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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Booker Dewitt Offline
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I think I'm going insane. - May 21st 2015, 01:32 AM

I have just come to a revelation.

You know, I've been diagnosed with depression, by the way. So before you say it. This has absolutely nothing to do with puberty.

The things I did while trying to be a hero were horrible. I simply cannot do anything right. I have the ability to earn the scorn of anyone I came into contact with. You may say my intentions were good, but I knew I wasn't helping people the right way. And yet on I martched. I convinced myself I was doing the right thing. I lied to myself. Even worse, I built a imaginary wall around myself, completely separating me from what was reality.

You may think that because I feel guilty, the wall was over. But no. I continued to keep up this mental wall because I'm afraid of hurting more people. So not only did I separate myself from reality, but the wall stands to keep me away from any social interaction. And why not? If I keep it down, I will only end up bullying more people.

What the fuck is the point of tearing it down? As I said, I have the ability to earn the scorn of anyone I meet. All I'm good for is hurting people, as several trusted teachers and counsellors told me. I have no other talent. I might as well retreat from reality and my friends, who don't even like me. I'm a fucking scumbag.
   
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Re: I think I'm going insane. - May 21st 2015, 02:56 AM

Let me make one thing clear, and this should be clear for anyone reading your thread as well, any members or guests, or guests of members, I guess LOL. Being diagnosed with Depression does not make you insane.

I recommend you invest in potentially getting courses in suicide prevention or even crisis intervention. In a slightly less direct way, you can ask your counsellor what to say when responding to someone who needs your help. However, if you don't know how then it might be best to step back from the keyboard for a bit.

Some people just don't know how to respond to people, and there's absolutely no shame in that. You have to put yourself first and in fact, I recommend getting treatment for your own Depression, in the way of counselling and regular consultations with your doctor. When people come to us for help, especially when it's online they just want someone to respond and it by no means has to be you. Some members on the site are more proficient in areas than other, and if you just leave it to someone else, then again there's no shame in that.

You have no obligation to help someone out. Even if they come to you directly, just recommend someone else that can help, as in another member, or just point them to HelpLink, at www.teenhelp.org/helplink, or somewhere else. You need and deserve to put yourself first.


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I think I'm going insane. - May 21st 2015, 07:07 AM

I said this in my last post, and I'll say it again here.

"Don't feel bad about your troubles with helping people. Helping people can be very complicated. Sometimes people's personalities don't mix well. Sometimes people misunderstand each other. Sometimes something that sounds sarcastic in one's head may come out sounding literal on the screen. Sometimes people just want to be angry or upset and don't actually want help. There are many reasons help may not be successful."

I agree with SeventySyndrome that in terms of helping others, everyone has areas of strength and weakness, and that some people just don't know what to say to help someone, and that there's no shame in that.

Also, even people who end up being good at helping others don't necessarily start off that way. Sometimes people do end up hurting others in the beginning. I know I've hurt my fair share of people in the past. While plenty of it was just other people being spoiled and oversensitive, there were also plenty of times when I was immature and insensitive myself.

Remember that to a certain extent, when interacting with others, hurting them by accident on occasion is inevitable, and just a part of life. This may sound weird, but actual bullying tends to be intentional. Bullies become bullies because they want to. But you don't want to. From what I can tell, you might be very clumsy and blunt with your words, so you hurt people by accident. While hurting people is bad, I do not think you should think of yourself as a bad person. Instead, I think you should view yourself as someone who is still learning to talk to and interact with people.

At the same time, you may be right that you hurt people more than you should. And if so, it might be a good idea to step back for awhile like SeventySyndrome suggested.

In my opinion, I think you should observe the interactions of other helpers on this forum. When reading posts, try asking yourself some of these questions:

Do you think that other posters successfully helped the person with their issue? What did they do right? How are they approaching the original poster (op) and their issue? What style are they using when they talk (confrontational, questioning, comforting/consoling, etc).? What could they have done or said better?

After asking these questions about other posts, ask yourself the following questions: What can you learn from this? How can you apply it to giving people advice yourself later on? What tips can you learn about talking to people in critiquing ways, using constructive criticism, while still being kind?

By the way, regardless of whether this is about puberty or depression, I feel that getting in touch with yourself still applies, as doing so helps with both issues. Depression can cause people to be irrationally hard on themselves, and tear away their own self-confidence. It can make people feel very lost. And while puberty may not be the main cause, all of the changes and instability it brings can definitely make depression worse.

My reason for recommending a fresh start is that fresh starts bring fresh mindsets, which are also good for depression.

P.S. As SeventySyndrome said, having depression doesn't make you insane. I wanted to clarify that, though I realize that the reason you think you are going insane might not be because of the depression.
   
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Re: I think I'm going insane. - May 22nd 2015, 10:50 AM

in order for things to get better, the first thing you need to do is to forgive yourself.. and remember that everyone has went through various phases in life. The common thing that everyone has is mistakes. But something that's not common is the ability to forgive yourself.

I think you should first talk to the people you bullied, apologize and become their friend. Obviously, they might not be so receptive to you at first but its time you turned over a new leaf and everyone starts somewhere.

You should look forward, and try to help the bullied and raise their self confidence. Plenty of people have went through a lot of shit, and i think that you can be the person to pull them out of their negative mindset.

You've made your mistakes, and its time to forgive yourself.. and help people out. Be a savior to those who need help That'll be a good , happy fresh start!


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rant to me if there's anything!

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: I think I'm going insane. - May 23rd 2015, 09:33 AM

Green Yoshi just suggested two of the same things I recommended earlier on my post in your previous thread. We both have suggested you try to forgive yourself, and also recommended that you reach those you have hurt in the past.

Like Green Yoshi, I too think you can learn to help people successfully. That's why I posted on this thread a suggestion for learning how to help others without hurting them. But remember that even if you think that helping people isn't your thing, there are still plenty of ways to help the world.

One really good way is to volunteer. Volunteering can include things like serving food to the homeless, sorting clothing in clothing donation places, and several other things that do not even require much interaction with people.

Another good way to help the world is to share art, if you're an artist. You never know whether something you made could brighten up someone's day.

Another way is to share resources with people who need them. For example, if someone is on a forum looking for online self-help resources for depression, and you know of a really helpful page, website or resource, sharing it an really help the person out.

These are just a few of the ways people can help others besides giving advice.

I hope that this helps. As always, I wish you the best. Always feel free to PM me, even if you just want someone to chat with.
   
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