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YoungK9 Offline
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Never Happy - April 22nd 2013, 05:34 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Sorry for posting a lot here, I just love talking to you guys

When I was young, I use to be so happy so happy. I was known my family as the giggle girl,the big cheerful smile. I loved my life,every part of it, I enjoyed life.

Now, I'm depressed,SH,& are suicidal. I've tried to be happy, do things that distract me I'm still sad, nothing really works. I'm always tired,& always wanted to sleep.

Usually when I go out in public, I get even more depressed.I use to adore going around town I don't really anymore,don't enjoy going out.

I like night,& cloudy/stormy/snowy don't specifically know the reason why,but I do.I have an obsession,maybe not an obsession, but I enjoy movies/talking about suicide with others(not telling them I'm suicidal,suicide in general).

I feel worthless,empty,alone,pointless. But at the same time I like being alone.

For self harm,it's became an addiction, I enjoy cutting myself,I feel like I'm in control.Its my way of escaping.

I don't SH on my legs,only on my arms.

Some nights,& it's becoming more common,I'll just wakeup in the middle of the night,having suicidal thoughts.There overwhelming, strong suicidal thoughts. My thoughts,both day & night are becoming worse.

I've seriously considered suicide,almost attempting it once. I have methods,& plan put into place.

I have to will to survive,to reason to survive. I try to stay strong,but I'm struggling at doing it,almost failing. I just don't want to be here anymore.
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liddy Offline
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Re: Never Happy - April 22nd 2013, 04:15 PM

i feel the same right now, my life seems to have suddenly changed from being happy to sad. you should talk to this with someone liek a close friend that you can trust i find it helps. before stopping self harming you need to sort out all the other problems as self harm is probably caused by it. i got help for my self harm which had been going on a long time and is getting slightly better so you need to talk to someone you can trust to get helpxxx hope it gets better
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Re: Never Happy - April 24th 2013, 04:17 AM

Hey, hun! Don't apologize. It makes me happy that you post on here to get your thoughts out and talk with us.

So sorry about this. You know what though? Even though you're feeling so bad right now, things can always get better and you can feel truly happy again. I can relate a bit, I like dark stormy nights as well, and being alone sometimes. Have you tried to recover from self-harm before? If you could, I think you'd start feeling much happier not having to rely on self-harm. And hey, when you think of suicide, why don't you think one happy thought afterwards? To try and get yourself thinking better thoughts.
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