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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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tikaani Offline
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Angry Just want to tell someone - April 29th 2015, 08:03 AM

I don't know the rules or anything but don't worry about replying to me. I just need to tell someone out there that I want to die. The only person I felt okay telling isn't in my life anymore. I called my few "friends" and no one answered. They're all busy. One called me back the next day. The other still hasn't acknowledged me. I want to die so bad. Not the process, but the end result. The nothingness. I can't live anymore. There's nothing I can do to better my circumstances. And I don't have the emotional energy to try to change my attitude. I just want to be gone. Everything I loved is gone. Everything I'd been working toward. I'm such an idiot. I'm so stupid. I'm so worthless. I messed up so bad and I can't fix it. No matter how hard I try. Everyone is moving on and I'm here crying myself to sleep every night. My mom says I look like I'm happier but it's not true. I'm starving myself so maybe I can lose weight and maybe that will help me be good enough. I also turned in all my homework and got good grades so maybe then I'll be good enough. I also am deep cleaning my room and vacuuming every day so maybe then I'll be good enough. I'm also trying to put others needs before me and being less defensive so maybe then I'll be good enough. I've been driving over 100 on the freeway without a seat belt in hopes that maybe I'll get in a crash and die. I can't do my job well anymore because everyone just asked me what's wrong. My job is to help troubled kids and I can't do that when I'm so troubled myself. I cry in the bathroom. I hate myself when I give in to eat. I just want to die. Maybe then everything I did will be good enough. And then I won't have to watch you fall in love with someone else.
   
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Re: Just want to tell someone - April 29th 2015, 12:10 PM

Hello...

It seems like your problems have something to do with how you feel.. and someone you love. But there's something about how things are.. We're all already adequate, we're all already awesome in our own way.. in a way that differentiates us from everyone around us.

And to be honest, i see you as someone who is sweet in her own way, with her very own capabilities, and deserving to be loved and cared for. Stop beating yourself up. You're special.. you're nice. and you're good enough.

you'll NEVER NOT be good enough. That's set in stone. If you want someone to rant to, i'll always be here


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Just want to tell someone - April 29th 2015, 03:43 PM

You are worth it
I am always here if you need someone to talk to, I know what its like to feel worthless and not good enough for anyone.
Don't give up on yourself, there are people out there who care about you and we care about you on here
  Send a message via MSN to Raggedy Man, Goodnight!  
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Re: Just want to tell someone - April 29th 2015, 05:34 PM

No one is worthless, always remember that, especially not someone who has a job helping troubled kids! You have alot of value, never let the negative emotions inside tell you otherwise. Emotions like that never stem from reality, never stem from logic, never for a second should you think of them as honest, they will just seek to destroy you. You seem like a strong person to have made this far, and I would hate to see you leave this world. This world has so much beauty in it, you just have to be willing to go out and see it, and if you don't have anyone there beside you to help you, I'd be willing to talk any time you need. Feel free to send me a message anytime with more details on your situation.

Also, I was depressed and pretty suicidal for 8 years, from 11-19, I learned that if I didn't have anyone to lean on, I was really all I needed at the time to make it by. It's wonderful to have someone there, and at some points its needed for sure! But as long as you have and know yourself, you can make it.
   
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Re: Just want to tell someone - April 29th 2015, 10:01 PM

I agree what they have said above and if you need to talk to someone I am here also you can Pm or VM me
   
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Re: Just want to tell someone - April 30th 2015, 06:50 PM

I'm very sorry to hear you are feeling this way. It sounds as if the way you are feeling is rooted in how you feel for another person. But remember: nobody is worth your life and you are definitely "good enough." It sounds to me that you are someone who cares a lot for others seeing as you have a job helping troubled kids.

If you feel the need, perhaps take some time off if possible to clear your head and get things in order. You can get beyond this, even if it may not seem like it right now. Best wishes.
   
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Re: Just want to tell someone - May 1st 2015, 04:21 AM

I've been dealing with similar feelings for a long time now, so everything I'm about to tell you has helped me in the past.
First of all, there is not one person in this world that doesn't have a purpose. Whether you realize it or not, you mean the world to somebody else. You are someone's reason to live. How can you take that away from them?
Second, there will always be a solution to any problem that you will ever face. Suicide is not a solution. What if when you're dead, it's worse than being alive? What if you're stuck with all of your problems, and stuck with the guilt that you left the people who loved you? When someone close to another dies, they'll blame themselves, especially in the case of suicide. If you can't think of any other reason to live, live for your family. After all, a life lived for others is the most valuable life.
Last, I don't know you, and I don't need to know you to know that you are amazing. I know this because everyone is in some way. Focus on the positive things about you and about life, there are many.
You are strong for dealing with this, you've made it this far, you can beat this. Depression is not permanent, things will get better if you allow them to.
I hope things get better for you, and if you ever need someone to talk to I'll be more than happy to listen
   
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