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brokensmilexx Offline
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Name: Sara
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Post-partum Blues ? - April 17th 2016, 01:07 AM

I think I'm getting a bit of postpartum depression. So I thought this might be a good way to let myself vent and get my feelings out.
Ever since I was young I suffered from depression and anxiety.
In my teen years I struggled with an eating disorder as well, and still do.
Well, almost a year ago I got pregnant and quit smoking cigarettes and weed which was a massive struggle but I did it.
Now, my baby is here with me and he is beautiful and truly amazing. However, I feel like I'm starting to unhinge a bit. As much as I love my baby boy, I miss being able to go out with friends, drinking, relaxing and smoking weed.
I stay inside about 90% of the time and live in an apartment. My anxiety is so bad that I don't leave the apartment without someone with me.(unless going to dr apps)
I feel depressed because of this, and the fact that I hate my body right now.
I've started smoking again, which I am ashamed to admit to my family.
I used to live in a house in a quiet area with lots of nature around and a big back yard..now I'm stuck in an apartment downtown with a cold stone balcony..
I miss nature, I miss my friends whom no longer come around, I miss going places, I miss my independence. I miss doing stuff other than cleaning and sitting on the couch.
I'm afraid I'm going to get very depressed. I have had my moments already but I don't want my son to see me like that. I'm afraid he will pick up on my sadness and anxiety. I just want to give my boy a happy childhood.
I love my baby. But I miss my old lifestyle.


Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind donít matter and those who matter donít mind.


"Live your life and risk it all
take some chances, take the fall
take your time, no need to hurry
have some fun, and never worry ♥"
   
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Post-partum Blues ? - April 17th 2016, 05:52 AM

Hello Sara.

I think that you might be in a dark place , but keep in mind that you'll be able to keep in contact with your friends, and also talk to them and maybe talk to your friends and ask them what's up. If they come over, then they'll probably be able to have a good time with you and also help you cope with how things are. I think that what you should do right now is probably also join some new clubs (maybe a maternity club or a cooking club ) and most probably also pick up some other interests you might find interesting (knitting , cooking, reading, diy house modification as well as shopping sound like brilliant ideas ). Most of all, I can tell that you probably have had some self-confidence issues and its probably better not to think too much about how things are (things are different now.. and as far as I know , you're a beautiful mother to a beautiful baby boy. )

What I think you should do is also remember that smoking is something a lot of parents do, and smoking is hard to quit. But I also do know that smoking / drinking or whatever habits you have , don't determine your value as a person. What truly determines your value as a person is how you treat other people, and how much you care about others. Your feelings towards your baby boy clearly show that you've nothing to be ashamed of, and I'm very, very sure that your baby boy is going to be very proud of you.

Continuing what I said in the first paragraph, I think its going to be good for you if you mix around with new friends, and also perhaps go shopping with your baby and explore. Sometimes, this might lead to happy times , and vacations with your baby can be cute, fun and enjoyable. I also know that this will also help you deal with your feelings , and also allow yourself to slowly but surely settle into your new lifestyle.

Most of all, I'm very proud of you for quitting weed after getting pregnant because that's a very responsible thing to do. You're a responsible mother (more than plenty) and I do think that you've no reason to doubt yourself. What you need to do is to perhaps make peace with the fact that maybe that old lifestyle might yet return, but you can enjoy things as they are now (clubs, activities, shopping trips, and other stuff ) and give yourself more things to look forward to.

Some happy mothers are happy because they're both responsible and fun-loving people. I think that you can be that person

I hope I helped. Also, if you need some advice or just someone to rant to, feel free to talk to me.. I'll always be around!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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