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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Molz2015 Offline
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Giving Up - April 18th 2013, 02:11 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I think I've finally given up.. I was going to go home las t night and kill myself by overdosing but my foster mom hid the pill bottles because she's not allowed to have them laying out.

I think i need to go to the hospital but i don't know. I've been there 7 times in the last year or so. The nurses would be angry with me for coming back.

I can't do it anymore. I'm sorry.. i've lived this long i don't want to live any longer. I'm tired of feeling ashamed of being raped by my sister and her ex boyfriend (he's in jail ..not allowed to see my sister she has 2 years probation.) I'm tired of feeling like i'm alone in the world. I know i'm not but that's how i feel.

Sigh. Sorry for this long schpeel but this is how I'm feeling i needed to let it out.




Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Tired of living and scared of dying.

Stop the world I wanna get off.
   
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Re: Giving Up - April 18th 2013, 03:20 PM

Molly,

I know exactly how you feel. I've attempted suicide several times. But let me tell you, I've never forgotten the look on my mom's face when she saw me in the condition that I was in.

You don't deserve to be hurt, no one does. I don't believe that people should let their loved ones get so low to the point where they feel like they need to leave this earth as a way out. I would be devastated if I wasn't able to help you somehow. You have so much of your life ahead of you; it's these years that suck.

Don't be ashamed of being raped. If anything, they should be ashamed because they're the ones who hurt you. It is not your fault, it's their fault. You did nothing to deserve this.

Is your foster mom supportive? If not, I recommend talking to a school counselor or even a trusted teacher. I became really close to a teacher only to learn that he had gone through similar things at the same age. Teachers' are good people, they are in the business to help you. If you can get into therapy, group therapy is really helpful. You're not alone. I don't want to see you become a statistic.

Remember, you're beautiful.


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Re: Giving Up - April 19th 2013, 02:27 AM

Hi, Molly.

I'm so sorry you're feeling this way. Look at it this way, last night you were gonna go and kill yourself with an OD but your foster mom happened to have hid them that night. How's that for a sign that you're meant to live? You aren't meant to die because you can do this, you're strong enough.

I'm really sorry that you were raped. That's really awful and nobody deserves to go through that. You definitely shouldn't feel ashamed. Cassie's right, THEY should be ashamed for what they did. I'm glad you don't have to be around them anymore.

Can you talk to a therapist? Your foster mom if she'll listen? Friends? Even call a hotline if you have to.

I think you should still go to the hospital. It could save you. The nurses most likely wouldn't be angry because they're there to help you. Trust me, you're worth it even if yo can't see it right now. You're a beautiful person with a lot of life ahead of you. Good things, a future, being happy. Suicide is not worth it. You will get through this because these sad feelings aren't all life is.

Don't give up, Molly. Your life is worth more that you think. I'm here if you need me.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: Giving Up - April 19th 2013, 12:41 PM

Thanks guys. I think i'm gonna talk to my foster mom after school today and see if she'll take me to the hospital...I'm just really nervous about doing it though because she said if i go to the hospital that she might not take me back. I really want to stay with her. I'm just in a bad place right now. I've been having dreams that I'm killing myself. I've had a dream about hanging myself and swallowing a whole pill bottle.




Sometimes you need to run away just to see who will follow you.

Tired of living and scared of dying.

Stop the world I wanna get off.
   
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