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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
xyzman Offline
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Exclamation i just cant do it any more - May 15th 2015, 02:49 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i just cant no more pain pleas nothing matters any more and all i feel is this unbearable pain i just cant be happy nothing ever goes the way i want it to NOTHING and i mean it 23 years of this and i just cant take it any more i just want to stop hurting even if its for a second i just want to feel something ells the only thing i had that helped is gone and i cant handle it
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 15th 2015, 05:41 PM

Hey there,

It hurts so bad right now and you're really struggling. That's perfectly alright. You have done so well in expressing that and I hope something will ease your pain. Nobody ever deserves to feel as low as you do right now. This is not your fault.

You say the only thing that you had which helped has gone. May I ask what it was?

Something will ease the pain but for the moment it might be beneficial for you to reach out for help from people close to home. Have you seen a therapist at all? Are your family and friends aware of how you feel? It will honestly make it an awful lot easier on you to tell somebody. Maybe try writing it down if you don't feel ready to talk.

If you are in immediate danger of suicide please call for help.

Please take care.


“You always look so cool,
like no matter what happens, it’s got nothing to do with you,
but you’re not really like that.
In your own way, you’re out there fighting as hard as you can,
even if other people can’t tell by looking at you.”
   
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xyzman Offline
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 16th 2015, 12:57 AM

ya people know and i just started seeing a therapist but non of any of this helps i know it sounds silly but i really think theres no hope this time around this really messed me up and i don't know if i will ever be ok again its been a month and if any thing i have been getting worse

and what i lost was some one beyond close to me the only way i can describe her is the one and its killing me i have lost others that i have been close to but this is so much different its really feels like i have lost everything and i'm trying to hold on to her but its killing me i'm trying to keep her in my life to hopefully get her back one day but i don't know if i can last that long at this rate

and its scary to think that i'm not joking when i say its killing me i'm not eating i'm not sleeping or drinking its all just enough to keep me moving and i can feel myself getting weaker and weaker and its not that i don't want to eat its my body it wont let me its like every thing about me is just giving up and so do i it just not worth hanging on it seems and i'm trying to get better but it feels like it will take to long i just don't know what to do
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 16th 2015, 05:35 AM

I knw how deadly depression and anxiety can be. How it can make people feel worthless, activities seem boring, your body feel weak, make it seem like everyone is judging you and make it seem that this is just what life is like, this is reality, and things won't get better. But things do get better. I am someone suffering with general and social anxiety as well as long-term (and at this rate likely life-long) depression.

It's great that you feel able to express yourself on here. But I can't help but notice that sometimes instead of expressing your emotions, you are instead obsessing over your loss. When you become obsessive like that you can sometimes work yourself up into a worse state rather than working yourself down into a better one. I have similar tendencies, so I know that such obsession can happen pretty much involuntarily. But whenever you catch/notice it happening, try and step back for a second and focus on something else.

Also, right now you are viewing your relationship as the focus of your life. After loving someone for five years, your feelings are completely normal and understandable. But in order to move past what you are going through, you must learn to think of other things as important. If she is the only important thing to you than of course you can't think about anything else. But I am sure you have other things going on in your life to think about, other things that are important besides her. I see that you are studying mechanical engineering with honors. That's really impressive! I hope you look forward to a successful career. I know you also have friends, as well as hobbies such as snowboarding. Those are very important too.

Right now one of the best things you can do for yourself is exercise. This may sound counter-intuitive, but exercise actually makes people feel more energetic. It produces chemicals that improve mood, makes people able to focus more clearly, and increases appetite. Also, activities, including talking with friends, tend to be more enjoyable after exercise. Now that it's summer, the weather has goteen a lot warmer. You might want to go for a jog or a bike ride. I've found that fresh air also helps me think more clearly and feel more awake. It might be because it has more oxygen. Sunlight is good for you too, as vitamin D increases energy.

Doing fun activities, especially after exercise, can cause an upward cycle.When you're really depressed, doing something fun can make you slightly less depressed, which makes the activity slightly more fun, so on and so forth. So it's important to do them even if they're not much fun at first. Remember that even a tiny bit of enjoyment is better than where you were a few minutes beforehand.

In terms of eating, I've found that simple foods are easiest. Things like grapes, bread, apples, and meats low in salt (like grilled chicken, or turkey burgers) tend to be easy for me to eat when I am depressed. Anything more complicated or heavily seasoned makes me feel nauseous. Also, I tend to feel nauseous whenever I'm dehydrated, so I have to make sure to eat lots of liquids so I can also eat. Picturing foods in your head can also help. Try to picture the taste and texture. As strange as this sounds, I've also found that sniffing foods helps. The less the smell of a food bothers me, the easier it is for me to eat it.

I hope that this advice has helped. If you want to talk, feel free to PM me. I've been through similar things before myself, so I can give you advice from experience. I also love helping people, and I also just like talking to people. So feel free to send me a message whenever!
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 16th 2015, 07:53 PM

it just so hard t=with whats going on right now and i'm trying to make the best of it but its to hard
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 16th 2015, 10:55 PM

it just keeps getting worse and worse i cant do it why is suicide so wrong why cant it be ok for those in to much pain like animals
   
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Exclamation Re: i just cant do it any more - May 17th 2015, 01:16 AM

i know i keep posting over and over but im just having a really bad day and at this rate idk what ill do i mean i planed every thing out weeks ago when i was really down and not im heading right back that way and maybe even further and im scared my life just constantly keeps going down hill and i dont know when it will stop i may not make it to the bottom alive
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 17th 2015, 02:54 AM

why dose this keep happening just getting worse and worse im just trying to talk to people and trying to make things right make people happy and it blows up in my face i dont get it its like every thing wants me to be misribal and its working all to well i have finaly lost every thing and im so dune with every thing i dont want to be here i hate it i hate every one i just want to die
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 17th 2015, 11:31 PM

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can go up. That's pretty shit, but true. I know I had too. Really had too. To the point where I ended up in hospital for two years, attempting suicide, self harming, on constant observations and doing everything i could to hurt myself. But that was the lowest I could go. Things started to go up and things are a bit rocky now but that's part of the journey. Recovery isn't a straight line. You know?

I know it's real hard but you can do this and things can get better but you're gunna have to put all of your hard work into and let time heal it too. Make sure you aren't alone. Having a good support network around you is something that's very important. It can be greatly beneficial and I think it'd help you a lot. And remember that we're always here too. We're not going anywhere, any time soon! Just focus on your goal and stay focused. You have a life, a future and you can get it, you just gotta fight for it. Believe in yourself and have hope.

Take good care of yourself,
Jessie


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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 18th 2015, 04:02 AM

I think you should read the post here by DanceCommander.

http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f9-re...-relationship/

While her advice there was to someone else, I think you might still be able to gain something from it. DanceCommander said in that post what I was trying to get across to you. She also said it far more eloquently than I feel I am able to.

Let me know if you find that post helpful.
   
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Re: i just cant do it any more - May 18th 2015, 08:07 AM

Watch this vid for me please. It can't hurt right?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n3XEbloPRI

You can pull through you can do it.

Also when I was suicidal I could really laugh and get hope out of this cracked acticle. It is rather dark humor though so be warned but if you like that kind of stuff read it.
http://www.cracked.com/article_15658...ide-guide.html

try to go do something fun with a friend. Go for a run. Do some yoga. And write down positive things every day.


Helping others sometimes makes it easier to feel good about yourself and help yourself.

So PM me if You want.
   
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