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Dancer for life Offline
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I'm done - June 21st 2016, 10:06 PM

I'm tired of life in general I've attempted suicide 3 times I've ended up on a mental ward several times since I was 5 all I hear now is my mom yelling at me from the time I wake up until I go to bed I'm still in school right now so all my mom does is yell at me about that I've been self harming every day but today I ran away from school got chased by a therapist and now I'm
Back home hearing her tell more I try to tell her I'm depressed but she says its for attention she even tells the teachers that I should be in trouble and makes them suspend me. Sorry if all of this is out of order and doesn't make sense
   
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Re: I'm done - June 25th 2016, 03:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dancer for life View Post
I'm tired of life in general I've attempted suicide 3 times I've ended up on a mental ward several times since I was 5 all I hear now is my mom yelling at me from the time I wake up until I go to bed I'm still in school right now so all my mom does is yell at me about that I've been self harming every day but today I ran away from school got chased by a therapist and now I'm
Back home hearing her tell more I try to tell her I'm depressed but she says its for attention she even tells the teachers that I should be in trouble and makes them suspend me. Sorry if all of this is out of order and doesn't make sense
Hey there,

Your story does make sense and it matters, so no need to apologize for that

I'm sorry to hear that your mother had been yelling at you when you're struggling. That isn't right at all and you deserve a safe space to express your emotions.

It also sounds from what I understand, that your therapist and teachers are not being supportive either. The fact that a therapist is chasing you and teachers suspend you on the basis of what your mother had told them sounds unprofessional. It sounds like this is all affecting you, as you run away from school, only to be back home again.


Do you find any teachers that are supportive or that you feel connected to? If there are, maybe you can spend time with them during free time at school. In the past, I would volunteer to assist a teacher during my lunch break and that would give me a calm and quiet room, something to get busy with as well as a teacher that I enjoyed having conversations with.

Based on your username, my guess is that you enjoy dancing. Do you have time to dance these days? Maybe that's something you can spend time doing. You can also look into joining a group that puts on dance shows, or a theatre company that has dancing included. Another thing you can try is teaching dance. There are all sorts of initiatives these days such as using dance as a way to combat obesity in children, or dancing for a cause like a benefit concert. If you can't find any near you, you can also come up with an idea yourself that you'd like to see happen.


I know it's hard right now, and especially because the stress has been adding up for so long, as you've mentioned you've been to mental wards since age 5. I can't imagine how that must have been for you.

I also know that finding a therapist or counselor that works for you, takes time as you'd have to try a few sessions first. But I do encourage you to look into seeing someone different than the one who chased you. I think that the mental health system is broken and needs a lot of work so it is easy to fall through the cracks and no longer trust mental health professionals as a whole. What I do know is, there are decent mental health professionals out there who are standing up for what they believe and doing the best they can with the resources they have. It is not easy but the professionals who understand the problems that exist can form strategies that best serves the client in spite of it all.

Hang in there
   
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Re: I'm done - June 26th 2016, 01:26 AM

Hi,

I'm really sorry to hear what's going on in your life right now. It must be incredibly hard for you. I think Maizel gave you some great advice, and I really agree with what they had to say. My mom is also a little like this as well - It sucks.. a lot. I know it can sometimes feel like it's not going to get better - but luckily we aren't doomed to live with our parents forever. We get to make a life for ourselves eventually. I know it doesn't always feel like that time will ever come, but it will!

Don't give up okay?

I really want to emphasize finding someone you can talk to that trusts you. Like the previous poster said, it doesn't sound like you've found anyone, like the therapist and teachers that aren't supporting you. Is there someone you trust at all? a family member, maybe extended? or another teacher at your school, or an official at your school?

I know it's hard to find people, I myself didn't find anyone I felt like I could talk to about my problems at home until last November, and I too had been dealing with the problems since I was young.

I hope this helps a bit, and you're always welcome to send me a message!

Take care.


"You'll have to decide for yourself. Walk on your own. Move forward. You've got a strong pair of legs, Rose. You should get up and use them."
   
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