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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Stressed, depressed, but well dressed. - July 25th 2015, 08:40 PM

So, I have an anxiety and panic disorder. But I felt like posting this in here because due to recent events, I've been on and off depressed. Like I have been having crying spells a lot, some days I can't motivate myself to do the things I enjoy and my anxiety has been awful lately.

So, the thing with my anxiety is. It started like three years ago, when I overdosed on a bottle of pills. It didn't kill me (obviously ) and I'm thankful for that. But I remember like an hour afterwards feeling short of breathe, and lightheaded and I was so terrified I was going to die. I ran to the hospital (I didn't tell them I had ODed because at the time I was afraid of getting kicked out of college) and they told me I was having a panic attack.

Long story short, I'm still having them and anxiety three years later. I'm just tired all of the time and out of it. Like I don't feel like the same person. It's hard to get me motivated to want to do things I used to want to do. I just don't have the energy anymore. Is this normal? Also, I feel out of touch reality, like I'm walking through a dream like stage...I don't know if that's normal either. All, in all, I still think something is medically wrong with me but every doctor I see says I have generalized anxiety disorder, depression and/or panic disorder.

Right now, I'm seeing a counselor. She wants to put me on medicine and I went to see the pyschitrist she recommended and he put me on a low for of an anti-depressant and said it should take the edge off of my anxiety. The fun part of this is new medicine makes me anxious, so I haven't been able to take it. My boyfriend doesn't believe in pyschitric medicine, so it doesn't bother him if I choose not to take this one. I guess, I want peoples opionions on this as well. I remember, there was a time when I was managing fine, with anxiety. It would flare up but not every day. I want to get back to that, without medicine. I'm just not sure if I can. I also, kind of want my primary care doctor's opinion on this, more than my pyscitrist. Is that weird? I'm just afraid he would tell me it's not his field and to go talk to my pyschitrist about it.

Overall, I'm just tired of dealing with this. I also never told any of the people (counselor, pyschitrist, primary care doctor or mentors) about my suicide attempt and how that started this mess. Come to think of it, I don't think I've even mentioned how bad my anixety is to my mentor...I don't know if I should or not.

It's just been rough because I've recently became unemployed, job searching is stressful, interviews are stressful, rejection letters are stressful, being a house "fiance" is stressful (because that's not me, but now my fiance is supporting us, I feel like I have too do all the house work and take care of furry friends), staying home and being bored all of the time is stressful, my money budget going down and not being able to control my impulse buys is stressful.

I just feel like I'm falling apart most days. I want my life back.


all i want is a place to call my own and
mend the hearts of everyone who feels alone,
woah,
you know to keep your hopes up high and your head down low.

<3
   
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Re: Stressed, depressed, but well dressed. - July 25th 2015, 11:05 PM

I feel like this all the time and it gets hard but what i like to do is surround my self with my loved ones. and the thing about the Drugs is on you if you want to you could ask your doctor about the effects of the drug and if you dont like it dont take them or you could try taking them then if you don't like the effect of them while your on them don't take them
Good Luck
   
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Re: Stressed, depressed, but well dressed. - July 25th 2015, 11:39 PM

I must confess to never having been on medication of any kind for depression, but based on things I have heard, I think taking meds is perfectly fine as long as you are careful. I would suggest using your own judgment and if you feel the medication is not working or having negative effects, perhaps seek your doctor or counselor's advice and they may be able to prescribe something else.

I completely understand your anxiety about being unemployed - I went through a similar situation recently and it can be very stressful. Sometimes finding a job can take time, and while it's frustrating, I'm sure something will come along before long. Best wishes.

P.S. - I'm sorry you are stressed and depressed, but I do like your post title here ... and being well-dressed is often great for your self-esteem
   
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