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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Can you hear the silence?
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Unhappy Been feeling depressed recently. - May 4th 2015, 04:06 PM

Hi everyone.

Im not one for posting in this forum but I thought I may as well to see what other people think I should do. A few weeks back I was rather unwell during that time my mood dropped and I started feeling rather depressed I got over the illness which I had to only find myself being ill again 2 weeks later. I think the fact that I was so down in the dumps recently may have brought my illness back from a couple of weeks ago. One good thing is that I'm recovering slowly and I feel a lot better from my illness. Im posting because I feel a little down about where I am in life at the moment. Im not going to go on and on about what I have been through because it's the past I'm not going to moan stuff which has already happened. I have been a little down recently because I'm a loser at the moment I don't really have many friends I never really leave the house or have a job. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't really have a life at the moment. Today I woke up and just sat around for an 18 year old I feel pretty annoyed over it. I scroll through my Facebook feed to see people I knew from high school with stuff going on in their life. I must admit it did hit me pretty hard I started to compare my life to theirs and mine is pretty rubbish. Im not one to sit here and cry over it I want to find a positive solution to fixing my life and get some where but the problem is Im still struggling with my mentally problems they keep getting in the way. One massive problem which I suffer from is social anxiety. I have been trying to apply for jobs but as I have a learning disability Im finding it hard to get a job everything I apply for seems to ask for C grades in English and maths which I don't even have close to I'm still learning basic English. I would like a job in the mobile phone sector as I know lots about them and I love them. I just keep applying in hope I will get a job no luck yet. I don't really have any friends I have 2 friends who I talk to via Facebook but I need more they live an hour away I could go and meet one of them if I wanted to but the other one refuses to meet up with me I don't know why but it doesn't really bother me. I know your going to say perhaps you should go to social clubs or find a hobby not to burst your bubble but thats not my thing I'm not a social club person. I don't have many hobbies apart from sitting and relaxing listening to music and watching football. I consider myself a very boring person but not in a bad way I just have limited interests. Other people my age have girlfriends, friends, and jobs. What do I have? None of them I don't even have friends or anything. I need to fix this I'm 18 I want to make my life better. Ive put on weight because of my depression and lack of motivation which I had a while back but it still needs burning off. I plan on starting to do runs each night to help build my fitness back up. Im slowly trying to get to grips with fixing my life but what is your guys advise? Have you been through similar things? Do you have any experience on how I can fix this issue of having no life? Your thoughts and opinions how I should deal with this problem would be highly appreciated. I often find myself feeling depressed because of this I need to do something about it!

Thanks for reading my post

Take care ~Justin~
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Re: Been feeling depressed recently. - May 4th 2015, 10:37 PM


Maybe it would help if you found a hobby that didn't involve clubs or groups. It's great that you're going to start running. You could try things like drawing or photography or writing as well. This would give you something to do when you're bored or need a distraction. It's great that you're applying for jobs. It might help your grades if you asked for extra help from teachers or got tutoring – I know a lot of schools have peer tutoring sessions where you go to school on Saturday morning or something and your classmates help you out. That could help you get a job.

Hope that helped – good luck!


The opposite of war isn't peace - it's creation
~Jonathan Larson

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Re: Been feeling depressed recently. - May 4th 2015, 11:06 PM

Hey Justin,
It sounds like there's a lot going on at once which is almost a sort of paralyzing feeling of not knowing where to begin. I do think that running like you will start soon is a great place to start. Maybe you can add something every week. Like week 1 you do running, and week 2 you do running plus something else [insert a change in your life you want to make] and keep building up from there. Something that might help with English is reading for pleasure. By that it can mean anything-comics, cereal boxes, magazines, books of any lengths, short stories, even children books! Something that keeps you interested so that the reason you finish reading that thing is not because you have to but because it is so exciting to you, you can't put it down. In other words reading should not be the aim itself but just a way to arrive to your aim which is doing something fun, exciting, interesting etc is the aim.
As for other advice, I would say go slowly-or at least in a pace that you're okay with. Just don't rush and going too slow might also make things frustrating. Try visualizing what you want the outcome to be like. Maybe make a list of the things you want to do and another list of all the smaller steps you have to take to accomplish each thing. So for instance, getting fit. You're starting to run so that's one thing. Another thing you might consider is eating healthier. Breaking down the word "happy" to find concrete things that you can do to make a difference can go along way.
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Re: Been feeling depressed recently. - May 6th 2015, 11:38 PM

I agree with the above poster who suggested perhaps joining a group not involving a club. Personally, I have found myself in the same situation as you (searching for a way to meet people and make friends), so last year, I joined a dart league. I'm not saying that is necessarily the exact thing for you, but perhaps something along those lines may help.

I feel it is completely understandable to compare your life to the lives of others. I can relate to what you said about scrolling your Facebook feed and feeling envious of the great things other people have going on, as I have done the same thing. I think it's natural and how many people would react (whether they care to admit it or not).

I'm not sure I have any solutions to your problem, but if anything, I wanted you to know you are not alone. Best of luck with the job search as well. Take care.
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Re: Been feeling depressed recently. - May 7th 2015, 05:34 PM

Hey Justin.

I know we've spoken about all of this and you know my views, especially about getting out and joining a group or something to meet new people. I think it'd be great for you. Scary at first but great soon after! I just wanted to remind you that you can do this and that we're here for you if you need us. Stay strong and keep fighting because recovery is possible, okay? Never be alone when you are struggling. Always reach out for help if you need it and don't struggle in silence. You're worth so much and you have a bright future ahead of you, you just need to work hard and stay focused. I believe in you!


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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