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memyselfandi98 Offline
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Exclamation HELP!! please (: - April 16th 2016, 10:39 PM

Hey yall. I hope everyone's doing okay. I've finally decided that it's time to reach out- for real. I'm going to talk to my school counselor and I think I might do it in the form of an email or print the email out and read it to her. Does this seem to long or like too much information?? What can I cut out? Is it too dramatic to send to her in an email??? I really need your imput and please be honest. I don't want her to think I'm crazy and I want it to go as smoothly as possible... THANK YOU!

Dear blank,

It is 1:11 p.m. on Saturday, April 16th and I've been laying in bed trying to decide whether or not I should finally reach out for help- for real.

I've been watching a Youtuber and therapist, Kati Morton for a month or two now and she's really helped me get closer to asking for help and coming to terms with the fact that my tendencies or "coping skills" are not normal. She also stresses that you should keep it plain and simple when you reach out for help, so I'm going to just tell you my coping skills and where I'm at, from least worrisome to most.

First is eating. This is one of the least of my concerns because I feel like I am able to turn it off and on and I don't look like I even could have an ED. When I want, I count calories, restrict (longest has been 2 days with only water) and I binge and purge, sometimes at the same time, sometimes separately, and I also avoid eating in front of people.

Second, I self harm. I began doing it about two years ago, but then stopped for a few months. This year, I picked it up again. I usually just cut but I've burned myself using salt and ice a couple of times.

I'm not really sure if this is something I need to mention but I also never really feel present. This is third on my little list because it's something that is fairly constant. I don't really feel like I'm living my life or in control of my body. This is really hard to explain. I feel myself moving and doing stuff and talking with people and smiling but I don't feel it. I feel like I'm watching myself doing stuff and that I'm not really connected to any of it.

The last thing I think I should tell you, and this is without a doubt what I struggle with the most is suicidal ideation. I am always thinking about it. I do have a plan, multiple ones in fact, and I have also gotten very very close to doing it two or three times. I carry around a handful of pills that I have done research on and calculated a lethal dose, just in case I need to do it right away. If I cant make myself do it, then I will either drink, cut, or take some kind of drug (I've only ever tried sleeping pills) so I can at least do some kind of harm to myself that will eventually make my life end sooner. At first, it freaked me out. That's why I tried to reach out to a therapist online in December. Since then, however, I feel like I've kind of come to peace with it, to me, it seems like a rational decision.

Okay, so I know I said I'd keep it short, but man that's hard. I know I need help, but I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of my depression, self harm, eating habits, and suicidal thoughts. I take comfort in them and I'm afraid of what will happen if I try to rid myself of them.


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Re: HELP!! please (: - April 17th 2016, 12:40 AM

Congratulations of seeking help! That's so amazing! <3
Please keep us updated on how it goes.

I think that's a great email.
   
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Re: HELP!! please (: - April 17th 2016, 05:44 AM

I think that's a very detailed email, and I do think that it 's kinda direct to the point. But it's also better this way. The more the school counselor knows about your situation, the more she'll be able to help you.

Also, keep in mind that you can talk to me or anyone of us if you do need some advice or just someone to rant to.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: HELP!! please (: - April 17th 2016, 07:07 PM

Is this better???


Ms. blank,

I've decided I'm going to just tell you what's going on in the simplest, easiest way that I can.

First is eating. This is one of the least of my concerns because I feel like I am able to turn it off and on. When I want, I count calories, restrict, I binge and purge, sometimes at the same time, sometimes separately, and I also avoid eating in front of people.

Second, I self harm. I began doing it about two years ago (around the same time I began obsessing over food), but then stopped for a few months. This year, I picked it up again.

The last thing I think I should tell you, and this is without a doubt what I struggle with the most, is suicidal ideation. I am always thinking about it. I do have a plan, multiple ones in fact, and I have also gotten very close to doing it two or three times.

I know I need help, but I'm not sure I'm ready to let go of my depression, self harm, eating habits, and suicidal thoughts. I take comfort in them and I'm afraid of what will happen if I try to rid myself of them.

Roxanne


Feel free to message me!
   
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Re: HELP!! please (: - April 18th 2016, 12:50 PM

That's also good as well(though the first one might be better because its more informative) Just make sure that she knows about your feelings , and that she also knows that you want to get better.

Be co-operative with her and let her know how things go.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: HELP!! please (: - April 18th 2016, 03:41 PM

My guidance counselor at high school was truly amazing. I am not sure how you are with anxiety, but I would have panic attacks so bad, pretty often. The fear of a panic attack alone would cause it. There were days where I was just so overwhelmed I needed to escape. My counselor suggested making a "pass" that was just a signed note to give to any teacher or faculty that would excuse you from class to go to her office. The nurse, teachers, and office workers knew about it ahead of time so there wouldn't be any issues. Anytime I got overwhelmed I would excuse myself to bathroom and office to just talk calmly and get myself ready to go back to class. I am not sure if that is possible for you, but may be worth checking. Many people will be willing to help and support you if you just let them know what is going on. Reach out. You are taking a huge step! You should be proud of yourself.
   
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Re: HELP!! please (: - April 27th 2016, 07:26 AM

Hello!

It's great that you've decided to reach out for help, that requires courage! Congratulations! Email is fine, I don't think it'd be dramatic. I'm sure she'd be okay with any form of communication if that's what you prefer. Counselors are very understanding, so don't worry about her thinking you're crazy or anything like that! Personally, I think the longer the better. As long as you don't rant and repeat the same stuff over and over. The purpose is to give her as much detail as you're comfortable sharing because the more she knows, the better she'll be able to help.

Don't worry too much about it! It'll all go smoothly. Just be yourself, be open, be honest and straightforward about how you're feeling. They'll understand. And by the way, it's normal to feel scared or nervous, they've seen it all.

I hope this helps! Keep us updated, good luck!

See you around!
Love. - xx
   
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