TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
MsNobleEleanor Offline
Resource Editor

I can't get enough
*********
 
MsNobleEleanor's Avatar
 
Gender: Female

Posts: 3,026
Blog Entries: 1462
Join Date: December 29th 2011

Gender Discrimination - June 22nd 2015, 03:46 AM

I'm being targeted in a very harsh and horrible way possible, it's causing me to feeling alone, trapped, depressed, and useless; I'm even feeling there is physically something wrong with me to the point, why did I ever be born? I'm a victim of gender discrimination in interviews and being targeted and badgered in the entire process, ripping my self-esteem from me. Keeping that smile and acting normal throughout these interviews is harder than anything.

I've already contacted Human Rights and I do have a strong case providing *A thing* happens and *B thing* occurs.

I had went to an interview last week, my gender got questioned, my ability to do a job (washing windows) was put to the question, then my height was mentioned. (I am extremely sensitive to height comments towards me) and then... my gender was talked about. What in the gods F**ing name is wrong with me? Clearly my gender is a issue, my height, and my ability to work is questioned. I feel no respect and I don't respect myself or like who I am.

Since all this, I've considered to getting a sex change because I am questioned on my ability to work, that I have breasts and a vagina, and my height is pulled in this questionable endless targeted conversation. I've had strong thoughts of suicide and seriously causing damage.

With all this, I am suppose to follow up with Human Rights tomorrow (Monday) for a follow up and I am giving them all the contact details where they can start the investigation process. I am even pulling my Employment Consultant in. I am trying to obtain employment in a trade or labour related work. Moment I walk in, it's this automatic, gender issue, height issue and this and that. I feel I am on this stool being questioned about everything while being insulted over and over again.

"Are you capable of this work?"
"So, you can lift 50lbs repeately?"
"Some contractors don't want to hire females due to liability for sexual harassment"

It's endless...

Last week at the interview for cleaning windows after the interview I cried the entire way home on the bus (over an hour bus ride) and he made me feel extremely horrible. "You would work better inside cleaning the windows, better for you to reach." Then why the hell did they invent fucking ladders then? Seriously? Am I that incompetent? He asked if I was interested in marketing/sales, I didn't travel an hour to a damn interview to be asked if I want to do marketing/sales when I made it clear I wanted to do labour work. I am just done with this crap.

It's emotionally draining and tiring.

I am struggling with my sexual orientation and I don't feel like a gender anymore, that I have no gender, I've had thoughts to shave my long hair off. I just don't feel anything anymore.

Just talking about it pisses me off. It's infuriating. I'm getting horrible panic attacks about my gender and my ability to work.

I don't know how to relax, I don't know how to stay positive and I am honestly afraid to go to my next interview (it will destroy me and I will flip the table at the interview) because I can't do it. All I want to do is cry because I don't feel like anything. I feel like "IT" I feel like "it".

I guess I am unsure what to do? I am unsure how to remain calm because honestly I can not remain calm. It hurts.


Have questions or would like to chat send me a PM
+
Senior Article Editor | Newsletter Editor | Resource Editor
Outreach Ambassador | Social Media Guru
Community Moderator | Forum Moderator

   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,844
Blog Entries: 1770
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Gender Discrimination - June 22nd 2015, 07:57 AM

Hey there,

Discrimination does happen. It does sound like you are being questioned because of physical features you can't change. I think that you should definitely follow through with human rights about this and see what they can do. I know that sometimes proving discrimination can be hard but if there is merit to the case they will take it and try and help in whatever way they can.

I know this is discouraging but you have to try and keep your head up. Not everyone is going to question your ability to work. And, these issues shouldn't impact how they view you. Don't let it bring you down too much or question your ability to work. I am sure that you are capable of many of these jobs. These people are just refusing to believe that.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Dream Offline
Member
Senior TeenHelper
*******
 
Dream's Avatar
 
Gender: Female (Trans MtF)

Posts: 868
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: Gender Discrimination - June 25th 2015, 04:31 AM

I'm sorry to hear that you're being subject to work discrimination based on your gender. Obviously it is illegal, and I hope that you find some recourse or a position where they don't do that to you.

What I'm wondering, based on your post, is if you're possibly having a gender issue that goes beyond sex discrimination for employment. Do you think you might be a trans guy?



   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Hiraeth Offline
Glorious raindrops
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Hiraeth's Avatar
 
Gender: Male
Location: who knows anymore

Posts: 699
Join Date: October 24th 2010

Re: Gender Discrimination - June 30th 2015, 07:08 PM

Yeah that's super messed up and inappropriate. Go for the human rights complaint. You'll have a good case.

Unfortunately, the field that you're pursuing is more on the extreme end in terms of sexism and lack of diversity in general. Lots of women have pursued macho-dudebro dominated careers and succeeded, but it's true that it isn't for everyone. It's going to be a lot harder when you're already struggling with lots of other internal chaos. It's okay to say that maybe, right now, I'm not ready for this type of work. If you're really interested in hands-on, trades type of stuff, you will get around to it sooner or later! But maybe not right this moment.

Having worked in a male dominated environment (but not as extreme), I've observed that the successful female coworkers often need to overcompensate by portraying a certain kind of personality. (ie. loud, rude, aggressive, in your face....) Some male coworkers react to that badly but they suck it up and listen because at the end of the day, her voice is still the louder one. This comes naturally to some women. My mom is that kind of person. Others couldn't learn it if their life depended on it.

The problem is that what you're experiencing is systemic, it isn't limited to certain employers. Even if a decent manager hires you, you might encounter problems with coworkers. Is this kind of work environment going to be a healthy one? I learned this the hard way, so I really advocate for caution and discernment now. Maybe being really interested in the work helps make it bearable, but the long term effects of being in that kind of environment are not insignificant. This still applies if somehow you manage to be seen as "one of the guys", either through personality and actions or "passing" as male in appearance, whatever it is, aggressive macho attitudes are going to be a presence in the workplace even if they're not targeting you, even if you were completely invisible and no one knew you existed at all - would observing that environment on a regular basis be emotionally safe to do? It doesn't sound like it right this moment. Of course that can change.


"If limitations exist, it is because we have erased the possibility of potential."

Feel free to PM me if you ever need anything.
  Send a message via Skype™ to Hiraeth 
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
discrimination, gender

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.