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im just a dead man walking
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to scared to die - June 24th 2015, 07:01 AM

i make this quick i always wanted to kill my self my life sucks all im good in is gameing i have no friends but in holland u cant get a gun and i want a fast death i dont want to hurt my self
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Re: to scared to die - June 24th 2015, 09:30 AM

Hi there. I'm not gonna give you different ways to kill yourself fast and easily, because 1- I would have contributed to your death, whic, and 2- It jut so happens that I don't know of any effective suicide methods anyway.

But I'm definitely up for chatting with you through PM or something like that; I know that something which helps feel a bit better is telling another person about my problems. So please feel free to shoot me a message!

Oh and one more thing: you say that the only thing you're good at is gaming... You're saying this in a way that makes me interpret what you say as "what is important in life is being good at stuff", and personally I would disagree. I think enjoying stuff is more important than being good at something.

Anyway, as I've already said, feel free to PM me anytime!


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."
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Re: to scared to die - June 24th 2015, 12:40 PM

Human beings have a very deep aversion to danger. Even if you find this life to be nothing more than an existence, by which you contribute to improve the existence of others, even if you have a less spiritual interpretation of life, everyone loves the bloody thing. However, with some people, that love of life is buried, further down their thoughts and perhaps even beneath their general consciousness.

What I find reassuring about your case is that you have found what it is that keeps you here. Gaming is your way to contribute to the world and in that regard, you, in some degree, still directly love life. I recommend you step back from the desk for a moment, leave whichever room houses your firearm and ground yourself. Literally remind yourself where you are, feel the ground beneath your feet, take in your surroundings and take yourself out of your mind for a moment.

Begin now to consider, the significance of the discovery of your skill and your enjoyment for gaming. Now it may not seem like much and video games are fundamentally artificial, but the enjoyment and certainly the relative mastery of video games means a lot more. It means you have patience, you have dexterity, quick fire planning skills, critical thinking skills etc. Now all of these skills only scratch the surface of the real non-material value of the mastery of such forms and they really depend on which games you play, but the acknowledgement of your enjoyment for gaming means an acknowledgement for the value of your contribution to this world, indirectly. I would consider that highly reassuring for you.

Also, you said you had no friends in Holland. Now of course I can't comment in too much detail without knowing the dynamics of where you live, but gaming can also help you find other friends, through the beginning of conversations in stores and the discussion of the developments in news in the industry etc. You can use this enjoyment to try and make some friends. As far as how, you're asking the wrong person, my friend .

I recommend you have a look at getting some consultations with some professional healthcare providers and mental health support providers in your area. This includes doctors and counsellors, and other support workers, depending on the government of your given state/province. You obviously haven't been feeling this way for no reason and even with further details, I doubt my ability to help. Seeing someone professional will give you an opportunity to iron out how you're feeling, talk to someone with the reassurance of the experience that person undoubtedly beholds, and get some coping mechanisms to go with that.

I hope this response helped you and I recommend you come to us whenever you need any other support/advice.

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die, scared

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