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Chaotic mind...
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Unhappy No one in my life matters now... - July 9th 2013, 07:16 PM

I don't know how to start this, but I suppose I'll express my depressing feelings.
In the past few days I'd been comprehending these feels I have for years... unintended and lonely but not in that state physically, what I mean is that... well sure I have a few friends and family but...
... They don't feel like anything to me, friends are just... nothing... just people who are nice and you talk to them nicely but I feel no emotional connection the same with my family. There's no line between me and them and it's making me feel like I'm alone in this world with nothing to do therefore I could just end it there (Not suicide, I already see life is worth the journey). I just want people to matter to me, and to feel that love and worth in that.
Say what if my family was trapped in a burning house, I wouldn't try and save them and that scares me!
Just for once I want someone who matters to me, the love, kindness and care but I can't find that mattering in anyone I know!

I keep saying to myself "I must keep finding that one person to fight for through life!" and then if i ever will, I can stay in this goddamn world with no appreciation of love or even love in it. But if i just give up the search, then I see no meaning to the world... I'm disconnected to it.

I look at other people; Boys and girls in love, men and women happily married, fathers with their children. I see that and they have just that one person to fight for!

I don't know what I'm saying but it's clearly just obvious ranting on the subject of my mind, and in hope that there'll be an answer to that.
But damn, I'm just sharing.... at least to clear my mind and be back on track hopefully, to ignore this life problem for the time being.
   
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Re: No one in my life matters now... - July 9th 2013, 07:46 PM

I know how you feel. I've felt disconnected from the people around me for a long time. I think you will find someone who matters to you someday, but I think that person will bring love into your world, not make it so you don't need it. I know because I've been threw it. Now I have my best friend who means more to me than anyone else and that I love like a sister. There is someone just like that waiting for you. I know its hard to just believe it without any proof, but I truly believe it'll happen for you. Though I'm not sure if what I've said has helped or not, I hope it has, even if its just a bit.


"In spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can't build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery and death."-Anne Frank

"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world."- Anne Frank

"There comes a day when you realize turning the page is the best feeling in the world,
because you realize there's so much more to the book than the page you were stuck on."
-Zayn Malik



Last edited by DreamerPoet; July 10th 2013 at 07:26 AM.
   
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