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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Sophrosyne Offline
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Losing hope - June 9th 2015, 01:07 PM

Everything was getting better but now its not so much. I don't know what to do anymore. I am constantly reminded that the world would be a better place without me and all I do is hurt people, and now I'm starting to wonder if they're right. Basically everyday I think of ways to die so people don't have to live with me anymore. I want to be that person that is fine and can smile at anyone but I don't want to be alive so obviously that person is going to appear for a while. Can someone please tell me why I should even bother? I mean, whats the point? We all die anyway sooner or later.

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  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Losing hope - June 9th 2015, 03:02 PM

I'm so sorry you feel this way, but I want you to know that you aren't alone. There are people who are here who care for you, and who love you. I know things are hard right now, but they won't always be hard. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it's just unfortunate that we don't' know how long the tunnel is. I know that you can make it though this. You have a purpose for being here on this earth, and it isn't just to hurt yourself. You will do great things in your life. It could be something as small as making a difference in a child's life, but that child may grow up to be a wonderful president or an amazing scientists.

I know that that this pain you are holding inside is rough, I truly do, but I also know that it is possible to overcome it. I am always here if you need a friend, you are more than welcome to message me anytime. Don't loose your hope, or your faith in this fight, because I promise you it's worth it. It's worth every personal battle and it's worth all the struggle and when you come out from this darkness and you see the shinning sun you are going to be so glad you held on. Keep your head high, things will always get better. I'm always here.

"One day, in retrospect, the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful." ~Sigmund Freud

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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Losing hope - June 9th 2015, 08:14 PM

Hi Hilary

You always do so well at reaching out for help when you need it. Be proud of yourself for that, it's amazing! I am sorry things seem to be going down hill again and hope that doesn't last long. Sometimes in recovery we go up and down a lot but you have to keep on choosing recovery, you know?

The world would in no way be a better place with out you. You are part of this world and deserve to be in it and be a part of it. You don't just hurt people. I'm not going to say you have never hurt anyone because I think we all have at some point but you don't go around doing it daily on purpose. I know you aren't that kind of person so stop thinking so badly about yourself when you are actually a lovely and bright person!

Maybe you need to stop yourself from thinking of ways of dying. I know thats going to be hard but when you start thinking about ways to die, do something to distract yourself and keep you busy and your mind occupied. It could be anything but something to keep those unhelpful thoughts out. They are the thoughts we want to be stopping, yeah?

Life is so beautiful. You can either look at it and think whats the point when we're going to die anyway or you can look at it in a way and think we only get to live once so lets do it good! You're never going to get a day like today or a day like tomorrow. But always remember today affects tomorrow. You have a life worth living and going through all this and coming out the other end will make you see it in such a beautiful way.

I know this is real hard for you right now but you can do it and i Believe in you so keep fighting and don't be alone. You're not on your own in this, okay?


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
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Re: Losing hope - June 9th 2015, 10:43 PM

Hey, Hilary!

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and that things seem to be getting worse again. You're doing really great by simply reaching out here. Along with that, I read your post in the self harm free thread. You've made it 3 weeks, congratulations! You have what it takes, you know? You've proven that you're a really strong person.

We've only been talking for a very short while, but basing off our chats and posts I've seen by you, you're a really nice person that doesn't quite see that herself. Who do you feel like you've hurt? Honestly, we're all going to hurt someone's feelings during our lives and most likely it's unintentional but that's not all you do. I'm sure that even if you don't realize, there's many people in your life that you have an impact on, that you've made smile on many occasions when they too, have felt down. The world would definitely not be better without you, Hilary, okay? The world would lose someone really great. You have a lot to offer and you have a purpose, even if it doesn't always feel that way. You can make positive differences in this world by doing such small things that you wouldn't give a second thought to.

How about focusing on yourself and looking for positive things? No matter how big or small. I'm sure you've done so many good things as well, so maybe it may help to remind yourself of your good qualities and accomplishments. Everyone has unique, great things about themselves, including you!

How about writing down a list of reasons to live, similar to this list? It could be a way to remind yourself of the positive things ahead. You could also begin thinking of your future and what you'd like in your future too. You're at an age where you can begin planning on what you want in terms of a career, and start aiming for that as you go.

Life can be really tough but it's important to remember that it can also be equally beautiful. Live for tomorrow and live for the good days that'll definitely come. Think of it this way (a quote that inspires me), "you can't see the rainbow until after the storm". That sounds really beautiful to me as it relates to life, and the fact that once we get through the tough times, there's always going to be more wonderful things ahead that was worth getting through the storm.

Hope you're feeling okay right now, Hilary. Just remember that I'm here if you need to talk. Even if it's just a vent, you know? I'm happy to listen! In the meantime, take care and keep fighting. You can do this, you're a stronger person than you realize.
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Re: Losing hope - June 10th 2015, 08:38 AM

In my eyes, the people who're telling you that you're worthless, are making a huge mistake. I see in you a person who cares, and a nice person. The people around you are just too silly to see that. And to be honest, i used to have the same problem. I used to think that i myself am someone who's not really worth being here, someone who really, really needs to become a better person. And i do need to become a better person, but its just the fact that people are kind enough to also remind me that the ones who really care for you and love you will accept me as i am.

I see no reason for you to not accept yourself... you're a sweet, kind, lovable girl. And you deserve better than to feel this way. Doesn't matter what the world says.. as long as you're someone who knows how to care, love and take care of people.. you're a good person.

You're loved and you're cared for. NEVER think otherwise. and there's so many reasons for you to live. You've got so many smiles to show, so many experiences to brighten your day. I'll always be here for you to rant to.

It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.

rant to me if there's anything!



As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
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Re: Losing hope - June 11th 2015, 04:11 PM

Many people dealing with depression and/or suicidal thoughts believe that those around them would be "better off" without them. However, I can assure you this is not true. Regardless of whatever issues or differences you may be experiencing with those close to you, I'm sure that they do not wish for you to be removed from their lives.

I'm sorry you feel you are such a negative to so many people. If I may ask, what is it that makes you believe this?
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