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Tougher than I thought. - July 17th 2016, 04:08 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of death or grieving, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

My life is not under mortal threat from myself anymore... but there's a part of me that feels extremely empty after she left. It's like there's a hole in my heart that's consuming me slowly but surely. I know that eventually, I might be able to find someone who's able to connect with me the same way she did, but I don't know if it would be quick enough.

So to sum it up, I'm safe for now. But I'm not sure for how long. The exact situation now is that I know that its stupid to die, but I don't know any real reason to live, either.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

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screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Tougher than I thought. - July 17th 2016, 05:24 AM

Besides friendships, what normally keeps you occupied during your day? Do you work or have any type of school? What about goals the the future, what is your career goal or places you want to visit? I think setting goals is a really effective way to give your life some purpose. Set some goals that excite you, and require you to be somewhat adventurous. Life can be so wonderful, yet so mundane. That's why it's important to try new things and put time into activities you love!
Going back to friendships though, it can be tough to find someone that you really connect with. My best advice is to just try and keep in touch with people, and you may find someone you feel really comfortable talking to. Friends have come and gone a lot in my life personally, so I understand where you're coming from! It's tough to let friends go, but if things aren't working out it just opens up space in your life to find new friends that compliment your life better. Not everyone can fill the void of loneliness, but I promise more people can than you think!


And here you are living, despite it all.
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Re: Tougher than I thought. - July 17th 2016, 05:28 AM

Thanks Nicole I do have work, and places that I want to visit. But a throughout my past, i wasn't really in a position to have friends or enjoy much companionship, so perhaps its my vulnerability in that regard that made it hurt so much.

What you said about new friends is so right. I'll keep that in mind so that I'll soldier on and find those people who are just right for me. That void of loneliness is what i 'm experiencing, and it was kinda a little tough to deal with at first (judging from my other thread, definitely kinda tough ) But i'll do what I can do.

Thanks!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Tougher than I thought. - July 17th 2016, 05:43 AM

Do you have any friends you spend time with where you live? Or family? Even if they're distant you could try reaching out to some people and reconnect? With technology it's pretty easy now to stay in touch and reconnect with people! That may help as well. That makes sense though as to why it hurt when that friendship ended. You're getting through it though, and every day it will get a little easier. When my relationships end whether romantic or platonic, I like to think of them as complete rather than over. It softens it a bit and helps me find closure to move on.


And here you are living, despite it all.
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Tougher than I thought. - July 17th 2016, 05:56 AM

I sorta do, but they are the kinda friends who you just kinda say hi to, and I'm usually the one messaging them first , and sometimes they aren't receptive to my efforts to communicate with them. I'm trying to do that now.. here's hoping it works. I do need companionship, love and someone to shoulder my burdens and worries together with me.

That's a good way to look at it nicole. Thanks!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Eternal Offline
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Re: Tougher than I thought. - July 19th 2016, 03:35 AM

I'm glad that you're trying to reach out at least! I know it's annoying when it feels like you're always messaging people first. It probably doesn't mean they don't want to talk to you though, I know I have a hard time staying in touch with people. Friends are definitely great for listening and helping you get through tough times. Don't be afraid to reach out to any current friends just to vent, I'm sure they wouldn't mind! It's easy to feel like you're bothering them, but that's what friends are there for.


And here you are living, despite it all.
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Green Yoshi Offline
The screwdriverneedsgas!
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Re: Tougher than I thought. - July 19th 2016, 05:22 PM

yea true that. I'll definitely try my best But i also know that i deserve compassion and love in some way. I do agree that sometimes people are too busy. But those who matter won't hesitate to listen and help out.

Thanks for being so patient with me You're a really, really good friend.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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