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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Suicidal - May 13th 2015, 01:04 AM

I have been thinking about just ending it all because I can't take it anymore. My foster parents treat me like shit and every time they look at me it's like hatred and like they just want me gone. Today I overheard them talking about me and my foster mom said that i'm lucky that she can't touch me or she'd slap the fuck out of that little bitch. I thought that coming into foster care would make my life better and I'd be more happy and I'd have the things that I need in life. But now I'm starting to think that I would be better off dead or living in a house where I get abused everyday. I can't fucking taking it anymore I just can't. I started cutting myself again. I have everything I need to end it all. I just can't take it anymore
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 13th 2015, 01:31 AM

I'm not good at this sort of thing but I'll try my best.

Instead of cutting yourself or risk getting arrested by running away, I recommend you talk to an authority figure. Say, the school counselor. Or the police the next time your parents try to mess with you. You're gonna have to do something besides harming yourself if you want to get out of this mess. Here, let me show you a quote I found off the internet.

Quote:
There is still hope for the future and we should cling to life so that we have a chance to earn our happy endings. To give up on life and fall into despair would be an insult not only to those we love but would make the hardships of everyone that suffered on our journey a waste, we shouldn't be too hard on ourselves as we still have the right to life and the chance to do better next time.
I'm not sure how much this relates to you, but I find it rather inspiring. Point is, it doesn't have to end the way you're thinking of. Talk to someone at school. You still have a chance to earn a happy ending to all of this.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 13th 2015, 02:13 AM

I feel like if I was to talk to the police then it wouldn't really go far because I'm already in foster care so what are they going to do, move me to another foster home. I didn't even think about running away to be honest. I've tried talking to authorities and they always take the adults side over the childrens. Also thank you for the lovely quote I loved it.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 13th 2015, 02:26 AM

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I feel like if I was to talk to the police then it wouldn't really go far because I'm already in foster care so what are they going to do, move me to another foster home. I didn't even think about running away to be honest. I've tried talking to authorities and they always take the adults side over the childrens. Also thank you for the lovely quote I loved it.
In that case, it's obvious the authorities won't believe you unless you show some sort of evidence. My best bet is to try to record them abusing you. I remember hearing the story of an autistic boy who managed to record a teacher ruthlessly bullying him.

If you don't mind me asking, why don't they take your side?
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 13th 2015, 02:52 AM

I honestly don't know I've never lied to the authorities. But that's how it works in my life they always take the parents side on everything and I can't record them because they never say it to my face and my tablet doesn't do that.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 01:23 AM

I'm sorry to hear you are in such a rough situation. It's difficult when you feel that you can't go to anyone for help due to people not believing you.

Obviously, you don't wish to stay in a home where you are unhappy and being mistreated. And running away is not a very appealing option, either, and likely would not go well.

I'm guessing that due to your age, you wouldn't qualify for government financial assistance to live on your own (although I certainly don't know that for sure). I realize that being put in another foster home doesn't sound like a pleasing option, but think of how much happier you would be if you were placed in a better environment. I understand the fear of the opposite happening, of course, but I would also hate for you to end your life due to feeling hopeless.

I seem to recall a post from you a short time ago stating that you felt guilty for leaving your biological family behind to live in a foster home where you were much happier. If I may ask, have things gone downhill to a great degree since then? In any event, I wish you the best and hope you find a suitable option.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 02:58 AM

Yes they have gone downhill to a great degree. I just don't understand how to deal with it and I do feel hopeless and I feel like no one is going to help me where I live. I have thought that I would be happier in another foster home but then that's just another situation where I'd have go through again. Since the state has gotten permanent custody of me I feel like my life has been a living hell.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 03:04 AM

I'm sorry to hear that. Is there perhaps a friend or another family member you could stay with? If so - and although you are in the custody of the state - you may be able to speak to a judge and work something out in that regard.

If not, I'm wondering: since the state holds custody of you, perhaps there is a way you could live on your own with government assistance. I don't know how these things work, of course, but it could be something worth exploring.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 04:10 AM

I'm gonna be blunt, you're between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you've got highly abusive parents while on the other, running away still isn't a good option.

