterxxx
   
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Re: One step forward, two steps back. - April 18th 2013, 03:31 PM

I agree with Lydia; telling your mom that you are suicidal is a good idea. Think of therapy like this: your therapist can only help you with the things that you tell her. If the professionals feel like you need more than just therapy, they will most likely put you on medication if you aren't taking some already.

Telling your mom that you are suicidal may be a really hard thing to do. Just remember that parents don't want to see their precious child feeling this way. Your mom will probably need some time to absorb everything, as most parents do. You could tell your counselor/therapist first, that's what I did. Then she pulled my mom into the room and we told her together. I hope your suicidal thoughts will diminish soon.


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Re: One step forward, two steps back. - April 18th 2013, 08:12 PM

Thanks Lydia and Cassie, I have told my counselor, kind of. Just on the initial evaluation sheet and we talked about it somewhat, but not really in depth, and I will tell the psychiatrist once I start seeing her, but I don't know if I can tell my mom just yet. I know I should, but.. I dunno. We'll see how therapy goes first.
   
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Re: One step forward, two steps back. - April 19th 2013, 01:52 AM

Hi, Jennifer.

I'm glad you won't actually go through with suicide but they're probably haunting thoughts for you. I think you should tell your mom soon, when you're ready. She's your mother and would wanna know. She'll be scared, upset, but I'm sure she'd rather know than be in the dark about it. Maybe you could have your therapist tell her with you so you won't be alone? Or write it in a note to her?

I'm here if you need me. You can get through this. There's always setbacks in recovery but you can always wind up ahead later on.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: One step forward, two steps back. - April 19th 2013, 07:02 PM

Thank you Christabel c:
   
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