-A home. Where are you going to stay if you run away?

-A stable source of food. Because what the hell are you gonna eat if you run away? You'll be on a very tight budget.

-Access to the internet. Because I doubt you'll be able to live in internet cafes all your life.

If your parents ever bully you again, talk to the school counselor. In my experience, they're inclined to believe you.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 04:36 AM

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I'm sorry to hear that. Is there perhaps a friend or another family member you could stay with? If so - and although you are in the custody of the state - you may be able to speak to a judge and work something out in that regard.

If not, I'm wondering: since the state holds custody of you, perhaps there is a way you could live on your own with government assistance. I don't know how these things work, of course, but it could be something worth exploring.
Well not just yet because I am only 15 years old. I don't think I can stay with anyone unless they have a background check and they get finger printed and then something with their social security number also. Honestly, where I live parents are not very open to sometimes letting their hang out with me. I used to have some friends that I no longer do because their parents found out I was in foster care.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 04:42 AM

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I'm gonna be blunt, you're between a rock and a hard place. On one hand, you've got highly abusive parents while on the other, running away still isn't a good option.

-A home. Where are you going to stay if you run away?

-A stable source of food. Because what the hell are you gonna eat if you run away? You'll be on a very tight budget.

-Access to the internet. Because I doubt you'll be able to live in internet cafes all your life.

If your parents ever bully you again, talk to the school counselor. In my experience, they're inclined to believe you.
I have places I can go and there they have food and internet. I've tried talking to the school counsler and its all the same shit "it will be fine" "its okay" . In my experience it doesn't help.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 04:53 AM

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I have places I can go and there they have food and internet. I've tried talking to the school counsler and its all the same shit "it will be fine" "its okay" . In my experience it doesn't help.
What places? Friends?
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 14th 2015, 06:31 AM

I'm sorry to hear your friendships have been limited due to your home situation. To me, it seems pretty closed-minded and just plain wrong for other parents to discriminate against you for being in foster care, which has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of person someone is.

The only other suggestion I can think of would be to possibly speak directly to your foster parents about the situation. You mentioned that they don't treat you well and seem unhappy in your presence (which I am in no way suggesting is your fault or in any way an indication of what type of person you are - that's important for you to know), so perhaps you could all work together to come up with a solution that suits everyone if you feel that would be a realistic option to explore.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 15th 2015, 03:58 AM

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What places? Friends?
The friends I have left yes.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 15th 2015, 04:08 AM

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I'm sorry to hear your friendships have been limited due to your home situation. To me, it seems pretty closed-minded and just plain wrong for other parents to discriminate against you for being in foster care, which has absolutely nothing to do with what kind of person someone is.

The only other suggestion I can think of would be to possibly speak directly to your foster parents about the situation. You mentioned that they don't treat you well and seem unhappy in your presence (which I am in no way suggesting is your fault or in any way an indication of what type of person you are - that's important for you to know), so perhaps you could all work together to come up with a solution that suits everyone if you feel that would be a realistic option to explore.
Thanks and I totally agree that it's wrong but that just how people feel like they need to treat me because of my situation. I did talk to my foster parents today and it went pretty good. We are just going to start over with a clean slate and forget the past. I really appreciate you giving me advice and helping me through a rough time.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 15th 2015, 04:21 AM

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The friends I have left yes.
Do you have their phone number? If so, maybe you could call them the next time your parents mess with you.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 15th 2015, 06:45 AM

No problem at all - and I'm very happy to hear things are better
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 16th 2015, 03:45 AM

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Do you have their phone number? If so, maybe you could call them the next time your parents mess with you.
Yes I do have their numbers but I don't have a phone so if I was going to call them my foster parents would know.
   
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Re: Suicidal - May 16th 2015, 03:46 AM

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No problem at all - and I'm very happy to hear things are better
Thank you I really do appreciate you helping me.
   
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